Why I hate job hunting
“Job descriptions make me feel like a product, not a person.”
I feel outside myself as I stare at my computer screen.
I’ve been browsing job postings for hours now, reading through ‘required skills’ and about different ‘workplace cultures’, racking my brain to figure out how my myriad life experiences fit into a narrow set of job requirements.
Very quickly I am completely depleted of energy — borderline feeling depressed.
At first, I can’t quite pin down the reason. Is it the weather? Winter is on its way, I’m probably lacking vitamin D and a bunch of dark clouds just rolled in.
Then it hits me that this is just how I feel every time I’m job hunting. In the three years since I’ve entered the job market, the experience of looking for a job has, without fail, been dreadful. I’d probably put it in my top five worst experiences.
But why is it so bad? Does everyone feel this way?
I’ve come to think, probably yes.
From personal experience, job hunting quite literally sucks the life out of me. I think a big reason for this is that job descriptions make me feel like a product, not a person.
And to a company or a head-hunter, that is quite literally what I am — a product, that is.
As I scroll through online job boards, I begin to see myself that way too. I have certain personality trails, or skill sets and I ‘market’ myself to a target audience — potential employers. Very quickly, I start feeling like a shell of a human being.
Employers are looking for a set of skills and attributes that can help make them a profit. They are not looking for the real ‘me’ — the ‘me’ who is simply a human being who thinks, feels, laughs, yearns — and yes, also, works.
Why have we made the experience of work — something that will take up most of our free time for decades of our short time on this planet — so soul-sucking?
So, no matter how well-suited I might be for a job, the descriptors used in a posting — “driven, organized, creative” — seem to be describing someone who is not me, someone who I will never be.
Not to say that I don’t embody some of those adjectives, it’s just that it’s all so superficial. Superficiality is draining. I think being genuine is one of my best qualities, and it’s something I look for in other people. It’s a quality that just makes life infinitely better.
But when you’re writing a CV or cover letter, being genuine can only get you so far. So, you’d better start using those ‘key words’ in the job description and ‘demonstrating’ how you have the required skill set. (*sigh*)
Capitalism and jobs
In a sense, job hunting highlights the capitalist values that drive much of our society: individualism, competition and profit. You are an independent unit that must be self-sufficient in this world by finding a job. To find a job, you must compete against others and prove that you are the best possible applicant — meaning the applicant that will generate the most revenue for your employer. It’s so very alienating.
This type of mentality does not foster sincerity, kindness and genuine connection. People have to overblow their CVs and put on a ‘professional mask’ (a quasi alternate person) geared to their potential employers. And once you’re on the job, you’re still ‘competing’ against your colleagues, vying for a promotion or just fighting to stay employed.
As I write this, I ask myself: Why have we made the experience of work — something that will take up most of our free time for decades of our short time on this planet — so soul-sucking?
Job hunting will likely never be easy for me, but my hope is that somehow the process will get better with time. I hope companies and society at large will start valuing humanity more than money. This will allow us to have more fulfilling, authentic lives where we get to participate in activities we enjoy, help our communities and experience more balance.
In the end, I am simply a person who will do their best to learn on the job, who will be kind to their coworkers, and who actually will work hard if needed. But I’m also someone who marvels at the beauty of a sunny day, who cares about doing what’s right and who wants a semblance of work-life balance.
I want my employers to see me that way — as a human — not just a cheery, neatly packaged professional product generating high productivity.
