How To Write A “Complaint” Post (With Dignity)
…two cents from a tiny fish in this vast blogosphere.
I joined a virtual content platform for Indian parents in 2016 (weird things we non-parents do) — where mothers (fathers were largely MIA) blogged about the challenges of raising kids in the 21st century.
Initially, it was all about mommy-bonding and (surprisingly!) listening to childfree- by- choice ones without judgment.
Then the tone changed.
Few contributors started sharing discords with in-laws, cracks in marriage, toxic colleagues.
Then the trend spread like wildfire.
Within two months, parental-bonding took back-seat and “whose life sucks more” gained momentum.
So I exited (and no-one missed me as usual).
Last time I checked in 2018, the platform shut shop.
I’ve pondered and came to two realizations:
a) we need to get things off the chest for the sake of sanity and finding like-minded folks.
b) blogging is the best tool to do so (next to talking to someone willing).
Yet, complaint-posts should be dignified, so that your reader take you as a stick in the mud.
But how?
Do it as if you’re “doing it for all”
I’ve two blogger friends — John Doe and Jane Doe.
While John writes about his day-to-day challenges as a bipolar, Jane runs a mommy blog.
It was all good until Jane started moaning in her posts about her — crumbling marriage, crappy spouse, tight monetary state, unruly teenage kids etc.
Topics that need a little more discretion — according to me.
But who am I?
Her blog, her choice.
At first her commenters “ooh”ed and “aah”ed. Eventually, the number dwindled.
John, on the other hand, is now on his way to building a community combating mental health stigmas.
He is writing a book on bipolar disorder as well, and raised some fund for it.
Two cents:
I’m not undermining Jane’s valid rants. But the issue is-
Nobody likes a chronic complainer.
Even if we know deep-down that — very less of life is about rainbows and sunshine.
In other words, once you’ve exposed “raw self” (and successfully pulled audience and stats doing so )through writing- make it inclusive.
Insert data, logic, and research. Ask about your readers.
Even if you’re not feeling genuine doing the latter.
As Kurt Vonnegut quoted —
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
Offer solutions
I used to follow few political writers in my homeland.
Now, I’ve stopped reading them at all.
Why?
For the last four years, a right-wing government is helming my country.
And the writers, while exerting their legit democratic rights kept criticizing the government — offered zilch outputs.
Two cents:
When you’ve any expertise in any field, propose way-outs (in after-thoughts), when the complaining is over.
Are you a vegan blogger who promotes that way of life?
Then inform about low-cost protein alternatives for peeps who can’t afford tofu, quinoa, or soy milk.
Or,
Are you annoyed about why everybody doesn’t get up at 4.00 AM and do “10 productive things” prescribed by you?
Hint: Many cities have hellish traffic and it takes 2.5 (or more) hours for commuters to reach office daily.
They don’t have the luxury of — taking that cold shower, writing journal or hitting gym.
Instead, suggest how to squeeze time out to do “improvement” stuff.
Like it’s done here-
Why should I read about your anguish if there is not something in it for me (no get-rich hoax please)?
Some would say- for compassion.
However, compassion has a notorious tendency of being worn away after a point (personal POV).
So think before write (note-to-self).
Here’s one of my favorite quotes on thinking:
“Poirot,” I said. “I have been thinking.”
“An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.”
