“When Good God Allows Rape” — a Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza Story on How Forgiveness Heals Her
The first short story that made me say “what the f*ck” and “this doesn’t make sense” like a dozen times
The night
Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza, a religious girl, was raised in a devoted Christian family; raped by seven men in a single night when she was 15.
It was Friday, February 7, 1992. An ordinary day in the Philippines. Joy was enjoying her time with some friends. Their parents were out on a missionary event when suddenly, a gang of ten people followed her uncle to her house and robbed them.
She was in her parent’s room when it started. She heard something was odd,
“our floor was made out of wood and we never wear shoe or sandals in the house, so when I heard the squeaking sound of rubber hitting the wood, I knew something was wrong, so I pray for protection to Jesus”
But she wasn’t able to hide for long before the robber forced his way into the room.
The robber had pointed a gun onto her face, wanting to kill her.
At the time, she was calm and she thought,
“I have given my life to Jesus since I was nine. If I were to die today, I know where I’m going.”
The first “what the f” comes out of my mouth. Like, how can a 15 y.o girl think like that? How great do her parents impart the value since she was a kid?
If I were her in the situation, I would probably try my best to fight against him.
Even though in my unconsciousness, I know I would never win, but at least I might give myself a chance to escape.
The Holy Spirit
But then, because she was so calm and compelling, the robber changed his mind from shooting her to raping her.
Amid the pleasure felt by the robber and the agony she felt, she thought of one phrase from the bible:
“The Lord is my shepherd…” — Psalm 23 : 1
It was calming to her, felt like her body was covered by the grace of God.
Another “what the f” comes out of my mouth with the following “it doesn’t even make sense.” She was being raped, for God’s sake!
How could she be so calm and even thought of that?
I know that the verse “The Lord is my shepherd,” means that if God let something happen, then He knows that you’re going to be okay because He won’t abandon any of His sheep if they are in danger.
But, come on! How the f??
Then the night went on, and seven men raped her.
But she said it was like an out-of-body experience, she felt so calm, and it was surreal.
She felt the Holy Spirit possessed her body.
The robber even trusted her to go out when one of her friend’s parents came and ring the bell to check on them.
She was so calm that she could whisper to them:
“you know, we’re being robbed”
Before then, she acted out like everything was okay and said bye-bye to them.
The pain
The entire experience was so calming to her; she was afraid, she was in pain, but not as an ordinary person would be.
The first torment in her heart started when she saw her friend’s bags. She remembered that her friends had come to her house to have a night, but then an unexpected tragedy happened and she felt sorry.
The second one was later at night when police officers had already surrounded her house; her parents stood there, waiting for her;
Fist and teeth clenched, her mother pressing her pouch to her armpit, tears began to well up in their eyes, knowing but still couldn’t believe what has happened to her daughter.
Joy came in front of them and calmly said,
“Mom, Dad, I was raped.”
They broke down in tears.
She felt excruciating pain, knowing how hard it must have been for her parents to hear that news.
Again, another “what the f” comes from me. Like it doesn’t make sense (again), how can she be so calm telling her parents the news. Even more, how come she could still think of other people’s feelings when the one who had just gone through a nightmare was her?
If it wasn’t because of God’s grace, I don’t know what is.
The last one was when her older brother heard the news and broke down in tears.
He regretted having gone from the house and couldn’t protect his sister.
But for Joy, she thought of it as a blessing.
She knew if her brother were there, he would fight to the death for her, and there would be a massacre. She was grateful that her older brother and parents weren’t there, and they were saved.
The forgiveness
She said that there are two things that allow her to forgive her rapist.
First, on the night after the tragedy happened, she went to her room and pray.
“God, I don’t know this happened, but if you allow this, then I choose to trust you.
I choose to believe in your plan.
And I choose to believe that if you allow something to happen, then you have a bigger purpose”
She chooses to believe in God.
The second one was when she remembered another Bible verse, Rome 3: 23,
“For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God”
She was reminded that all of us have sinned.
There’s no bigger or smaller sin, no “I’m the good sinner, and you’re a worse sinner.”
In the face of sin, we’re all the same.
I wouldn’t have believed that she had genuinely forgiven the rapist if I didn’t saw her interview first hand.
It’s really shown how calm and free she is when she tells her story of how she was raped and how sad she was when telling the story about how her friends, parents, and brother felt about it.
Her story inspired me to forgive more; to see the situation from another perspective than “me being hurt,” to see that “we’re all have hurt others,” to know that we have all fall into the pit of sin and God have saved us all without any exceptions.
Hi! I’m Michael. A certified mindfulness practitioner (certified by Achology), writing about mindfulness & self-growth tips on Medium & Instagram.
I hope you find this article helpful and impact your life.
Have a blissful day!
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