Learning Who Jesus Is, In Haiti

I don’t deserve to be called a missionary

Four months ago, my family and I moved to Ouanaminthe, Haiti to work with a brand new children’s medical center that was built at an existing orphanage called Danita’s Children. We have been privileged to see the work God is doing firsthand, but intensely challenged by the change of culture and lifestyle. Although we certainly expected this to be the case, we also certainly did not fully understand the depths to which this would be taken, before arriving. We moved here, my wife as a nurse to be the director of the hospital and me as an IT Engineer to work on the technical side of the medical center.

Don’t Call Me A Missionary

I studied theology in school, and I was so sick of theological arguments, debates over minutia, and commentary about the use of a certain word, by the time I graduated that, I’ve stayed far away from them ever since. Honestly it’s gone so far in the other direction now, that it’s rare I ever indulge my curiosity in a Biblical commentary or participate in a theological debate, even when I have opions or disagree with what is being said. To be completely transparent, if being a christian were my full-time job, I would get fired. I’m lazy in my study of scripture, I don’t always defend what I know is true and I rarely share my heart for people’s eternity.

One thing that God has been teaching me while here in Haiti is how important it is for me to cling to and refresh myself on the fundamental truths of who Jesus is, and what my beliefs are about God.

The point is, I know that it’s not only most of Haiti that’s terribly confused about who Jesus is, it’s the entire world, including me. Many of us Christians will find ourselves shocked to learn we’ve misunderstood a teaching for years, or misinterpreted a verse with a genuine desire to follow The Lord. The church has an infamous track record of doing things based on misinterpretations of scripture, adding in beliefs and rules, with “good intentions,” and it probably always will. That’s why I am becoming so passionate about understanding and studying the Word of God and knowing the historical facts, so that I can be more firm and outspoken in who I am and what I believe. Quite frankly, I feel convicted and embarrassed about my lack of doing so over the last 10 years. However, inside of that, I realize that I am always going to make mistakes and always going to add in my own beliefs, in turn, misrepresenting scripture.

I want to know every detail of Jesus’ life on earth, so that I can follow him, worship Him and lead people to Him with an accurate understanding of who He is. I think, as a Christian, I must guard my beliefs and keep them fresh in my heart, or my mind will become a wave at sea in this world… I know because it happens to me all of the time. I get caught up in political movements, cultural phenomenons and many other similar things, all the while forgetting about Christ’s love for people. I want to write everything I believe about Jesus, and I want to share it with everyone, but I make plenty of mistakes, and I knowingly and unknowingly sin all of the time. The large scale problem is that I often let my iniquities overcome Christ’s perfection, and stop me from boldly sharing what I believe as truth.

Focusing on The Essentials

Since we’ve been in Haiti, we’ve seen very sick children recover, and sadly in four months we’ve been witness to two children under five years old, who’ve passed away from things that were preventable. Because of this and other circumstances in my life, I’ve become very aware of two harsh realities:

1. Life is so short and so fragile.
2. Everything I do is leaving legacy.

So as if all that weren’t preachy enough, this is where it really begins, I want to be honest, I want to be humble, I want to be a lot of things that are good, but I know that I am humanly incapable of the large majority of them. This is when the faithfulness of Christ becomes imperative, because I am not capable of true good on my own. Anything I would do on my own would probably be done out of my own selfish pride to proove to people that I’m better than them to fuel the pretentiousness in my heart. God is the one doing the work, I’m just the witness. I get to be here, I get to see it, I get to tell the stories, but I’m only doing the work that anyone else on this planet could be doing. In fact, the most important thing I can do is witness God’s love for his people and share it with everyone, leaving a legacy of an empty vessel, that God used until it was too worn out to be used anymore.