The power of letting go
Have you ever stayed too long with someone or felt stuck in one place? Are there things you’re holding on to, even though you would like to let go?
It doesn’t take us long to identify the things we want to keep in our lives. It is with those things that are not working out, that we struggle. Letting go is the one thing that is easier said than done, and the reasons go deep.
Beliefs
From the moment we are born, we are exposed to people telling us what we are supposed to do. Messages we hear repeatedly, especially at a young age, we tend to internalize. Some messages are repeated so many times we don’t even question them. Some of them affect our lives so profoundly that we don’t even realize it.
When the message you internalized sounds like “you must never give up”, “failing is not an option”, “just try hard enough”, then letting go becomes the most difficult thing to do.
Does it happen that just when you are about to reach your limit and start thinking about letting go, something stops you, and you give it another go?
If the answer is yes, it’s time to dig deep and ask yourself who is stopping you, is it you or you are just replaying the same old message you used to listen to repeatedly?
Burnout
It may seem that facing burnout would make us let go of the things that are stressful, but it is often quite the opposite. In a state of burnout, it gets harder to connect to ourselves, and that connection is essential in letting go.
In the world where being busy is the norm, we often struggle to cross all the things on our to-do lists. When there is so much stuff that needs to get done and when almost every task is urgent, we can hardly fit in our schedule time to think about our big goals, meaning, and the things we want out of life.
Even when we realize that we lack meaning in the things we work on, the pressure to finish the tasks and/or lack of energy, can keep us stuck in a place we don’t want to be. Finding out what we want and making a plan requires our time and our energy.
If you feel you are under a lot of pressure and you feel things are getting out of control, then it is a perfect time to take time for yourself, whether it is a simple break, vacation, or starting with psychotherapy.
Time
Marriage, career, education, these are just examples of long-life investments. We invest our time, energy, sometimes even money, and the longer we give, it gets harder to let go. “Losing” what we built over time can seem terrifying and the more we have to lose, the more we are prone to give it another chance.
Being so used to some things can make other things look scary. It can seem like we forgot how to act, and we no longer have it in us to face new challenges.
We may suddenly realize all the positives in things we dread just a moment ago. An old relationship could bring comfort in its routine, even if there’s no more love. Even if we feel miserable on the job, it could bring a sense of security.
Facing the decision to let go can make us feel confused. Letting go comes with a sense of relief, but relief is not the only thing that shows up. Letting go is often followed by excitement, a sense of openness, but also a feeling of melancholy, and even grief.
Letting go takes time, energy, facing our fears, and digging deep into our psyche. For those exact reasons, letting go is a lot more than a decision. It is a powerful journey, and it makes us grow, possibly more than anything else.
