Evolution of Masculinity and Gender Norms WP3
In recent years, the dynamic of toxic masculinity and gender norms has been evolving, with a decreasing number of the old habits and traditions that men were pressured to feel so strongly about. This shift challenges traditional gender norms and reflects broader changes in society, presenting greater gender equality in the relationships and more diverse definitions of a man’s structure. The history of the image of masculinity has been laid down since the beginning of times, and has evolved to toxic masculinity, however that is surely changing now.
I have laid down some of the issues within the realm of masculinity, such as internalized homophobia, financial burdens, emotional distress, that have been a stem of the issues. By a recent sit down conversation with men and women, the views that were stated so firmly years ago about masculinity and gender norms, are now challenged, and will continue to be, by the opinions that were stated. There is now a further evolution occurring in masculinity, where men are now seeking outside of the harmful gender norms that have been set in society. I will express the importance and aspects that are going on with this positive turn around of masculinity and gender norms. By recognizing and acknowledging these harmful norms, this current evolution is addressing and renovating these toxic masculinity expectations.
Men have grown to learn that the gender and masculinity norms are natural or just the way it is supposed to be, because of how implemented it is upon society. It has become so strong in the culture of relationships, economy, and even societal power leading to gender inequality. Men at times are at fault for this imbalance of gender equality, but it all comes down back to the society expectations that have pushed men to be a certain way, which is what builds to the creation of toxic masculinity and gender inequality. Because society wants men to be the main caregivers, strong minded/built persona, and work in the most physically demanding labors, this has given men the idea of being superior to women, creating that gender inequality and toxic masculinity environment.
Why are men expected to be breadwinners in a relationship?
Why are men expected to work in the more physically demanding labors?
Why are men expected to have a strong persona and not express their feelings?
Why are men not allowed to experience and discover their true self without the fear of their masculinity being questioned?
Why are men not allowed to indulge in themselves such as pampering without being seen feminine or gay?
Why are men afraid to discover themselves?
Society…society has all the power to shut down a man, within regards of being their true selves.
There is an unfortunate limitation to a man from society that keeps them from exploring their identity. Although some men have crossed that barrier that society has placed upon, most men do not exceed it, and by barrier I mean, the fear of judgment and belittling from society, peers, and or family. However, that is all starting to change, with new generations coming in, with different mindsets of what a man is or if a man should be judged by the morals of masculinity from the beginning of time. In a recent open discussion with men and women discussing the issues surrounding toxic masculinity and gender norms, conducted by myself (Jesus Ortega), many of the ideals of how old historical ideologies of masculinity were challenged, by both men and women. It was an important aspect to have both genders in the same conversation at the same time, so both voices from men and women can be heard. This allows a chance for women to see men express themselves in a way that men are not used to seeing. Some strong points that were made in the discussion were dealing with whether men should be the breadwinner in a relationship and more advocating for men’s mental health.
A heavy boulder that men carry in a relationship is usually being or having to be the breadwinner in the relationship. Men having this societal pressure creates an ideology of men having to be superior in the relationship in a way, creating an off balance between gender roles. Although some of this also stems from men doing it as an act of chivalry, in a way of just being respectful and kind to women. However, throughout time society has turned that chivalry act into a forced and expected act, transitioning that chivalry act into toxic masculinity. In the open discussion of masculinity and gender norms conducted by me, all of these ideologies were challenged and questioned, by both men and women. The women all together simultaneously agreed on the viewpoint that it did not matter if their male significant other made more or less financially, just wanted equal responsibility from both parties. Surprisingly the men agreed as well to an extent. The men were on the same page as the women in agreeing with not having any strong hard feelings towards whether who makes more financially, as long as there is mutual respect and support. However, the men did say that although it did not have a strong effect on a relationship whether they made more financially, that their ego would be slightly hurt. This was a shocking point for me and reality, because this is where one can see how the ideals of masculinity and gender norms are currently changing. Not too long ago, these answers would have been different, but now people are accepting women to be the breadwinner, and most importantly men now are not taking them completely to heart. Men go through stressful measures trying to prove themselves financially in a relationship to the point where it becomes very toxic for a man’s mental health. It is a positive gradual change that allows men to get a mental break in a way, relieving some stress of the pressures that weigh so heavily upon them. Not only is this important for men’s mental health, but also allows room for growth of gender equality, seeing men being okay with women having some kind of equal level field.
Adding onto that, men’s mental health was another strong aspect of the conversation, that everyone seemed to agree on as well. There are mental health issues with everyone, men, women, and anyone else; however, there is less advocacy of men’s mental health awareness. All throughout history with men and their issues, their mental health has always been pushed aside and hidden. Men were not encouraged to speak their emotions and express themselves in a vulnerable place, so these bundled up emotions have a strong negative affect leading to depression, violent behaviors, and prevention to discovering true self. I myself struggled with expressing my feelings and motions, because I did not see any other man do it close to me, and with no father figure to guide me, I was more hesitant. Throughout my life course, I have been taunted and accused of being gay and very feminine compared to the rest of the guys, and that destroyed me mentally. Being told from a young age these remarks made me question myself, I was filled with sadness, anger, insecurities, and much more that one can not explain. Us men are not seen vulnerable enough to express themselves, so I would not really tell anyone how it hurt me. I was scared of being seen as weak, and overall I did not know how to express myself or how to start a conversation about it, even to my own mother. Over time though, I have gained confidence and strength, that I do not need to care about others, and expressing and sharing my feelings to someone is okay, even as a man. It was sad that in the discussion, the men were saying that yes, they are more scared and hesitant to speak and share their feelings, because of how the system of toxic masculinity is set up. They expressed how it is hard to speak about their feelings, because they have never really done it, and wish they could express themselves to someone. The women agreed that it is okay for men to be vulnerable, and would actually want to see more men be able to express themselves more than usual. This huge change in men’s mental health would solve so many issues within toxic masculinity, can help reduce violent behaviors, help discover self identity, reduce stress levels, and much more. I am glad that the men were able to be heard by the woman, and the alliance from both sides agreeing on the importance of more awareness to men’s mental health.
Even though there is still an evolution and changes being made to masculinity, it has always been hard and still is for a man to confine themselves into a certain kind of man, or at least what is expected. If you do not fit the typical man then they become lost, confused, and afraid, so they try to squeeze into the box that society has made for a man. A man’s masculinity can be taken away and questioned in seconds, but if a man knows who they are there would be no issue. In an article, The Boys Are Not All Right, Black stated, “Too many boys are trapped in the same suffocating, outdated model of masculinity, where manhood is measured in strength, where there is no way to be vulnerable without being emasculated, where manliness is about having power over others. They are trapped, and they don’t even have the language to talk about how they feel about being trapped, because the language that exists to discuss the full range of human emotion is still viewed as sensitive and feminine”(Black 23). This quote supports how men struggle with masculinity and how to deal with it. Men are scared to express their feelings and are scared that they will not fit in, because they are supposed to be a certain way. Black also expresses how it is hard for men to find an escape from it and find a way to handle it, and some do it through violence which is not right. He used an example of school shooting, to show how the mental health issues were so bad, it led to extreme violence, but also a smaller scale in domestic violence, which is also very bad and unacceptable. Men will always battle with these issues, but soon the changes of masculinity will be noticeable to society.
Although these issues in masculinity and gender norms still exist, our generation will come to help, and advocate for these problems, which is going to create a huge pitival point. There will be a point where men will be able to express themselves in ways that they have not yet. Without this evolutionary change, then men would continue their toxic masculinity behaviors and see no change in gender norms, which is much needed as well. As someone who has dealt with the backlash of toxic masculinity, not fitting into the ideal stereotype of a man, bullied for being feminine and not straight enough, depression for not being able to express emotions, this was a meaningful topic to discuss. It is important for me to be able to express the significance of toxic masculinity, gender norms, men’s mental health, and how now there is an evolutionary change occuring by the upcoming generation, that will change society. Everyone has their battles and obstacles to face in life, and men will be able to combat masculinity in a more authentic way, with this evolutionary change.
Works Cited
Black, M. I. (2018, February 21). The boys are not all right. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/21/opinion/boys-violence-shootings-guns.html
Ortega, J. (2024, June 25). Toxic masculinity and gender norms. YouTube. https://youtu.be/CSnNCzqX4ZQ
(Personal Experience)