ASYNCH Tuesday: Just an Average Tuesday

1:24 pm: Morning Panic

• Sleep
• Math
• Integral
• Midterm
• Post-Lab
• Homework

My eyes grow heavy as I try to let go of my body. I feel the cold chill of the surrounding air enter the airways of my lungs and spread all the way down to the tips of my toes. I begin to feel blood pump from my chest, to my hands, down the sides of my body, and to the back of the head. For a moment I feel everything, but only for a moment. This entire experience lasted a matter of seconds, and my mind was quickly consumed with the stresses for the week. The thought of failing my math midterm terrorized my subconscious, anxiety begins to set in and it spirals. I think of all the homework I have to complete for tomorrow and then the post-labs due. The never ending list of assignment is becoming unbearable. The thought of missing deadlines completely destroys any feeling of relaxation I experienced during the first couple seconds of trying to let go. But the day goes on, and so must I.

9:38pm: The Essentials

• Food
• Naps
• Calculus
• Water
• Break
• Rest

When my brain isn’t preoccupied thinking of school, my mind instantly gravitate towards my next meal. As much I tried to let go of all other thoughts during the 60 second period of relaxation, my mind can’t help but contemplate what I may have for dinner. First, my brains runs through all the possible locations: Parkside, EVK, Seeds, McCarthy, Verde, Burger Crush….my mouth begins to water as the possibilities seem never ending. Yet, as I begin to find some comfort in the meal to come, anxiety clenches me by the throat once again. Instantly, the though of this impending midterm pollutes my mind. I become stressed, and the meal that I had longed for becomes just another item on the endless list of tedious task to complete for the day. No longer can enjoy my dinner, now I must eat as fast as humanly possible to return to my studies. Anxiety is a crushing force as it has the capability to suck the fun out of any task that may be enjoyable. The day had been long and tiring up to that point, but the few seconds of peace had provide me with a taste of relaxation. All I need is rest, all that anyone needs is rest. But the days go on, and so must I.

12:56pm: Papa Jorge

Querido Papa Jorge,

Espero que esta carta te encuentra en buen sulde. Hay como te he extranado papa, siempre me encuentro pensado en los dias que nos llevabas a la playa o al parque para que me divierta y no estuviera en la casa todo el dia. Me siento un poco triste en pensar que esos dias ya se han acabado, y nunca regresaran. Pero quiero que sepas, que siempre voy a valorar esos tiempos como si fueran lingotes de oro. Tambien te queria decir que he estado rezando todas las noches como me dijeste. Es facil mentir y decirte que no me siento solo aqui, pero en realidad hay noches que me siento islado de los de mas estudiantes. Pero en cuento empiezo a rezar, siento como si estuviera en el carrito de Jorhinchis en camino a la Madison tratando lo mejor possible para repitir la oracion completa. No es la oracion que me tanquilza, son las memorias adjuntos a las oraciones que me ayuda. Papa, tu no simplemente eres la razon proque estudio, tu eres mi motivacion. Y por eso, te quiero decir gracias. Yo se que vas a salir de este tratmiento como si nuevo, yo lo se. Sigue pleando papa, y yo tratara de hacer te orgulloso. Bayo Caballo Papa.

Con Mucho Amor,

Eduardo Rosales