To Write a Book
On Football, Philosophy and Life
To write a book — wow — what a process that is! It takes dedication, time. A lot of it. It takes a vision and, above all, the right equipment. Only with a shield forged of resilience can you undertake that path and protect yourself from the world, people, environment. Even when there is no clear direction, even when everything seems pointless, you need to keep breaking walls with your lance made of hope. In other words, you need to get some of that Cristiano Ronaldo ego. You need to want it and need it as if your happiness depends on it. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and say, You are the best!
But then a time comes when the path means nothing anymore, when the vision feels futile, and your armour is falling apart under your own fears. The shield is getting leaky and your lance blunt. At one point, I looked at my script, and I saw ideas that I have outgrown in the meantime. That Cristiano Ronaldo ego turned against me and I started doubting. What if I don’t deliver? What if it is not good enough? Ego always has two faces. Always! That same thing that makes you on top of the world makes you miserable in the next moment. I wanted to drop everything and bin the script.
What is the point then, I asked myself. If the best in me always brings the worst in me. I was stuck in the absurdity of the world of duality.
I had to stop for a second and let go of control. I broke my lance made of hope, and, along with it, I dismissed the ideas of how the book should look like in the end. I just had to go with the tide. There is something deep in us that is beyond mind-created concepts of good and bad, beyond the realm of ego. It is the joy of creating for the sake of creating, with no particular goal in mind. To get to the awareness that there is nothing to prove to anybody and that you can’t find your happiness in the future is to realise everything is complete already. Letting go of thoughts and accepting the moment one happens to be in makes space for inspiration to simply flow through you. In other words, I had to be Ronaldinho — the one who drops the heavy armour, puts a smile on his face and dances. He who makes the life a game.
I realised that all those chapters that had made me doubt have been the crucial part of the process because, without them, I wouldn’t have had the understanding I have today. Yes, as time passes, you change some perspectives, new experiences shape the way you see the world, and some chapters seem as if they don’t belong to you anymore. But, hey, the book isn’t like an article you write in a day. The book witnesses you in different periods. It watches you grow. You watch yourself grow through the book. You see, back at the beginning of 2020, when I started writing my recently published book ‘Beyond Cristiano’, it was a different world out there. Everything has changed in the meantime. We have all changed. My ideas started growing in directions I couldn’t even imagine. My idea of life has changed. My idea of football has changed. Of course, I couldn’t have known how the book would turn out to be!
And then, suddenly I saw the book in the new light, and I appreciated that unbelievable path I had undertaken. I appreciated all the victories and miseries it brought me. It is all part of learning, growing, evolving. Of the process! You appreciate the holes in your shield because without those holes, you never see the new light.
I just had to dance.
Then, as time was passing, I would be coming with new ideas, new tabs without which I couldn’t wrap up the jigsaw. Ohh, that is why I couldn’t finish the book earlier in the midst of those doubts, I realised. Some parts of it just couldn’t be forced.
And so a day comes when all that inspiration needs some structure and when the script needs to become a book. That is when you need to regain the full control over the process and dedicate yourself to the final product. I had to start thinking about editing, publishing, audience, marketing and all the other things that would make me look a respectable author. Yes, I had to become Cristiano Ronaldo again and expose myself to both gratification and suffering — that are inseparable from the egoic state of consciousness. However, an occasional dance move would bring me back that Ronaldinho smile, and I would be ready to experience all those emotional states simply as a part of the creative process.
I picked up my shield and lance, and delivered the goddamn book.
Siuuuuu.
You can buy the book ‘Beyond Cristiano’ about Ronaldo and Ronaldinho states of consciousness on the following links:
Shop UK: https://shorturl.at/iwS46
Shop EU: https://shorturl.at/uxT04
Shop US: https://shorturl.at/bhDJL
Cheers.
