Un(keeping) up with the Joneses
Constant comparison can destroy you financially
There’s a common held belief that you are who you mix with, so if you’re friends are drug dealers then most likely you are a drug dealer too. If you’re friends all value status and owning nice things, then it’s very likely that you are this way inclined also.
Social Media is a killer:
The constant look at me, look at me, LOOK AT ME! As you scroll everyone is in the perfect relationships, with the perfect kids who are achieving, achieving, achieving and going on those amazing holidays that you can only dream about…or can you go on one? Stick it on the plastic…go on, you can pay it off later. NO!! Don’t do it, psychologically many of us find sacrificing in the future far easier than sacrificing now. Work on the opposite. For me, I check into Social Media once a week — and I’m definitely not missing out.
Back to your friends…
Your friends maybe living in the now — yolo philosphy. How many of your friends have nice cars? Did they all pay cash for them? Do they need the fancy car or are they just look at me,status symbols? Can you cope with driving an older paid for car. Will your kids be happy? Truth is, deep down, your kids won’t give a shit. They want their parents to spend time with them and will learn a valuable lesson of managing money and the shallowness of having nice stuff you can’t afford it. For the people who can genuinely afford it e.g. pay cash for Tesla — good on you. One day I hope to do the same.
Talking about money is a taboo subject for many people. We don’t ask each other how much they earn, even if they are in jobs such as teaching where the salaries are in the public domain. But we do show money off! At the bar — it’s my round (look how generous I am) — this increases social status far more than privately giving to charity.
Financial success = life success
This is the way so many people are conditioned to believe. The nice car, the big house, the flash clothes, the expensive holiday — you are successful. Are you a good person? That’s not success, anyone can do that — or can they??
Don’t crumble
It’s easy to give in and reward yourself because after all you work hard right? Delaying that gratification can be so powerful and will let you lead the life tomorrow that you want today. The difference? You can do it without being a slave to work and on your own terms.
How do you unkeep with the Joneses?
Step One: Stop the jealousy — you may think it’s comparison but very often it’s jealousy. Who gives a shit about your friend’s nice house? Good for them — be happy for them but all it means is either their career or financially they are savvy. It doesn’t make them a good person. It just makes them a person. If you haven’t got the fancy car, the big house, the designer handbag it doesn’t make you a bad person.
Step Two: Live your life the way you want to. Set your own goals. If married set your joint goals. What do you want? What do you want to be remembered for? The stuff you have?
Step Three: Say no to friends!! Can you afford to go out this weekend? No? Then say NO!! You can stay in or offer a cheaper alternative. What’s wrong with meeting up with friends at home???
Step Four: Make your money work for you the way you want it to. Take pride in the savings and investments you are making. Take pride in paying off consumer debt. And remember it’s never too late, I only woke up to this in my 40s, see the article below I’ve written on this if you are in your 40s+
Step Five: Give yourself 48 hours before making a purchase. You will know after 48 hours whether or not you really need it. Chances are you won’t. Just to be clear I’m talking about things such as new clothes, new phone — not essential items!
In a world where we so bombarded to conform and show off how well we are doing it’s not easy but wasting your money isn’t liberating, it’s frustrating. You’ve heard that from a “Jones” in name only….
