WP1: Oxymoron
It wasn’t the most eloquent choice of words but I could tell that Ariana was trying to make a point. So, I waited for her to continue. “What I mean…” she sputtered, “What I mean is that you are both very different. “You are very calm and serene, unlike your brother who is vibrant and energetic”. Her comment verged on being a compliment to me, not knowing how to handle its intent. My only response came out late and to my own mind, “Well Ariana, I am a product of my environment”. Another term that aligned with Ariana´s argument was “anti-me”- a person with whom we have so little in common that even casual conversations become learning (Daire 12 things that only twins will know to be true). Having this term in mind, this written piece will unravel the implications of having an anti-self as a sibling as well as how said experience has allowed me to be more receptive to people of different backgrounds.
Alfredo is his name and, without him, my world wouldn’t have known a battle of contradictions. We were surprise twins (not identical twins), born nearly a decade after my other two siblings. What this means is that, by the time we turned eleven, we were being raised and looked after by four adults.
At an early age, there were some physical features that set me apart from Alfredo. Physically speaking, Alfredo is white-skinned. He has dark-brown, curly hair and his face resembles the shape of an oval. He is “full-figured” and sits at 5’ 3” of height. Unlike Alfredo, my skin color is what most Latin Americans label as “trigueño”. This term alludes to a skin color similar to the color of wheat. What’s more, at that time, I had dark black hair with some little curls around the forehead as well as a square face. However, what truly distinguished me from Alfredo was my weight. As a kid, I was fairly scrawny up to a point where my body lacked enough flesh to cover bones and veins.
Growing up, the GDC calculator I had puzzled over in childhood became my reality. Years of looking up, cheering, and engaging at basketball games and track meets, became years of involvement in my own fields. Drawn to math because of its absoluteness and community service because of its social impact, I found new realities. The image of success, often epitomized with straight A’s, a never-ending list of extracurricular activities, and scholastic awards, was my solace- my way of differentiating myself from my brother and fellow peers. At the end of the day, I was an overachiever who focused mainly on getting good grades and being the embodiment of what a good student should look like. For Alfredo, however, the idea of academic achievement was a moving target. Not only did he argue that academics was “useless” for real-life scenarios but also found passion in non-scholastic areas. One of those areas was art.
A step inside his room envelopes a world in a sea of color. Seven Mona Lisas smile at me when I walk in. The vibrancy of the posters and minimalist-looking paintings resonate with his enthusiasm to talk about art. A giant fish head, an avocado seed, and a red mandala currently sit at his table- waiting to be hanged in the wall. Taking notice of my brother’s creation, I am inspired by his imagination and originality. As a highly involved person in the realm of politics, my brother has also shown this side of his personality in a corner of his room. Right next to his wooden desk are a plethora of articles and magazines. On the front wall, there is a picture of the world-renowned gesture “The Merkel-Raute”.
On the other side of the spectrum, my room would contrast my brother’s interest. The posters of Rick and Marty, The Simpsons and Minions would often welcome guests. Over the years, these vibrant and colorful pieces created a Disney-like environment- possibly foretelling guests that they are in a manchild’s territory. Unlike his world of politics, I immersed myself in the world of Business Analytics and Economics. My enthusiasm to talk about the rise of automation and the rise of China as an economic superpower would contrast my brother’s interest.
My differences with my brother also extend beyond the look of our bedrooms and career pathways. As an extrovert, my brother’s personality revolved around the idea of mingling with other people seamlessly. On a normal basis, you would see him approach strangers and engage in deep, thoughtful conversations. During family gatherings, Alfredo would be the one person in charge of bringing the family together as well as pushing us into being more receptive to one another. Moreover, my brother is also characterized by being somewhat impulsive and for having a straight-to-the-point deliverance while talking. What this means is that, whenever he disagrees with someone verbally, he would often find a way to prove the person wrong- sometimes without even questioning the person’s point of view. In contrast, my calm and serene personality would often limit me from engaging in large reunions and events. In fact, I would often be the one who finds it hard to approach new people without a good reason. I would also be the one who avoided confrontation at all costs or, in other words, be the appeaser.
My way of seeing the world has been shaped by the feeling of having to share most instances of my life — whether it be the good or bad — with someone of opposite traits. It is a feeling hard to categorize or describe with words. It’s not positive or negative either. It is a lifestyle that can brighten you with optimism and fulfillment on bad days or one which can overwhelm you when needing some alone time.
All of this has, both consciously and unconsciously, helped me build relationships with people from different backgrounds. With an acquired growth mindset and an 18-year-long experience of living with my “anti-self”, my mission has been to embrace and celebrate diversity. In short, I have employed what Freire calls Praxis- the practice of something based on a previous reflection (Freire et al. Pedagogy of the oppressed). As a freshman who has started living and studying at USC for the past 14 weeks, I’ve already engaged with people who come from different parts of the world. Having suitemates from South Korea, India, Puerto Rico, and Greece have made my learning environment transition from pale to highly dynamic and entertaining. From struggling to pronounce the Korean phrase “안녕하세요, 제 이름은 렌조입니다’ to spreading my love for Urban Latin Music with my Puerto Rican suitemate, my world now consists of finding my “anti-me´s” and learn from them.
My life consists of viewing the world with four eyes. It´s the experience of having Alfredo´s personality inside me that makes me, me. It´s the highs, the lows, the bonding and the arguing that shaped my point of view (McCoy Growing up with a twin). These 18 years of intricate relationship has served as a magnifying glass for me. The intention of looking into people’s interests, passions, and values was somewhat blurred by an imaginary -2.25 eye prescription glass. Now more than ever, my mission is to mingle into different cultural and social backgrounds to then discover unkindled sides of my personality. For example, if a friend of mine asks me to help him organize a lesson for his gardening class (not a fan of gardening since getting results takes a lot of patience), perhaps I’ll find myself teaching people about the basics of creating homemade compost from fruit peels. If my roommate asks me to engage in Computer science material, I’d love to learn more about the basics of coding.
My world is young and hopeful, Practical always. To Ariana, my life is an oxymoron. To many, my life is complicated. Call it what they may. To me, it’s balance.
Works Cited
Daire, Amy. “12 Things That Only Twins Will Know to Be True.” Insider, Insider, 8 Apr. 2019, www.insider.com/what-is-it-like-to-be-a-twin-2017-4.
Freire, Paulo, et al. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. Bloomsbury Academic, 2020.
McCoy, Staci. “Growing up with a Twin.” The Odyssey Online, 15 Oct. 2019, www.theodysseyonline.com/growing-with-twin.
