Striving for Happiness
What can we do, if anything, to control our happiness?
Most of us have a memory that comes to mind when we think of happiness. It may have been with a loved one as a child. Maybe we laughed so hard with a friend we were sore the next day. Or perhaps a time in a relationship at the beginning before things got complicated.
We have wondered what the secret is to happiness for a long time, and minds like Albert Einstein, Socrates, and Thucydides have made their suggestions.
I doubt any collection of words that can form a single sentence could ever define happiness that includes everyone. Maybe the secret of happiness is complicated and takes a lifetime of learning and failing to see what works.
I think learning, failing, and science will be our best help. So while all of you evaluate your knowledge, failings and think about what gives you personal joy, here are a few things backed up by research that will hopefully help you on your journey.
Value Your Time, Not Your Money
A study done in 2019 finds that when we value our time over money, people are generally happier after a year. When we stop making big decisions based on money but on time instead, we choose careers that hold a more significant value in our lives.
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less” — Socrates
Art and Interactions With Culture
Being creative is taxing and takes a lot of energy and discipline. To force yourself to be creative when you feel like nothing is left to give. And to strive for the ability to express and understand is tiring work, and it seems to pay off. A study suggests that people involved with art and culture may potentially be happier people.
Unfortunately, the study admits that it's not entirely positive that people who interact with art aren't already happy. As a result, they have gravitated towards art and culture because of their emotional status.
As someone artistic, I would agree that art increases happiness in my life with the right influence. I have had moments when I felt depressed or sad about a particular aspect of my life, whether about work or family issues. But, being able to fall on something artistic always made me feel better.
Of course, art isn't always happy; art can be dark, perverse, and grotesque. However, some of the darkest art I have looked at has allowed me to value my life a little more. And, the darkest art I have created is like taking weight off my shoulders.
Meditation
Unfortunately, when it comes to being happy, we always seem to find ourselves on the wrong side of the fence. I think someone talks about the grass being greener somewhere else or something like that. Why is that? Well, there is this thing called the Hedonic Treadmill Theory.
The Hedonic Treadmill is an idea that individuals always return to a specific neutral place in their happiness. Brickman, Coates, and Janoff-Bulman did a study ("Lottery Winners and Accident Victims: Is Happiness Relative?")that got the ball rolling on this idea. As a result, people started to try and prove them wrong as expected because who wants to be told happiness is unattainable for longer than a brief moment.
Meditation is the hero in this story. More specifically, loving-kindness meditation.
“Amor vincit omnia, et nos cedamus amori” — Virgil
“Love conquers all things, so we too shall yield to love.” — Virgil
Let me know if things are starting to feel a little too sappy.
The study done in 2008 supported by funding from the national institute of mental health found that doing an hour a week of loving-kindness meditation improved qualities of life that seems to outpace our ability to return to our neutral state of happiness. So maybe there is hope after all!
Final Thoughts
Research is ongoing, and I imagine there will always be a battle between the pessimists and the optimists. However, additional research suggests we have multiple happiness set points with our mood, and certain conditions can change our set points. I would maybe agree with that statement because I'm an indecisive pessimistic optimistic.
“The secret of happiness is freedom and the secret of freedom is courage.” — Thucydides
“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.” — Albert Einstien
