Can rejections from unlikely sources be turned on their heads….you bet ya!

It’s bad when the online Tarot Card Lady refuses your read, refunds your money and won’t say why, yet that is exactly what she did to me.

Sheyla Ayn

Published in

Writers Guild

5 min readMay 6, 2019

But then I realized something….well, read and find out what.

Life can be so funny sometimes. The humor comes from all kinds of situations, yet sometimes you have to dig to find it, and even to see if there is something teachable from the moment.

That’s precisely what happened to me last year when I got rebuffed by the Tarot Card Lady.

Last year times were going really awful for me.

I was struggling with so many different challenges and decisions in my life, while still trying to dig out of several prior years of hardship.

So my daughter suggested I do a Tarot Card reading; normally I wouldn’t but it was an interesting idea.

It isn’t that I haven’t had a reading in the past but always on the cuff, always for fun and never intentionally thinking I would get any useful information.

Yet she mentioned that she had been referred by a friend to a lady online who does reputable Tarot Card Readings, and had, in fact, done one through her a few weeks back.

My daughter was totally impressed with what she was told, and within a few days of paying, she not only got the reading but was able to briefly speak with the reader.

“Sign me up,” I thought.

All I had to do was go to her website, fill out a form and pay $35.00. What could be simpler?

Knowing my daughter would only point me into a direction that she felt would benefit me, I was game.

I found the reader’s site and read all her pages; okay she appears up and up, what can go wrong?

Feeling confident, I went ahead and purchased a reading, choosing the multi-card session I felt would benefit me, and wrote in the message area what I was dealing with at that time and what information I was looking for.

Maybe my life was too awful; maybe what I was going through was more than she felt she could read or advise; maybe the fact I was feeling hopeless and close to collapse frightened her.

Or maybe what she did see frightened her away.

I will never know.

Three days after I sent in my request I found a refund of the $35.00 in my account with no explanation.

Heartbroken and perplexed, I emailed her directly several times asking why she would not or could not do my reading and what I got in return was nothing but silence.

I started wondering if I had imagined it all, just like being in a Doctor Who episode with “The Silence”; I hated not knowing.

Did she do my reading and find something awful? Did she find something so bad she could not tell me?

My mind, of course, took this all to the most crappy places, this was the perfect fertile ground for all sorts of speculations and rabbit holes; I became both pissed, paranoid, and worried.

I do believe some people have the gift.

But I also believe anyone who has the gift and is reputable would not leave me hanging without so much as an “I am sorry….I am sick and not doing readings right now” or “I am sorry…I can’t read you”, or “I am sorry….the cards I pulled are just too horrible for me to pass on to you”, or well, just say something.

I never did hear from her after three requests so I finally had to let it go. I even asked my daughter to reach out to her and nothing.

But then I realized something….I was putting way too much emphasis on looking for this future prediction, my future prediction or path instead of focusing on my current here and now.

As shitty as it was, I was really missing out on some important aspects of my life as I struggled through life, worrying too much about my future.

I finally forgave her and I moved on.

In a way, not knowing and not having any pre-knowledge was freeing and I didn’t expect that at all.

I had been so worked up in having a glimpse, of grasping at straws for my future, of having any grasp of what path I should follow, that I quit focusing on my here and now at that time.

By pinning too much on the past and worrying too much about the future, I was losing out on my present available time.

How often I lose out on the only time I have….the here and now, the present moment, the beautiful time I am given to do wondrous things because I worry too much?

Funny, it didn’t use to be this way.

No, in my past, I simply forged ahead without concern; getting older sure can cause havoc with your ‘confidence’ meter.

So I was worrying too much and on top of it all, I didn’t need the silence of a psychic to make it worse, and I had been letting her silence do just that.

No more. I don’t need her to add any additional baggage to my already overloaded and unbalanced shoulders.

Thank goodness for lessons learned and indignant Tarot Ladies.

I am moving, trying to live in the moment to the best of my unbalanced ability.

Will I falter…yes? Will I find days I simply can’t deal with my present moments…yes? Will there be days all I can think about is my unknown future…yes?

Yet at least I am aware of how worrying can cause such grief for both my future, yet mostly for my present moments. And that is a good, good thing.