The Strength to Move Forward
“I felt unworthy and had so much anger. What could I do to move on?”
Karina Guerra
What happens when a couple who struggles to have a child, eventually divorces after birthing four children? Is the marriage a waste? Is Heavenly Father punishing the two of them for some hard and ugly deed they or their families committed against God? No, then what gives?
I have asked these a few questions myself many times. After reading a paper from Sister Karina Guerra, I found some sources of answers. Karina’s comments are my inspiration for this article. I pray that she continued peace and blessings flow like water.
Karina and her husband endured a miscarriage during their first pregnancy. Doctors said she would not be able to conceive again. Devastated at the news, she turned to her faith and found that her life would be filled with sons and daughters. She endured years of the disappointment of not being able to have a baby by her husband, however, her faith remained strong.
Many women, or should I say couples, feel this pain and disappointment every year. I too have suffered this pain in my life.
When they made the decision to take invitro fertilization steps, they found that she was pregnant on her first visit. Nine months later, she gave birth to her first child, a little girl. In time, she is now the mother of four children; three girls and one boy.
Yea, that brings goosebumps to me and swells my heart. She practiced her faith in Heavenly father and listened to that little voice inside her. She did not give up but waited for God to bless her. In my experience with infertility, I gave up; I chose to forget about it. (Many of my family and friends advised me many times.) My husband and I decided to give it one more try to obtain a pregnancy. We made an appointment with an invitro doctor. A week before the appointment, I went to my doctor because of pregnancy symptoms. Anticipating the usual negative result, I sat in the room, awaited, and for the little stick window to show a dash. We, the nurses and staff who saw me through this, were happily surprised to see the positive +. That little red + was one of the best sights I’d ever seen. Again, this was one week before e the invitro specialist appointment. I was worried about how we would pay for it. We had enough money for one shot. So in essence, all my eggs were in one basket. September 1, 1995, was the day I found out about my little guy. He was born in April 1996. A beautiful blond-haired gem who looks like his father. On those two days, nine months apart from one another, I had my dreams come true.
Karina goes on to say that she and her husband divorced, and the incident devastated her to the core. Her thoughts, like most women, were of what was she going to do about her kids, as well as herself. She spent many days crying over the loss of her “perfect little family” She reports that she felt a sense of panic. She wondered if she and her husband were still sealed in heaven.
She talked with her bishop and he told her, “Heavenly Father has promised that we are sealed for all eternity, but our agency will determine if we will be together forever.”
Those words gave her comfort to know that she and her kids were still sealed together forever.”.
What is sealed on earth is also sealed in Heaven.
During the emotional process of mourning, she became angry, so much to the point of being a woman wondering if she were worthy to be in the temple, to be a child of God, what would it matter. How can you go to the temple with so much anger? I also did not want to go to the temple because I am divorced. I felt like I didn’t deserve it because I was supposed to be in a marriage still.
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we take the baptism covenants to attend the temple seriously. This is a place of ceremonious rituals and vows to Heavenly Father. Many religions have temples; we are no different from them. The choice to attend the temple is extremely important to us, it is a place where we can go to tune with the Holy Ghost and seek guidance from Heavenly Father. Katrina felt unworthy to attend the temple to find guidance because of her sadness, her feelings of doubt of her self-worth, and she was in her eyes a failure to her marriage.
Where did she turn for these feelings? Gratefully, she turned to her bishop. He and she talked and he gave her some more sound and peaceful advice.
“Satan doesn’t want us to go back to the temple. He wants to make us miserable and to feel unworthy.”
Is that not the truth concisely? Satan is the root of evil; he is the Prince of Pain, The Boogeyman in the Dark, The monster in the closet. His spreading of evil is what should bring us closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We should work to replace evil with goodness. If evil continues to grow, more and more destruction will follow.
“It was amazing when I entered the temple again. Going to the temple makes me feel better and stronger. Knowing that Heavenly Father is helping me be a mom that I’m not alone and that He is never going to abandon me or my family gives me so much strength. Now I make sure that my temple recommendation is always current. I know I just need to keep moving forward and get closer to Heavenly Father each day. This is the way I’m going to be with my children forever.”
So many people find comfort in a moment of silence in the temple, in a quiet closet in the home or the heart, and sitting still long enough to hear that whisper.
Children from a broken home suffer from the change. They need both parents to guide them through life’s challenges. I say to single moms, keep practicing the faith. Fathers in single-parent households practice their faith as well. Your kids are blessings from God; they are yours for a short time and need support.
“I always tell my kids that I am here for them. We’re going to church, we’re doing our scripture study, and we’re praying. We have an understanding of how important family is and that we need to forgive each other, support each other, and cheer each other on.”
At the end of the day, when it is all said and done, families need a scripture study routine in their lives. Kids, of all ages and maturity levels, need God, Jesus Christ, and a solid foundation with them. The church can give you and me the same peace as it did for Katrina and her children.
Making sure your faith is strong keeps the family going in a positive attitude toward the goodness in the heart. If we do our part, the Lord comes through on His blessings and promises. Knowing this is something that we can live by.
It is not our job to kill the devil, it’s our job to ignore him.
That is how it’s done.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~SSW~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I want to thank you for reading my article. I hope and pray that you find them to be thought-provoking as well as peacefully
Go with God in love and peace.
Sandi.
FYI: If you are interested in reading her paper, here is the link
