Things People Don’t Understand about Only Child
“They’re just taking advantages of what their parents do”
Kind of statement is usually found to describe only-child’s lifestyle. Born as single child is a precious God’s favor as we don’t even ask Him about that right before we were born in this beautiful world. We are merely a normal person like others but somehow people are looking at us as effortless persons who are just getting money and a good treatment from our parents, something which supposed to be done by every single parent across the globe; not only for those who have only one son/daughter. This stigma is found almost every part of the world, either in Eastern or Western. I have talked with lot of single child from diverse background and various family social class, I found that actually we’re just same, it’s common for us to be framed by that stigma. I honestly do not deny that some of us are treated this way, even I have no complete percentage data whether it is major or minor, I personally saw if he/she asked for a hundred dollar stuff, parent would buy it for him/her.
what I really want to share here is not about changing people’s stigma as it contains facts I can’t deny, but it is about another side of only child people do not understand or perhaps, they never know it. And also I can not change someone’s point of view. Thus, these are what I can only share about.
as an only child who raised in a strict Eastern and Religious culture I grow up as independent boy, something that my parent really wanted to. An independent only child figure I got from my Mom, she is also an only child of my grandparent. being an only child is a complex challenge, it is misinterpreted by people sometimes, in fact I am neither selfish nor anti-social person. This also made me (and also every only child worldwide) to survive in every circumstances cause we don’t have someone to rely on like those who have elder brother or sisters. If we talk about condition, something that people can not forecast and no data that likely to describe what our future would look like, an only child must struggle hardly to solve various life challenges that are more complex than today. We realize our parent would be older day by day and that is main reason why do we have to do by ourselves. When I was 17, my mom asked me to solve few banking, financial and insurance administration tasks in order to teach me how to face it by myself in the future and I did. she taught me step by step and practically examples not just theoretical textbook.
another side of an only child behavior that people actually know it but do not really emphatic is we are lonely. how much money we have do not guarantee we live happily — not only for an only child. that is why I can’t deny when someone says that we got bucks of money from our family, I have to say “Yes we do” but happiness is not measured by dollars, for me. perhaps it is usual for everyone in this world to be alone and feel lonely a whole day, it may last for couple weeks. but have you ever looked at only child when we are alone? being lonely doesn’t mean we talk to nobody, we talked a lot of people, our parent are taking care of us, our friends love us. loneliness comes from deepest heart, such a feeling I can clearly describe which gradually strikes us. no wonder we actually have a lot of mate but we still feel lonely.
behaving badly and arrogant are something really wrong about us. it is reasonable as we usually really tend to get something we want to have. what we do is actually efforts to cure our loneliness, we buy stuffs and do many things. this phenomenon occurs in wide range of age, no matter how old you are, sense of only child would never change, you would behave as you were 9. thus, it seems like we are childish. in fact it is our character, something that everyone have. if you loved spicy food since you were 9, it would never change when you are 70, as simple as this. I have ever met 66 year-old only child, how she interact and her lifestyle is similar by 20 year-old only child. basically I have no real data nor have psychological literature to prove this related phenomenon but it exists in real world.
being an only child is great, no matter how many challenges you would face and what people are saying about you. God knows us, parent know us, stay strong for those who are only child read this article. the entire world may patronize yourself but don’t let anyone take you down even a second. your life is yours. Thank you.
