Writers’ Blokke
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Writers’ Blokke

Talking About Monies Without Stirring the Hornet’s Nest

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Mac Duke: The worst sin you can ever commit to yourself is to sit and wait for someone to give you money.

Here is an example. Let’s say a parent, depending on her child for her upkeep, has trouble broaching the topic. She is embarrassed to ask and has to find a way to do it. A single parent wanting support — it is not easy to ask!

Dependence is hard. Asking for help is tough and so is financial dependency.

People who are financially well-cushioned like to proclaim that money is only a tool. That it is not as essential as people make it out to be. But with the tool not being there for use, how does one cope?

Joan Rivers: People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Create an amicable atmosphere before talking about finances

Maybe it would be a good idea if you prearrange a time to discuss finances instead of springing surprises and throwing in suggestions without enough preamble. This is a mistake most of us make, thinking we can save the uncomfortable ambiance by saying/asking and closing the conversation. You are lucky if it works this way. Most times it may end with, “Let’s talk about this later”, which by itself can be a put-off for the one who began the conversation. So, try to have a peaceful time to talk about money, instead of creating major hurdles, which will be difficult to alter later.

Calm minds can have conversations of value.

Make sure you ask the right questions and use the right words

Money matters are sensitive. Questions asked with the least negative intentions can throw people out of balance. Very often, the question, “How much money do you want?” can be a major put-off. Even a child may know that it does not sound nice. The one who is in need will immediately try to either ask for the least requirement, just to avoid embarrassment, and some, out of habit, may ask for way beyond what’s required.

Choose your words diligently, it can help ease conversations, and avoid awkwardness. Understand that the one seeking help needs to be handled differently.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Remember that a financial situation today may differ from what was yesterday or will be tomorrow

Conversations about finances should be periodic. Finances can be volatile, unstable finances are prevalent today, given the varied forms of investments and asset types. The one requesting money does not know your financial status. Make an effort to assess finances regularly to avoid involuntary outbursts and shocks. In the dynamic world of technology, it is possible.

Allow other people involved in the conversation to be heard

Everyone has an opinion. It does not mean as a receiver one does not need to talk and the giver has all the say. Let people talk. Ask if someone has an opinion and hear them out. Do not make people feel small as ‘receivers’ — whoever that may be. It is hard for the underdog to face an insult, especially when it comes to money.

Jane Monica-Jones: All aspects of our life; our self-worth, our family dynamics, political choices, and even our love lives are touched by the money wound.

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