A musical theater kid has a think about BLACK LENS
Black Lens is really gooooood. After re-watching it I felt this huge burst of inspiration and ideas, because everything the two USC film students talk about is stuff I can understand as a musical theater person. So I’m going to do a big ol’ think about all of those ideas, and say some things that I’m kind of scared to say, but I feel NEED to be said.
The film students in Black Lens talk about how black people are underrepresented not only in the industry but also in their college program. As an Asian person I can say the same about Asians in musical theater.
I remember pulling into the parking lot for my USC musical theater BFA audition and feeling nervous, because I looked out the window and saw only white students walking into the building. I went inside. I sat alone on the floor in the hallway, back against the wall, quietly munching on a granola bar. Listening to the white kids across from me talking about how they just flew in from [home state across the country] and are staying at [X Hotel], and I’m thinking about how, if I had to get on a plane to get here, I wouldn’t even be at this audition.
When all 50ish musical theater kids arrived, a good chunk of them were people of color, but it was still mainly white. I felt out of place and anxious. Not only because I was one of maybe five or six Asians there, but also because everyone there was talking about how they missed weeks of school flying around the country to attend auditions (one girl I talked to went to 14 schools).
I auditioned for two. And yes, I think that’s about race too.
Around college application time I got SO discouraged looking at college musical theater BFA programs’ class pictures. Most of these cohorts had 12–15ish people total, with all white students and like three BIPOC. There were rarely ANY Asians in these programs, and if there were, it would be one person. Why is this?
Let’s do the math. Carnegie Mellon University is an extremely prestigious musical theater BFA program. The application fee for the college itself is $75, and the AUDITION FEE for musical theater is $115. IF they like you and call you back, you will need to fly your ass to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and sometimes they don’t give you a ton of time to buy tickets before your audition date (one school told me I had to fly to New York FOUR DAYS in advance. I won’t say what school, but it was NYU). You will need to get a hotel. There are often no alternative options to an on-campus audition. And of course you can’t only apply to one school, so multiply all those fees by however many schools you’re applying to (I know of a girl who applied to 21.)
If you want to increase your chances of getting in somewhere, get a musical theater college audition coach, or some other type of voice/acting coach. Musical Theater College Audition Coach is a popular company; I know several people who used them. They will tell you exactly what to do to get into your program of choice. According to their website, to book a CONSULTATION (not a session! Just an initial meeting to discuss costs and coaching) you have to pay $175. There are no prices on actual coaching sessions on the site but I think it’s safe to assume it’s even more than that. Also, I looked at the company Instagram and they have these posts with the pictures of all the students they coached…and it’s like, pages and pages of white people.
If your musical theater program is only accessible for students who can afford all of this, of course you aren’t going to attract a diverse pool of applicants. Talented students from poorer families, often students of color, aren’t even given the chance to be seen by the audition panel. Furthermore, prestigious BFA programs are often direct feeds into the industry. Perhaps the lack of accessibility of musical theater colleges has something to do with BIPOC’s minimal presence in Broadway and TV, hmmmm!
USC’s musical theater callbacks (to my understanding) also required an in-person audition on campus. While I LOVE the program (it’s infinitely more diverse than any other program I’ve seen), I do wish that coming to LA was recommended but not required, for the sake of students who can’t afford it. Also, the COVID situation proved that musical theater colleges are MORE THAN CAPABLE of holding virtual auditions…why not keep that as a permanent option?
At USC callbacks, I ended up befriending a Hispanic girl who had auditioned for a lot of other musical theater college programs, and we had a conversation that went like this:
Me: “So like, are all the other auditions…like this too?”
Her: “Like what?”
Me: “Like… *quieter* mostly white?”
Her: *Gives me a knowing look and widens her eyes and does a tiny nod*
Me: “Oh! Man, I wish these kinds of things had more diversity.”
Her: “You and me, we gotta stick together.”
I wanted to stick with her too. So when I watched Black Lens, and the first girl was talking about how she’s friends with two of the only other black people in her cohort, I felt that. I feel a bit cautious when I say that I feel more comfortable when there are a few more people like me in the room. People who have skin like mine, or people who aren’t upper-middle class or rich, or people who understand the discomfort of being a minority in a sea of white. I feel cautious because, what if I’m just a snob?? What if I’m wrong for being uncomfortable in a crowd of kids who didn’t even do anything bad to me? Is it my fault for feeling outcast because I’m alienating myself? I have these doubts a lot. For this reason, I usually keep quiet about my discomfort. I don’t want my peers to get mad at me for thinking they’re privileged.
Even writing this now, I feel the slightest bit of hesitation about what I’m saying. I feel kind of terrified at the thought of my musical theater professors or classmates or any musical theater person reading this, and thinking I’m an overly critical bitch. Or that I’m just so whiny and complainy. In Black Lens the second guy is super mild and careful with what criticisms he’s making about the USC film school. His eyes dart around and he smiles awkwardly and says, “I can’t be saying that shit on camera.” Felt that.
I often feel like I need to just smile, and nod, and be thankful that I’m even in the room. I can’t criticize the whiteness of musical theater because it is white people who are at the table deciding whether they want me at their school or not. It is white people who will be hiring me in the industry, and white people who will be my fellow performers. I need them to like me.
But I also feel like, as an Asian-American having these experiences, the discomfort and criticisms I feel inside mean something. Don’t they? If I’m feeling outcast, it doesn’t matter if I’m right or wrong to feel that way. I just do. And that’s something to consider. If other students like me are feeling uncomfortable, that’s worth talking about and listening to.
And what I feel inside is that talented students of all races and wealth levels and genders and sexualities and and levels of ability deserve the opportunity to be in the room. And, equally important, we need diversity at the judges’ panel.
If you, the reader, are a white and/or upper middle class person who could afford to fly to colleges and have private coaching, I don’t hate you and I’m not mad at you! I WISH I WAS YOU. I have cried gallons of tears wishing I was you. The fault lies in universities who keep the rest of us out. Broadway is so white. Both the performers and the producers all the way at the top controlling it all. I’m so tired of it. And it can all be traced back to the lack of diversity in higher education. It NEEDS to be more accessible! That’s just my two cents.
So basically, the awesome discussion of diversity in the USC film school and the film industry in Black Lens awoke the angry theater nerd within. Also, Jordan Peele is my favorite filmmaker as well, he’s amazing! Just wanted to throw that out there.
