Member-only story
The Cereal War
Four stores and seven Cheerios ago,
a war broke out
that pitted grain vs. grain.
An aisle divided against itself cannot stand!
It was the one-percent milk people who started the war, of course.
We skim milkers were left with no choice.
We were attacked by those one-percenters,
a tribe of unbelievably horrific creatures
led by the likes of
Count Chocula,
Yummy Mummy,
and the brothers Boo and Franken Berry.
On our side, General Mills appointed a fellow named Crunch as Cap’n.
But in contrast to the strong, wealthy team of monsters,
our army only managed to reel in a ragtag team of quirky characters
who didn’t stand a chance against those killers.
We recruited a bunny who liked to pull pranks and perform magic
far too often.
We finally had to say, hey,
