You can’t force a person to do something
Once you know what the person is, you should treat them accordingly
When you do a favour for someone — solicited or not, you shouldn’t expect the person you are doing a favour for to return the favour. If you expect the person to reciprocate, you will be disappointed.
It’s easier to not expect from a stranger than from a family member or a good friend or even your partner.
And having expectations is being human; we are not Gautum Buddh. We are mortals who have expectations.
But having expectations from someone to do their part in a relationship is like expecting everyone to pass an exam, although you can only be sure about your preparation.
You can only do your part in a relationship and cannot force the other person to do their part.
You have a close friend who always calls you and meets you when that friend is feeling low but isn’t there when you need that friend. Maybe, you will ignore the pattern — I there and you absent pattern — a few times.
And maybe you will feel bad about thinking this way: what my friend is doing for me? Am I being selfish? But these questions will naturally come to your mind when a relationship becomes one-sided.
Friend
If the person is a friend, you need to broach the subject with your friend. You must express how you feel, and if your friend doesn’t accept, you must end the friendship without hesitation.
Because if you don’t, that friend of yours will keep coming back to you, and every time, something inside will remind you that the one-sidedness isn’t fair. You will squander your time and energy thinking about it or hoping that your friend will change. But that will never happen.
Friendship is easier to end, but what if one-sidedness or “the other person taking you for granted thing” exists within your family or your partner does this.
Family Member
If it’s a family member, you need to talk with them, but if they deny it, you need to have as less conversation/interaction with them as possible.
You need to accept that the person isn’t going to change and if possible, get out of that family environment.
And if that person is your partner, you need to bring up the matter with your partner. You must be upfront about how you feel: you should convey to your partner that they are not there when you need them, and the relationship has become “one person only giving and the other person only receiving affair”.
If your partner promises — most of the time, it will be hollow — to change, give them a chance, but if they don’t change, you need to get out of that relationship. Period. Remember, the longer you are in a one-sided relationship, the more harmful it will be for your mental health.
And getting mad at someone because they are not doing their part can bring the worst out of you. You need to understand that you can’t force anyone to do something.
