Three tips to let go of the past!
Past is an interesting place to visit once a while. One can learn from their mistakes, one can relive memories for a while and then eventually they have to move on for good. However, past is not a place where you want to dwell. To explain in terms of computers or a digital world, memory from past is more like a pointer in time used to solve some present day problem and once the problem is solved, you have to release that memory for good. That’s what past is.
Recently, I visited a friend and she showed me one dedication I wrote a decade earlier and that page mentioned few names from that time period and my feelings towards those characters. As I look back, I don’t even remember those faces anymore and my current feelings are exact opposite of what I used to feel at that time, in fact, I feel nothing for some of them. It made me laugh at my juvenile thought of considering those folks of utmost importance and at the same time it made me feel proud because, I learned my life lessons so perfectly that these people were essential at that time but not only their presence but also their memories are not at all required in my present. It showed me, how better I have became when it comes to the matters of love and friendship. The matter of loving myself.
If you are stuck & want to let go of the past, I got three things to share with you as follows.
Life is all about purpose.
If you look closely, life is all about purpose. We are here to fulfill some purpose. Our role might be considered as of hero or as of villain depending upon circumstances, mutual understanding and maturity level of the next person, however, what’s important is — we are on some sort of mission, good or bad, it doesn’t matter but our actions are constantly shaping our and someone else’s future. Let me share with you my story about someone who was close to my heart.
I met a girl somewhere in 2009 and I never thought for coming many years she will become most important part of my life. Back then my English was weak and she handed me over my very first English novel. She inspired me to read more. We used to have philosophical discussions and my spiritual journey found a new direction, all thanks to her.
But we grew distant as time passed and parted ways by 2014. We haven’t spoken since and I have no desire to communicate because, we both fulfilled our purpose in each others life and now we got nothing to share. That time has gone and my present day challenges are beyond her reach.
She made me more conscious of my inner spirituality, she pushed me on a path to improve my English so that one day I will write my own stories somewhere because, it was my destiny to write and nobody could inspire me the way she did. Her actions shaped my future unknowingly.
Eventually, we fell apart. I knew circumstances would never change no matter what I do and her contributions to my life were bigger than one wrong turn. It was time to let go. We were not on the same page anymore. We did not need each other anymore. Our time was over and it was time to move ahead, cause my purpose was somewhere else and so did hers.
At present, there are plenty of people in my life and I am sure, they all are doing one heck of a job to shape my destiny. Our actions not only shapes our future but unknowingly we push other people in the direction of their destiny as well.
You don’t know the future.
At times we wish we could go back in past and make some amends but our present does not provide any such possibility. Some people feel deep sadness whereas some people regret past wrongdoing. My observation tells me, everything falls into the right place. Time is always right. Even bad situations are carefully crafted to make us stronger or to fix something which we won’t do otherwise. Cause, that’s what future demands.
I know a friend who had huge crush on some guy but they never got together. There were days when she thought — why it did not worked?. Fast forward few years and one day she came to know that that fellow died in pandemic. It was shocking. For years she was asking one question, if everything was so perfect then why it did not happen and one day she found the answer in the most devastating way possible — cause, it was never meant to be & for her own well being. Even a thought of being with someone who will eventually die young is terrifying!
My personal experience is similar. Whenever I look back, present day me is so sure that none of my teenage crushes would be my present day choice to be my life partner or even a crush for that matter. I have changed so much that my choices, likes and dislikes are way different than who I was some time back.
And that’s why looking into the past or fantasizing about the future is a terrible idea. You don’t know the future. You consciously has to believe your path is into the future and your present actions will aid into building the one. Don’t think much. Don’t analyze beyond the necessity. Just be yourself and keep going ahead. Time will tell you how everything turned out fine.
Nothing is perfect!
At times, we know, we know better than the next person but that does not mean that person is wrong or not intelligent. Every person is on their own journey from past many lifetimes on this Earth and with each birth they are learning new lessons and evolving at their own pace. Which means- in current life or in some past life we too went through those struggles which the person next to us is going through right in this moment and their learning will only happen through their own personal experience. So, all one can do is advise, however, what that person will choose to do is completely out of our control. Their life, their choice!
This is simply because their upbringing, personal values, past experiences, present circumstances & emotions are way different than that of ours.
So, the point is- there is no defined timeline to learn in the life. Everyone is given an opportunity to learn as and when it’s their turn. So, expecting perfect timing is unrealistic.
Nothing is perfect, everything is chaotic, no matter how big or small the system is but somehow it ends up balancing out everything.
So, if you are having some trouble in your life, keep these three points in mind. I hope, this will sooth your racing mind. After all — your path is in the future!
