WP4: How I Learned to Love Writing
I used to hate writing. When you have a writing-based learning disability, anything writing-related tends to become something you loathe. While the use of a computer has helped quell my hatred of the subject, my negative experiences from before having a computer for these assignments combined with boring high school classes has always left a bad taste in my mouth. I went into this class looking at it as just a major requirement. Then I saw the subjects we’d be talking about and the freedom given to us. This class has singlehandedly made me love writing.
I started out my posts keeping close to the subject material we were covering in class, partially because it interested me, but also partially because I’ve been conditioned with my other English classes to stick to the course material. For posts 2 and 3, I started with the class material but transitioned to subjects that greatly interest me involving the LGBTQ+ community. And come posts 4–9 I was doing posts on completely different subjects that interest me. Everything from shows to mental breakdowns over stress, everything was fun to write. It helped me realize that I love to write about cartoons (writing about 2000 words effortlessly about a single show) and that integrating ARG elements into my writing is an interesting challenge.
The ARG elements in my writings are probably the most notable parts of them. I began this trend in WP2 and continued it for more personal pieces like posts 8 and 9, which are definitely more experimental than any of my other work. It allowed me to portray thoughts in a different way than normal. By hiding it behind a code that one has to interact with and translate, I’m able to add a new layer to my writing. For WP2, I integrated this in two different ways. The first way was with gender, using each code to represent a male/female/non-binary voice inside of me. I found this to be rather cheesy at first, however, when I actually got into it, I tried to put myself in each mindset before typing out what would be hidden. I think it perfectly represents my thoughts when I look in the mirror or think about who I am in terms of identity.
The second way I used ARG code elements was when talking about my mental state. My doubts, my insecurities, my dark thoughts. I used this to represent the voice in the back of my head that’s always there saying everything wrong with me. It also represented the voices of people around me who, through poor choice in wording, reinforced these thoughts. I’m still not 100% sure what these elements in Post 8 are meant to represent, I just wrote it how it felt right for me. I’ll let readers put their own interpretation on it if they wish.
Another huge part of my posts, especially with WP2 and WP3 (and even the introduction to this piece), is my past with dealing with my learning disability. I am extremely passionate about preventing another experience like mine. Not to exaggerate or alarm, but I fully believe that if I had continued at my high school for another year that I would’ve taken my life. Having such a traumatic experience go on for 3 years has really left an impact on me, and while I like to say that I’m fine and look on the bright side of things, the fact of the matter is that I still haven’t recovered from the experiences. And even when the smallest things go wrong (my computer crashing in the middle of a quiz, lag using math software hours before a deadline, etc.), it can send me into a spiral remembering all those experiences. Of course, being stuck in the same house that I was in during those 3 years isn’t helping either. Needless to say, writing this semester has definitely helped me realize the impact that I’m still having from these experiences that I’ve slightly buried. And being able to write and go back to some of the words that have stuck with me has helped me re-open old wounds, yet also heal better this time.
It’s hard to say what post is my favorite or the one I’m most proud of. On one hand, I absolutely adore post 5 that I did on Infinity Train. Not only is Infinity Train criminally underrated, but I published it on the day Infinity Trains got #FinishInfinityTrain trending on Twitter for over 6 hours in an attempt to get HBO Max to renew the series. I loved revisiting each book and the pilot of this masterpiece of a show. On the other hand, I wrote post 9 two weeks after WP3 was supposed to be due and in the middle of a week where I had homework for all of my subjects due. That week was extremely stressful and I was hitting a real rut in life. My mental health was taking a nose-dive due to everything going on academically and in my personal life. Writing post 9 gave me a creative way of expressing that stress, and it was extremely therapeutic.
In terms of WPs, WP3 definitely takes the cake with WP2 being a close second. While I love my topic in WP1, opening up in my writing about my learning disability and being in the LGBTQ+ community is something that I definitely prefer. WP3 was me finally getting to advocate for learning disabled students by sharing my story, talking about the vagueness of Section 504, and topping it off with some advice. It felt like a natural segway from my WP2 post “The Curse of Dysgraphia” that had some highlights from the hearing as well as some of the basis of WP3 in terms of talking about my experience. If someone would like to read more about my experience as a learning disabled student, I would recommend the WP2 post and then my WP3 post.
All in all, this semester of writing made me love writing as a subject and a pastime. It’s helped me realize how therapeutic writing is as well as unearth some feelings about past events that are still with me even if I want to move on. Through the freedom to be able to write about whatever I want and present it in any way that I want, I’ve been able to express myself more creatively. Glg L hyhu phqwlrq wkdw 3 lv pb idyrulwh qxpehu? Dqbzdb, frqjudwv rq iljxulqj wklv rxw! Wkdqn brx iru dq dpdclqj vhphvwhu dqg khoslqj ph ilqg pb mrb lq hasuhvvlqj pbvhoi wkurxjk zulwlqj. -Zxe
