what I learned from attending an “elite” STEM high school
After spending their first few years in the U.S. in Florida, my parents moved to Fairfax County in northern Virginia because of work opportunities for them, and because of the highly regarded school system for their children (me and my sister).
One reason why Fairfax County is known for its strong school system is its magnet high school, Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology, abbreviated TJHSST, or just TJ for short. Being ranked the #1 public high school in the country, TJ is notorious for having an extremely rigorous and demanding academic experience. My four years at TJ were some of the most challenging times of my life, because, in hindsight, perhaps that level of rigor wasn’t the right fit for me. Through this challenge, the most valuable things I gained were not mere knowledge, but personal growth and understanding about myself.
Work ethic:
With the borderline insane levels of workload at TJ, my work ethic improved considerably. I developed new methods of organization, using my digital calendar and to-do applications to stay on top of things. I developed greater discipline to get all my work done. I developed greater willpower/grit/mental toughness to grind through the times when I had grown absolutely sick of the work I was doing.
All of these skills led to me becoming more willing to push myself far beyond my comfort zone in pursuit of greater success… but eventually this mindset went too far.
My limits (burnout):
When setting alarms during my junior year, I considered 5 hours of sleep to be “wow great!” and 4 hours to be “hey not bad!” and 3 hours to be standard. Of course this wasn’t sustainable; falling asleep in class and taking power naps during lunch and on the bus soon became the norm. Before I even made it through the first semester, I had completely burned out.
That semester, I had simultaneously piled Multivariable Calculus and AP Physics C, two of the hardest courses at TJ, on my plate. I felt that if I didn’t take Multi, it would have been a waste that I pushed through AP Calculus BC the previous year with relative success. I felt that I must take AP Physics C because many engineering colleges that reviewed applications from TJ would specifically look for the student having taken AP Physics C. My parents told me this wasn’t reasonable for me to take on, but I felt that if I took their advice, it would mean admitting that I’m not as capable as my classmates who could handle the same challenge, therefore suggesting that I’m not smart.
Just as I had learned to strategically prioritize the assignments that pulled more weight toward my grade, I finally learned the importance of prioritizing my mental health. The only thing that’s truly not smart is not prioritizing mental health over ambition.
Focusing on myself:
In learning where my limits are, I simultaneously learned the importance of focusing on myself, rather than comparing myself to others. I still believe that comparing myself to others is an unavoidable part of life that’s in some ways necessary to know where I stand and in which ways I can improve. However, comparing myself to others should never be the sole factor that determines my self worth and what I should be doing in life. Everybody has their own individual ambitions and their own limits and capabilities. All that matters is that I do my best, and as long as I’ve done that, I should be proud.
Although working my ass off in STEM school to ultimately not even pursue STEM may seem like an unfortunate waste of time and energy, I don’t see it this way. I gained these valuable lessons that will benefit me for the rest of my life.
After some time away from TJ, I have also come to learn about how privileged I was to have had access to such incredible academic opportunities, but this is a topic I may want to explore in a future post.
