Why the Art of Listening Never Worked for Me
I reject the most basic need to hear and be heard.
Anyone who’s a bit sensible can vouch that listening and empathizing are the best moral and social tools.
Who in their senses wouldn’t want to be heard and reciprocate the feeling?
Listening, responding, and being receptive are a few qualities that comply with the basic human need.
Who in their senses wouldn’t want to be heard, to be seen, and to be valued?
However, I contradict. Wholeheartedly.
I agree, there is an immense spiritual, and emotional benefit to it. If you ace, you climb on a higher rung of humanity. And wow! You aren’t gallivanting on the planet! You’ve just discovered a higher purpose only by listening.
Eureka!
And now you are entitled to ‘Moksha’, in a snap of the finger.
Whatever the lucrative offers are: I fail to comprehend.
Because Listening undeniably facilitates speaking. Speaking in turn facilitates complaining. Unfortunately, evolution has failed to give us a sort of elephant-like flap to close our ears, like eyelids. We close our eyelids when we choose to ignore our surroundings.
A thunderous applause for Natural Selection!
What could’ve possibly gone bad with this Mechanism called Natural Selection, if at all S/he(take the gender for NS at your whim), would have been kind enough to give an extra flap-like door on the ears? A bit elephant-like with voluntary movement.
It would’ve given us, the petty humans, the power to control incoming complaints. The power to steer clear of the garbage, which isn’t required by our mind, psyche, and brain.
Praise to the person/s who included the feature to receive or ignore the real incoming calls in the phone calls.
How I wish, there was a similar feature for incoming complaints, unsolicited advice, and the yawn-inducing lectures. It could be nipped in the but.
However, for complaints, Whitney Goodman has a great deal to say, “Complaining is something we all do despite our best efforts to quit the so-called bad habit. This is because it is one of the main ways that we bond with others and create emotional connections. It’s an effective way to share how you feel, connect, and evoke empathy in the listener.
I heartily disagree Ms. Goodman. It isn’t the way to evoke empathy but to evoke a nerve-blasting tirade, to evoke brain-frying arguments, and to evoke jugular-choking silence.
Trust me, listening to the wrong people has never evoked empathy for the human beings I’ve known.
Because I’ve heard you also say, “Each person has their own threshold for complaining. You may notice that you can empathize or listen to someone up to a certain point, but when you’re done, you’re done”.
So, I am done with the complaints, tirades, and allegations that put me in the spotlight to listen.
I am done. Because I am done.
