Why We Fail Our New Years Resolutions
People don't change overnight.
A mixing pot of motivation, desire, and focus was ready to pop along with the champagne eagerly being passed out as I made the promise to change my life.
This year I was inspired. This year felt different. "New year, new me!" Said the crowd, glasses kissed, responding in song to the world's joy celebrating the New Year.
Killed champagne towers on tables accompanied the hungover crowd that suffered on the floor. Damaged inspiration and motivations could be seen on the face of the realized as they remembered their resolutions started today.
Note: I know goals and resolutions aren't technically the same thing, but I would say many resolutions fall into the goal category, so I will address them both as the same.
My Own Journey And Opinions
I struggled throughout my young life to accomplish my goals. Unfortunately, the research I found for this article was usually poor, old, or inconsistent with other research I found. Because of that, this article won't have any references but will be on what I have learned works for me.
For years I have been reading self-help books to try and understand what makes a person successful in their attempts at a goal. I learned quickly that only about 10% was helpful and not repetitive. But, I still learned a lot, not because I took everyone's word for it, but because I stayed open-minded and didn't blindly follow. I also had a system I used to try to improve myself:
- I observed a problem with myself.
- I read books/articles and self-reflected to develop a hypothetical solution for that problem.
- Without changing anything else, I tested the hypothetical solution to see if I improve.
- If I made improvements and felt as though I had grown, I would adopt the practice into my life and continue to track my results.
Basically, I was using the scientific method to figure out what worked.
Start Today Never Tomorrow
Goals that are delayed for tomorrow are not goals but dreams. When you rationalize starting on a date in the future, the goal is currently unrealistic, or you're not serious about it.
It's okay to have dreams, but defining dreams as goals without putting in the effort will only result in damaged confidence, making future success even more difficult.
Goals Are Too Broad
To be successful in your goals, you need to be specific about what you want and how you will get it. Coming up with a vague idea of how you will accomplish and what you will accomplish is one of the steps to turning a dream into a goal, but it still isn't a goal.
"You can't hit a target if you don't know what it is." — Tony Robbins
Know the numbers and when you want to accomplish a goal. Don't rush yourself because good things come with time. Develop the habit, but avoid burning yourself out in the first week. Instead, come up with a realistic plan, and make sure you have enough free time for yourself.
One Thing at A Time
Many of my resolutions failed because I tried to add too much to my schedule. If you find yourself with a dozen resolutions that all start on January 1st, that is too much. Focus on one goal at a time, but two is also acceptable. Once you know your goals stay consistent with them until they are strong habits.
Eventually, when you feel like you have developed a habit and you're ready to add a new goal, wait another two weeks.
Many times when I had developed a habit, and It felt like a regular part of my life, I would convince myself it's okay to relax, and before I even realized what I did wrong, I lost the habit. So don't let your guard down and lose the progress you have made.
Rely on Intrinsic Motivation Instead of Extrinsic Motivation.
This tip is the opposite of what most self-help books suggest but has been one of the most significant changes I made.
When you make a goal and keep it to yourself, it becomes what you want out of life. You can accomplish your goals assuming you take those steps, not because of an image you want to represent yourself as, but because you're passionate.
Conclusion
Find your method of discovering what works for you. Of course, all of us are different, and the same approach won't likely work for everyone. But, if you stay aware of yourself and note what doesn't and does work, you can find your solution. It may take a few years, but those few years will come and go whether or not you do it. So you might as well.
“You may delay, but time will not.”
― Benjamin Franklin
