Maybe I am a Writer
I’ve never considered myself to be a good writer. Growing up, I always excelled in my stem courses because those classes just made sense to me. I was naturally talented in subjects like math and science, and something about the material just clicked in my brain. However, my English classes were another story. I absolutely dreaded writing because I didn’t think I was eloquent or lyrical enough to create intelligent sounding essays. I was afraid that my teachers would think less of me because I didn’t sound ‘academic’ enough. The fear of sounding less than intelligent in my writing has been holding me back for years. However, through this course I was able to defy this stigma that I had created in my own mind, and become more comfortable writing in my own voice. I discovered that the role of writing in my life has given me a place in which I could express my thoughts freely, and use resources that I’m invested in to educate others about my passions.
What has been holding me back in my writing for so long is my fear of sounding less than intelligent. I’m a very smart person, and I excel in more areas of study than others. I, however, do not view myself as a person with a stellar vocabulary. I’m actually terrible at guessing the WORDLE every day because according to my own logic “I just don’t know enough words.” This is an issue I face in my writing because I fear that if I don’t use ‘big’ words, I won’t sound eloquent enough to those reading my essays. I fear that they will not take my work seriously because of this issue. Through this course I learned that this fear was completely irrational. I don’t need to use big words in my writing in order to make a point. In fact, sometimes it’s better to write in simple prose. It can be easier for audiences to digest, and it forces you to explain your ideas thoroughly. What matters is how well I explain my ideas, and how passionate I am about what I have to say. My care and consideration will come through my work if I focus more energy into it rather than allowing this fear to become my downfall. Writing is so much more than using big words, it’s about using this platform to speak freely about what’s important to you. By losing this stigma, I have been able to use the medium of writing to discover different facets of my passions, and identify my own perspective on these subject matters.
Through this course, I was also able to discover the balance between personal and analytical writing in order to make my work stronger and more credible. In the beginning of the semester, I greatly struggled with this task. All of my projects focused on the personal aspects of my life in relation to the subject matter. I assumed that the fact that we were writing about identity meant I only had to write about myself, and I neglected using outside sources to solidify my voice. As the course went on, I slowly started to see the importance in finding this balance. Using sources I was passionate about became a powerful tool in my writing because it gave validity to the fact that what I had to say was beyond just me. There were more people who shared my perspective on the topics in which I wrote about, and I could use their voice to show the credibility of my own. The balance between the personal and analytic helped me to express my thoughts freely, because it showed my perspective in context of reality.
My voice is a powerful tool which I can use to make an impact in the areas in which I am passionate about. I never realized the power in voice due to my lack of confidence in my writing. I never realized that what I have to say actually matters. For so long my English classes have asked me to write about subjects I had no interest in. Normally I had little to no say over the subject of my writing. My lack of interest in these topics translated into my writing as my voice had no passion for the subject I was speaking about. I assumed that this was how it would be with all my writing to come. I assumed that the rest of my writing career would repeat this uninteresting and impersonal cycle. However, through this course I was given the opportunity to delve into topics I was already passionate about. This greatly improved my writing as the care I had for these topics really shone through my work. I gained interest in writing and with that I began to actually care about what I had to say. The confidence I gained in my interest to write translated into my confidence over the value of the work I actually created. I realized the impact in which passion has over a person’s writing, as it is a paramount, motivating factor in producing quality work.
This course gave me the opportunity to discover my voice, realize the importance of my voice, as well as gain confidence in the validity of my voice. For far too long I let fear and hesitation prevent me from expanding my writing skills and abilities. I justified my lack of interest in improving my writing abilities, by blaming it on the fact that “I wasn’t a good enough writer.” I was able to learn that this excuse was no longer valid, and that if I focused my energy on writing about my passions, I can create a space in which my writing actually has meaning. I learned that I have the potential to become a talented writer if I prevent fear from getting in my way. I realized that not only does my writing hold value to my audience, but also to myself. I value my writing in ways I never have, and believe that what I have to say actually matters.
