Obligations, Expectations, Demands, Oh My!
How do we live like this?
You ever see a horse and think to yourself that they just look like they were made to be ridden? It’s like that space that we as humans have adopted for the saddle is the perfect fit for us. Perhaps my imagination just isn’t creative enough or maybe my knowledge of anatomy isn’t broad enough to be able to come up with another explanation for the shape and curvatures of the horse. A biologist would probably tell me the horse is made to run; they would break down the architecture of the beast as one perfectly suited to speed in wide open spaces.
Similarly, we as human beings seem so perfectly designed to burden ourselves with things. That space of influence on the back of our soul is the perfect size for the triple threat slavers of obligation, expectation, and demand. We do it so effortlessly without even a thought as to the potential risks, rewards or consequences. Can we even imagine a life without these? Just think about it:
You wake up in the morning by the demand of sunrise or your alarm;
You clean up and get dressed by the expectation of society;
You manage the kids or spouse or pet by their demands, expectations and obligations;
You make your way to work by the obligation of your company or bill collectors; You perform a function by the expectation of your supervisor or manager;
You go to the pub by the demand of your own sanity!
The examples don’t stop there. These three words are everywhere in our lives enslaving us to the whims and wishes of institutions, societies, and individuals. In a cruel twist of irony, we even turn these slavers on ourselves, creating expectations, making demands and obligating ourselves to do certain things. I imagine some are thinking, “There’s no way around it; that’s just part of life?” Is it though? Are horses made to be ridden. Did horses have no purpose before we decided they might be good to ride? We have adopted these slavers to give ourselves purpose and identity but we didn’t need to. We have purpose and identity inherently. We just have to learn to see it. Unfortunately, if you live your life following these slavers, you will never find out your purpose or identity. They do no allow you the time to do it. Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for these slavers in society but most of us have allowed them to completely take over our lives. We have made it more easy to listen to the outside voices than those within for the sake of an organized society. We have made our lives more about being ridden than enjoying the run.
Try to think of a time when we as humans just allow ourselves to rest in our own skin. Do you have a time or a place where you can just exist, just be you without any outside influences skewing the picture of who you are and what you want? I imagine that as total relaxation.
How do you do it? You turn the dial down on all the voices in your head pulling you in so many different directions and just listen to your body. You ignore the nagging feeling that you should or could be doing something else, and just focus on being in the present. Meditation can help with this. The key is to turn away from all external sources and tune into yourself. Listen to your heart. This is your emotional center where your feelings live. Listen to your soul. This is your conscious center where your mind, will and physical desires live. Listen to your spirit. This is the part of you that connects to the divine (whatever your divine might be). They are always trying to get your attention. They have a lot to say to you about who you are and what you need to thrive. Have conversations with them. Get to know each of them individually. You will see that they are not perfect but they each have a unique perspective to offer on everything you experience in life. The more you attune to them in silence, the better you will be able to hear them with the external sources present.
(I suppose someone has noticed that there are three slavers and also three parts of yourself. I wonder which three that space of influence on the back of your soul was made for?)
The goal is not to escape life; it’s not about slacking off, relaxing or even taking vacation. It is about ridding yourself of the unnecessary slavers, replacing them with yourself. You were made to interact with and enjoy life, to organically make your unique mark on history. So by all means interact and enjoy. Eat to enjoy your food (soul). Exercise to feel invigorated (soul). Work to take pride in an accomplishment (heart). Have sex to make a connection and enjoy the sensations (heart/soul). Be kind to feel good about it and put positivity out into the world (heart/spirit). Love just because (spirit). Be the best version of you (heart/soul/spirit)!
Like horses, we as humans were made to run and though obligations, expectations and demands may hitch a ride at times, we have to learn to buck them off and run without them. Just enjoy yourself, no pressure, no riders, just wide open life!
