WP2

Footsteps (2011)

Soft, cold footsteps up the stairs

I’m hiding under my teddy bears,

A quiet CREEEAAAK… It’s in the hall,

My little sister starts to bawl.

It’s getting closer and closer to the door,

I don’t hear the footsteps any more.

The doorknob slowly quietly turns,

I’m holding my blankets so tight, I’m getting rug burns.

I shake and quiver, paralyzed with fright,

So scared, I don’t dare to turn on the light.

It’s coming closer and closer to my bed,

I know that in 3 seconds I’ll be dead.

The monster starts to meanly growl,

I feel its breath, cold and foul.

It leans over and I open my eyes,

Even though that wasn’t so wise.

When I look at the monster, my heart takes a leap,

The monster’s my brother, who walks in his sleep.

Cryptic (2012)

A candle, blown by the earth’s breath,

The flickering light hidden by fate.

Darkness taking over the sky,

Showing its evil and hate.

Light gone, darkness instead,

Life disappearing, death showing its face.

Evil living in the air,

Death possessing light and grace.

Forgiving Dark (2012)

A colorful rainbow after rain,

The clouds hidden by the sun,

A butterfly’s delicate wings take flight,

The battle finally won.

Dark shrinks into a cage of defeat,

The light pouring in,

Green grass praising the burning sun,

Light abolishing all sin.

“Constantly distracted”

“Does not perform well on assessments”

“Does not follow along with the rest of the class”

“Often doing work unrelated to school.”

“Unprepared for class … has many missing assignments”

“We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey, teachers, leave them kids alone
All in all it’s just another brick in the wall
All in all you’re just another brick in the wall”

“Performs well on tests and quizzes”

“Always prepared, thoroughly engaged in all she does”

“Demonstrates consistent and conscientious preparation for and participation in class”

“Consistently turns in assignments complete and on time”

“Focused and attentive in class”

_________________________________________________________________

Reflection

What does a poorly made clay pot, some harsh comments on an elementary school report card, and a Pink Floyd song have in common? Not much. Without context, my archive looks quite confusing. However, these items all play huge roles in my my past and ongoing journey of reclaiming my education and identity by finding the creativity that the educational system once forced me to abandon.

I have always been a very creative person, and this quality was visible most during my years in elementary school. I wrote poetry almost every day during recess, was constantly reading or drawing in my notebook, and loved to play the electric guitar. I prioritized my creative outlets over my schoolwork; my grades were not great, but I was able to get by. Looking back, I think this was the happiest time of my life because I was able to spend my time doing what I was passionate about. My mind wasn’t dominated by the thoughts that now tend to consume me, such as my grades, my impressions on my teachers, and whether I’m on the right path to the career I want.

For just about the entirety of grades one through seven, I sat in the classroom with my head down, either writing, drawing, or reading. My archive shows comments made about me in my report cards, and the common theme in all of the comments is my lack of focus during class. These comments never fazed me throughout elementary and middle school, but once the eighth grade rolled around, things began to change. I noticed how much more my classmates participated in class, and how their scores were higher than mine. My test scores were always in the bottom half of the class, and I would be embarrassed when my classmates wanted to compare tests with me. I started my high school applications, and honestly was not expecting to be accepted into most of the schools I applied to.

Miraculously, I was accepted into Mayfield Senior School, and from there I was determined to reclaim my education. When school began, I participated in all my classes, turned in all of my assignments on time, met with teachers before and after school, applied for different clubs and leadership roles, and spent all my time sucked into my computer doing schoolwork. In my archive, I included comments from my high school report cards that show how my teachers recognized my focus on my academics. My grades had never been higher, and my teachers and parents had never been prouder. Yet despite my complete 180 in my academic performance, I had never been so unhappy.

Because my schoolwork took up all of my time, I quit playing the guitar, stopped reading and writing for pleasure, and stopped drawing. The passions that I had spent every second of the day pursuing in elementary and middle school I now saw as just a memory of how I used to slack off in school. I struggled a lot in high school with a lack of identity — I was constantly changing my style, the way I acted, and the friendships that I had. Looking back, I can trace this struggle to find my identity back to the fact that I had quit every activity that I enjoyed doing.

Pink Floyd’s song Another Brick in the Wall is included in my archive because it has always been one of my favorite songs, and I also really resonate with the lyrics. The opening lyrics are “We don’t need no education, we don’t need no thought control” (Waters). I see the educational system as a form of thought control; from a young age we are told that good grades equates success and even happiness, and I fell victim to this mindset in high school. Focusing solely on academic achievement and abandoning the activities that were integral to my identity caused me to build a wall around myself, barackading myself from what truly made me happy.

I am in college now, and am determined to re-reclaim my education. Despite only being in college for two months, I have come to quite a lot of epiphanies, and writing my WP2 has helped me to see even more clearly how I need to pursue and spend my time doing what actually makes me happy. While my grades are still very important to me, I now know how much more I want to get out of my college experience than spending all of my time on my schoolwork. For the past few months I have been working on reclaiming my identity and bringing back the girl who would spend recess writing poetry. I brought my guitar with me to college, and just finished learning the guitar solo of Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. I also recently painted something that is now hanging on the wall in my apartment.

Baby steps, I know, but I am getting there.

Works Cited

Pink Floyd. “Another Brick in the Wall.” The Wall. cond. Roger Waters. By Roger Waters. Prod. Bob Ezrin, et al. Harvest, 1979.