The words behind feminism
feminism = equality (It is really that simple)
I am a woman, and I believe in gender equality.
With a master's degree in political science, a bachelor's in teaching, experiences in advertising, social work and now writing, I have had myriad experiences that have shaped my thoughts and beliefs as a woman and a working professional. My growing up years in Kolkata, India where women are respected and not pushed to the side, honed my beliefs on equality. Married at the uncommon age of 32, without any eyebrows raised, now settled in Delhi with my family, I have now seen the other side.
Notoriously known as a patriarchal wing of India, where 95% of women feel unsafe according to a UN women-supported survey in Delhi, India. I have now truly seen it all. The undercurrent of understanding that women come second is accepted and adhered to within most families, workplaces and social structures.
The man comes first — the Father, the Son, and the Leader of the Household.
Even in these rapidly changing times when women are breaking every glass ceiling while many men quietly applaud, it is still not acceptable in a decent society to talk about gender equality.
A woman’s self-respect will often be ridiculed as pride or ego, and she will be put in her place. This disparity of clashing beliefs has challenged, fuelled and fanned the fire of ‘feminism’ that has always been within me.
Over the years, as a woman, my sense of self has often been wilfully disrespected, while my femininity has been mistaken for ‘weakness’ and my sense of dignity and decency for ‘meekness’. The ongoing narrative is, since I am shaped like a woman, I must be somehow lesser.
I have often been at the receiving end of sniggers, insults, and long-winded lectures either aimed at putting me in my place or showing me the error of my ways. However, I have held onto my belief that gender equality is a fight worth fighting for and our world will only truly flourish if balance is restored.
Is that my Utopian dream? I dare say, if you have come this far with me then it must be yours too.
Sure, Men and Women are different, but how does this difference translate into one being weaker than the other? We are simply 2 sides of the same coin with different skill sets. Wouldn’t it be foolish to compare a tiger and a gorilla and deem one weaker than the other? Different skill sets right?
A simple difference between men and women has been misused throughout history, by political agents with devious agendas to dominate, control and rule. A convoluted subterfuge for gaining power. This small group decided who was weak and who was powerful and the battles ensued. When two sections of the same society are pitted against each other, one has to emerge victoriously and the other has to stand vanquished. Right? There are no draws in battles.
Here the sensible question would be ‘Why should there be battles at all ?’ Doesn’t unity make more sense?? To build, create and prosper together?
Can an imbalanced vehicle with one powerful wheel and another deliberately punctured one, ever reach its destination? The answer is a loud NO!
Once we have this basic sociological debate out of the way, let us examine a glossary of terms associated with Feminism as so many terms are being thrown around in heated debates. Why is it so lauded and yet so abused?
Feminism
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is a desire for equality between the sexes and a belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It encompasses social, political and economic equality. Feminist activist Bell Hooks calls it “a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.”
Thus a new movement took birth and gathered strength as more women realized their potential and wanted to take back their power. The crumbs, a patriarchal society had cast towards her were no longer enough.
The feminist movement, also called the women’s liberation movement, was simply a demand for equality for a marginalized section of society, in this case, it happened to be women.
This revolutionary wave began in the early 20th-century western world but was launched formally in 1848, at the Seneca Falls Convention. Three hundred men and women rallied to the cause of equality for women, with a demand for women’s suffrage and property rights.
Soon the debate expanded to include issues such as reproductive rights, maternity leave, equal pay, equal job opportunities, domestic and sexual violence. The movement began to take a radical turn as more women sought liberation from the ‘domesticated profiling’ they had been categorized under.
Sexism
It means to stereotype and discriminate against women based on gender. Any expression, act, word, label or gesture, is sexist if it is based on the notion that some persons, most often women, are0 inferior based on gender.
The Council Of Europe, through its human rights channel, runs a brilliant awareness campaign on Sexism — See it. Name it. Stop it.
Misogyny
Defined as an ingrained dislike and hatred towards women. Earlier it was just a radical accusation, now it’s everywhere, creeping into conversations, social media posts, and popular culture. As our world seeks to politically correct itself, it faces opposition through such terms which exposes the extreme duality of our society. It is also known as the cornerstone term for the #MeToo Movement which rocked our already askew world.
Misandry
Described as the hatred, dislike and mistrust of men. This term has often been used to fan the misplaced popular notion that Feminism is a cloaked version of Misandry. Women who call themselves feminists, are basically man-haters who want to wield power over men. To say this is to oversimplify, discredit and abuse the very tenet that has granted us our freedom, our free will and our right to life.
Patriarchy
It is loosely defined as a society controlled by men in which the oldest male is the leader of the family. So the male predominates in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of the property. Immediately the other half of society i.e. women, get relegated to the position of ‘being controlled’.
Patriarchy deems this control essential because women are categorized as weak, and incapable of making sensible decisions or leading their families and communities. Hence, deemed the more powerful of the two, the men must safeguard the woman’s best interests, protect her and secure her future.
The Irony of Patriarchy
Now the question arises, who does she need to be protected from??
The ridiculous answer to that question is from the man himself!!
So in all absurdity, men make these rules for women to protect them from men themselves? As we have been told countless times by our male protectors — “We know how other men think so please do as we say.” Such words are uttered with annoyance, exasperation, or even irritation in privileged societies, but in the less privileged ones such solicitude takes the shape of violence, coercion and brutality.
The ludicrous irony is that Patriarchy is based on a Farce! It has been fed as fodder to women, through the ages to render them weak, confused, devoid of confidence and robbed of their power.
There are abundant examples through time as proof, that if women are ‘allowed’ to reach their full potential, they have straddled every kind of success. Women have succeeded as warriors, leaders, scholars, scientists, inventors, financial wizards, artists and just to name a few.
She has many more feathers in her cap, she can tolerate great pain to give birth to new life, she can multitask, she has a better understanding of emotions, she has a stronger immune system and even sees more colors than man! So how the hell has patriarchy managed to convince us that we are the weaker sex?!
From this arises a feeling of mistrust about rubbish theories, women have been fed throughout time. As women began to get a sense of their power, they began to realize their potential. Every time the glass ceiling was shattered, the power grew and more and more little girls grew up dreaming of becoming presidents, astronauts and sportspeople along with being princesses and fairies. Women wanted suffrage, jobs, independence, education, and rights over their own bodies.
Modern-Day Feminism
My Feminism has evolved into my daughter’s Feminism, both aspiring for an Equal World but perhaps in their own distinctive ways. My defensive stance has progressed to a much more inclusive, global and open-minded dialogue of the new generation. My daughter, an advocate of girl empowerment, is a champion of the fact that boys have had a raw deal too. They have had to project all this unnecessary machismo, virility and valor, goaded and forced by a nervous society on the brink of losing their control.
As more and more men stand up for gender equality, slowly our imbalanced society rights itself. There is hope, as discussions on equal pay, equal representation, abortion rights, divorce laws, peppers daily conversations, objections are raised if lines are crossed, and unacceptable behavior is called out, as it should be.
It is a long hard path ahead but as awareness proliferates, and the gender gap narrows, we hope for a world that is better aligned.
Today, I bow my head in gratitude to the generations of women who banded before me, and raised their voices against injustices, so I wouldn’t have to suffer. As my turn, I stand holding hands with my generation of amazing women to say this stops with me so that the younger generations have a better chance. I humbly realise, how much courage it takes. Tomorrow, I hope to see men and women working together in unison towards a better future.
Yes. I am a woman and I believe that women and men were created equal and they have every right to live exactly equal lives.
