The Tale of the Dead Heart
Let me tell you about my story. I’m dead, a dead heart to be exact. But just like your favorite TV show about creepy dead people, not all dead things remain that way. I’m not walking just to be clear, but I’m a thumping dead heart. And just like them, I just function now. No more feelings, no more drama. Zilch.
But how did I exactly end up this way? That’s what I’m about to tell you. It was just another day, a Sunday to be exact. I have been sick for a few months, but nothing that a dose of hug or two can’t cure. The pain didn’t necessarily went away but it was enough to lessen it. But that day, it was different, I knew it as soon as the body I’m in woke up.
“Hey lungs, is there something wrong?” I asked my buddy who was closest to me. “I don’t know. It’s a bit hard to get oxygen in since last night.” He answered. How we are able to talk to one another, is something I can’t explain, it’s part of the world’s mystery so don’t focus on that yeah?
I wanted to ask brain what’s going on but we’re not particularly in good terms. We always get into arguments like who is more important or who’s right or wrong and I’m no particular mood for any of that, that day. But I’m sure he knows, he’s a know-it-all afterall! Besides, you see, when one part of your body is having difficulty, the rest is affected.
“I mean how many times have you been broken and scarred? I’m sure we’ll be fine, you’ll be okay.”
So there I was having trouble doing my job as the ache keeps getting worst, I can sense that lungs was having a hard time as well but all I can focus on is my own pain. I’m not much of a whiner but the ache was becoming too much. “I feel like I’m bleeding.” I cried a bit too loudly. The resident grumbler aka the stomach sarcastically shouted back. “Of course you are! You pump blood for everyone around here!” That idiot was lucky I couldn’t just go and march down to smack him hard or something. Instead I just steamed in anger and discomfort biting words that are too explicit to even share with you.
“Hang in there, buddy. It might just be one of your episodes. I mean how many times have you been broken and scarred? I’m sure we’ll be fine, you’ll be okay.” Lungs said encouragingly. “I hope you’re right, L. This just feels a bit too…extreme. It’s way different than the other ones.” I told him and out of nowhere, brain decided to voice out his thoughts. “Yo heart, for the 8th billionth time you have to listen to me. Stop feeling, it’s as simple as that. You don’t listen to what I say which is the reason why you’re hurting in the first place.”
Now, if I wanted to punch stomach to oblivion earlier, imagine what I wanted to do with brain this time? He made me see red, idiomatically speaking of course. “And how many times have I told you to stay out of my business? This is my function, man. I can’t just stop feeling.” I’ve known Brain for a long time and even without seeing him, I know he’s rolling his imaginary eyes and thinking I’m just being emotional, that the solution he’s suggesting is simple, effective, and logical.
“This is why we never get along, hearty. You dwell on all the emotions, the traits, the characteristics. You forget your main function and that’s to pump blood. That’s all I’m asking you to do, is that so hard for you to follow?” He asked. But before I can even answer back another jolt of pain cracked through me. “Ow!” I winced. “You’re not the boss of me!” I yelled at brain with as much as anger and conviction I could muster for a body part in pain.
“Of course I am! I’m like god of everything in this body!” He said haughtily and I wondered why no one even argued. These schmucks were simply letting brain be all high and mighty. I swear if only I can, I would have thrown a fist at each of them. I wanted to argue, to shout obscenities, but there’s this great amount of pain stopping me from doing so. “Look, it’s about time I tell you this, hearty. I’ve tried being kind so that you can figure it out yourself. But since you’re being a complete fool and dying from all the emotions I told you not to have in the first place, here’s the truth…”
I was in an excruciating amount of pain I’ve never felt before.
Again, if I wasn’t in too much pain, I would have told the Brainiac to stop being a blabbering idiot. “I supply all the emotions. You don’t have to take it by heart. Excuse me for the pun.” But he laughed at his own lame pun, because he’s an all-star a-hole! I’m sorry to sphincter for using your nickname to describe the brain.
Unfortunately for all of us he continued his monologue. “When I said I’m the god of everyone here, I wasn’t kidding. I’m the one doing all the thinking. You’re all just supposed to do what I tell you to do.” To demonstrate he ordered eye not to blink for a few seconds, intestines to stop releasing acid, and triceps to tense and relax. Finally, after his demonstrations, he reverted his attention back to me. “You see hearty, all you had to do was obey. Without me, it will be chaos around here. But everyone loves the connotation of a “heartache” but that’s just another conjured imagination by me and my fellow brains.”
Now, I know brain is bonkers but this is a new level of craziness. Unfortunately, he seems sold on this idea of megalomania and well…murdering me. “Now, I know how stubborn you can be, heart, so what I did was to amp up your pain to more than 500cc than what is required to teach you a lesson. This way, you’ll be to the point of numbness, the pain will be too much that you will just want it all to go away. You’ll just focus on pumping blood which is all you should be doing anyway!” And believe it or not, yes, he loudly gave out an evil laugh which resonated to every part of the body unbeknownst to our host.
After that, he left me alone. I was in an excruciating amount of pain I’ve never felt before. The kind organs chided me to hold on, ride through it. Our host was crying and everyone can hear it. Even stomach didn’t make a sound even though I know it’s been hours since he was fed. Tear ducts was working overtime and my pain was becoming more unbearable. It lasted through the night but there was no rest for any of us.
“Let go, heart, let her rest. Say yes and I will numb you up. You will feel better tomorrow. In fact, you will feel nothing at all.” Brain whispered to me like some kind of evil villain which in this story he very much is. But if I agreed, I’ll be a robot, a mechanical thing only functioning without any emotion. Or better yet a zombie! That’s right, I will be like a zombie. But I don’t know which did it for me. I didn’t want to give brain the satisfaction of being right or winning this battle.
However, I pity our host and her cries further magnifies my pain. Her every sob wracks through me as if it’s a blade slashing through me over and over again. It was almost 3AM when I finally gave in, or at least that’s what eyes told me. I can’t tolerate the pain any longer and everyone deserves some sleep and rest. “Goodbye, love…” I whispered. And just as if I uttered the magic words, brain shut off everything.
The next morning came, the rest of the body woke up after just a few hours of sleep. “Hey…” Lung greeted me as usual. “You feeling better?” He asked. It took awhile for me to answer. I tried to check how I’m feeling but came out with nothing. “I…I don’t feel anything. How about you?” I asked, wanting to panic but can’t find it in any part of me to do so. “It was a rough night. I felt like you got swollen or something last night, causing to block my airways but thankfully everything’s back to normal now.” But he’s wrong. This is not normal. I can’t feel anything! I’m a full-pledged zombie. I’m pumping blood, functioning, but a part of me died. It all came back to me. Brain did this.
I can’t find it in me to be angry or sad. It’s like I just have to accept that this is what I’m supposed to be. Brain was right. And besides, we’re all here to ensure our host is A-okay. That’s what matters right? I should just rest my case. And that’s how I become a beating dead heart. At times, brain sadistically jolts me with pain once in awhile, but everything’s peaceful now. As long as the five senses, or mostly eyes, ears, and nose don’t see, hear, or smell anything that can trigger a memory, I wouldn’t have that sudden pang of pain in my being. The numbing therapy which brain gave me did wonders. But we’ll see, brain sometimes slip too and do stupid things. We’ll see if I stay dead…or at least that feeling part of me.
