WP1: Not Average

“Hi, my name is Denise and I _____”

Here we go again– my least favorite part of starting a new semester; introductions. I really dislike introductions, mainly because sharing a “fun fact” has just never been quite fun to me. Having to pick one single thing that I like or that I’m good at to define me has created an internal conflict for me. How can I fill in the blank with one single thing when I am a multitude of things?

The concept of being “average” is very damaging to one’s self-confidence, yet it seems that feeling mediocre roots in what Mark Manson refers to as a culture of exceptionalism. We have been conditioned to “believe that exceptional is the new normal” (Manson). Manson’s argument regarding exceptionalism is that naturally, as individuals are bound to compete with one another, they create a competitive culture that strives to compensate and compete in the most minor things. We undoubtedly turn down the idea that we are a spectrum because of this competition. There is nothing wrong with “being average”. However, it’s not that we are actually average. It’s just that many people just are made up of a multitude of things so there isn’t one singular skill that defines them.

This is the dilemma I ponder yet again as I make my way through the neverending crowds of eager students starting their first semester at USC. Muttering under my breath, I think of ways in which I can fill the blank.

“Something with sports?” I’ve never been too good at them..

“Art?” Denise, you know you can’t draw anything other than a smiley face..

“Dance?” You don’t have the proper training…

Nothing fit.

“I’ll just say my favorite color is pink..” You say that every time..

It’s a constant battle trying to fill in the blank. Nothing sticks; I refuse to claim anything, and although I have had no luck, I’ve tried.

“Hi, my name is Denise, and I am Catholic.”

There is no denying that I have a religious “background.” The cross pendant that hung around my neck since the age of 3 and the 12 years of Catholic education may give it away, but those components don’t necessarily signify anything because, unfortunately, I can’t deny the fact that I would daydream and doze during Mass on Sundays. I don’t hide the fact that I am Catholic because it’s true; I am Catholic. Yet, I’d consider myself to be more of an “average” Catholic. Average won’t fill in the blank.

“Hi, my name is Denise, and I love reading books.”

If I were to say this exact phrase, it would be a lie; I do like reading, but maybe not so much love. In sixth grade, I decided to tell myself I would be a “book person.” I wanted to claim a hobby, and my lack of athletic and artistic abilities led me to pick up a book. It was enjoyable the first couple of days; however, I quickly realized that if I wanted to be a “real” book person, I’d have to keep up with the pressure of reading all the latest bestselling books, and that is far too exhausting for my low attention span. I wanted to feel the rush and excitement that others felt when reading, but I just felt like an average reader, and average just won’t do.

The feeling of being an average individual is the underlying root for my struggle to fill in the blank of such a simple phrase. I find it difficult to truly “claim” something because of the constant competition I create in my head, comparing myself to others and creating the reasoning that if I am not up to par with the “best” Catholics or the “best” dancers or readers, then I am therefore not worthy of claiming it as my own.

It is common to neglect the concept that humans are a multitude. At times, I had found myself wishing my parents gave me a hobby and forced me into an activity, like putting me in ballet or piano classes when I was 5. Maybe then I would struggle a little less to pick a fun fact if I didn’t have a range of areas in which I considered myself average.

Is it really that I’m average? No. I am a spectrum of things.

“A jack of all trades is a master of none.”

The pressures of modern society to specialize in one thing is evident. In elementary school, we are told to think about what we want to be when we are older. In the following years, perhaps we will explore our interests and hobbies and find that we enjoy a range of different areas. It gets a little more serious in high school, where by senior year, we are forced to generalize all of the interests and hobbies we have acquired and select the specific major that could determine our future. We are often reduced to one single thing despite the multitude of experiences, interactions, interests, hobbies, and everything that has set the foundation for who we are as individuals.

“A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”

Such an infamous saying has been reconstructed in multiple ways, going around in circles and creating a debate. It is often recognized for its first half, yet many neglect to apply the ending. People with expertise in one area are viewed highly, while well-rounded individuals are seen to have only “dabelled” in skills and are therefore labeled as average. We are versatile. Societal pressures of having to generalize our being into one category are unrealistic because, as humans, we “contain multitudes.” As Walt Whitman says in his “Song of Myself,” humans contain multitudes and contradict themselves, and that is totally fine. Yet, society looks down on unusual individuals or those who make mistakes, adding to the pressures of picking one singular thing.

We see this prevail in education, especially where there is a stigma surrounding college students and major switches. Incoming and early college students carry the fear that it will be too late into their educational journey to switch majors and follow the path to what they truly want, with “about one-third of students enrolled in bachelor’s degree programs” changing majors and “about 1 in 10 students” changing their majors more than once (Data Point). It is perfectly common. However, young students place a large weight on their shoulders and criticize themselves for changing their minds, even though it is inevitable to change our minds as we experience new things.

As I continue to enter stages in my life that require a new interaction or a new “fun fact,” I find it important to remind myself that whatever I fill in the blank with does not necessarily determine who I am because I am truthfully a spectrum, a multitude, and in other words, a work in progress.

“Hi, my name is Denise, and I am a work in progress”

Works Cited:

Data Beginning College Students Point. https://nces.ed.gov/pubs2018/2018434.pdf.

Mark Manson. “In Defense of Being Average.” Mark Manson, Mark Manson, 20 Jan. 2022, https://markmanson.net/being-average.

Whitman, Walt. Song of Myself. 1892 “Deathbed” Edition.