WP2: Am I Beautiful?

Growing up with the East Asian Beauty Standards, has always led me to think “Am I beautiful?” The heavy influence in our culture from a young age stems from this idea of perfection and being the standard of beauty. Whether the pressure came from our own friends, watching the media, or even our own family. Society has failed to recognize the way people suffer and face negative treatment from not being considered “beautiful.” My own experience has led me to wonder about others’ experiences with the beauty standards. I want to learn and see who is exactly behind the intense pressure of these ideals in women and young girls. The survey will help me view different perspectives of how the beauty standard is inflicted on those similar to me.

East Asian Beauty Standards Survey

The East Asian Beauty Standards survey was available from June 3 to June 12 on Google Forms. There were a total of 22 participants. With the participants, 8 of them were under 18, 12 of them were 28–24, and 2 were 25 or older.

What do you think are the East Asian beauty standards? List them below.

The first question allowed the participants to begin thinking about the topic of East Asian Beauty Standards. It helped them connect and see what they think the standards are from their perspective.

Participants responded with the following answers:

- “Big eyes, Pale skin, Small face, Skinny, 90 degree shoulders, Nice ears”

- “very pale skin, skinny, small face and big eyes, light colored eyes”

- “White unblemished skin, small nose, small face, big eyes, being skinny, super feminine and doll-like”

- “extremely white/pale (like you’re terminally ill or a ghost), huge eyes w perfect eyelashes (manga preferably), very small face w small chin, very skinny but still have slight curve/noticeable waist line, pearly white teeth, very put together style (luxury brands are extra points),perfectly permed hair at all times (goddess waves like kpop idols is a great choice), skinny hands w long fingers”

The answers to the question all shared common ideas. They were all focused on specific features that are widely known and pressured among East Asian beauty standards. Big eyes, pale skin, and skinny were the most common answers. They appeared in every single participants’ response to the question. Everyone seems to have the same general idea, since they have seen and faced the toxicity of the beauty standards. These ideas are pressured by our own surroundings, inducing family, friends, and the media.

Have you ever felt affected by the East Asian beauty standards?

The question helped me gain insight on what participants faced with the beauty standards.

The majority of the participants, which was over 90.9%, have felt affected by the East Asian beauty standards. 9.1% of the participants were not affected by them. The results reveal that a wide range of women and girls are facing these ideals. They are being and feeling confined to this box of what is considered beautiful or not.

If you answered yes, please share your experience relating to it. If you answered no, write N/A.

Some of those who answered yes shared:

- I have been praised for having a lighter skin tone many times. My mom tells me to get double eyelid surgery because she thinks it’ll look better.

- “I was born very pale skinned and would get lots of compliments from older asian people but when I started swimming competitively I got very tan and that brought me lots of unwanted comments about my skin color. This made me stop swimming and I haven’t competitively swam in years now.”

- “Condescension/negative treatment from Taiwanese relatives based on physical treatment (esp compared to my sisters who fit the standards better)”

- “As someone who is fully Asian, I only weigh 108 as a 5’1 female. However, I’ve been called not only too dark but also too fat multiple times and have been told that one, I need to eat more but I also get looks and comments when I do?? It’s very interesting”

- “parents provided whitening soap from a young age.”

- “I feel like consuming a lot of East Asian media such as through instagram, webtoon, kdramas, etc I have seen a lot of idealized korean models, especially the actors and idols. They have very idealized features and after consuming a lot of that type of media I feel that it affects how I start to see myself and I start wanting to look more like them. Especially with fashion and appearance.”

East Asian beauty standards heavily affect women and young girls. From the answers, we can see that many of them face a backlash or the pressure to fit into this ideal. A common answer was wanting to be pale. Some responses state that they are pale and afraid to tan. Others state that they want to be pale and are also afraid to tan, so they can fit the standards better. One participant even mentioned that they used to swim competitively, until they received unwanted comments about their skin tone. This led to them quitting the sport and avoiding swimming. It’s a sad reality. Many people try to avoid outdoor activities that cause them to tan and they even spread it to those around them that they are “too dark” and need to stop tanning. Another participant had their parents provide them with whitening soap, which is commonly seen and used in East Asian culture. It is promoted in many day-to-day skin products. One of the participants’ parents even recommended that they get double eyelid surgery, so they can look “better”. This is common in East Asian culture. People have accepted plastic surgery and find it okay to push it on others. They point out insecurities that can be fixed with it.

Which one are you affected by the most?

The question was used to gain knowledge of what participants felt most affected by the beauty standards.

45.5% of the participants feel like having a slim body affects them the most. This is very common in East Asian culture. There is a very specific ideal of what is considered thin, which is extremely unrealistic and unhealthy. Most people can’t reach the standard of slimness without starving themselves or extreme dieting. Fair/light skin was the second most selected answer. 27.3% of the participants believed that having pale skin was what affected them the most. This is another common ideal in East Asian culture. From a young age, people are pressured to have light skin and to avoid becoming tan. Small face, high nose bridge, thin nose, and double eyelids were chosen by the rest of the participants. These are other features that are praised and loved by East Asians.

Has any relative or family member criticized your looks relating to the beauty standards?

This question was used to see if anyone’s family criticized the way they looked and compared them to the beauty standards.

Over 77.3% of the participants answered yes that they have been criticized by a relative or family member relating to the beauty standards. 22.7% of the participants responded no. This reveals that a majority of participants have dealt with their family comparing them to the beauty standards and faced negative comments from them.

If you answered yes, what did they say? If you answered no, write N/A.

Some of those who answered yes shared:

- “Most of the time my family comments on my weight saying that I weigh too much, my legs are too big etc. My grandma will also comment on how dark my skin tone gets in the summer as well. My extended family are also very fat shaming/fat phobic and will make a lot of out of pocket jokes even about people in the family about how they gained weight over some time.”

- “Look like a farmer”

- “They treated me worse when I fit the standards less. They changed their treatment towards me when I fit the standards more. They acted more kind and friendly”

- “My mom told me to get double eyelid surgery due to having one mono lid and one double eyelid”

- “Commented on my body and how i’m too big and they talk about my complexion being too dark and much darker than i was as a child”

- “Not thin enough, I’m too tan and should get rid of my freckles”

Families don’t seem to realize the comments they make towards us are usually remembered and hang over us for a long time. Whether we are young or old, what they say still affects us. Participants mentioned that their family members comment on their body a lot. They tell them if they are too fat in front of their face. One of the participants stated how their grandma would purposely fat shame them in front of their entire extended family. Another one stated how when they were a child, they would always be told that they are too big. The beauty standard is heavily focused on being thin. A slim body is constantly praised. The idea of thinness in East Asian culture is unhealthy and naturally unattainable. Being tan or too dark was seen as well in many of the answers. A participant mentioned that their family told them they looked like a farmer. This is a common comparison in East Asian culture. The idea of being tan is related to social construct. Tan was associated with the lower working class, like farmers. One participant brought up something that is actually very common in East Asian culture. They said they were treated better when they fit the standards, compared to how they were treated more poorly when they didn’t. There’s this idealization that is associated with the beauty standards that causes constant treatment differences. The way you look can affect the way you’re treated, whether it’s within your family, school, or even workplace.

Does your family affect the way you think about the beauty standards?

The question is used to gather if people’s families are impacting them as it relates to the beauty standards.

The majority of participants strongly agree and agree that their family affects the way they view beauty standards. These results show the strong hold family actually has on the idea of beauty. They are affecting the way people think of themselves. They are creating and implementing the standard into the livelihood of people. People have trouble realizing how our family affects the way we think and the way we grow as a person. These constant insecurities being told by the people that “love” us are destroying the idea of beauty and harming our health, mentally and physically.

Has a friend or peer criticized your looks relating to the beauty standards?

The question was asked to see if participants’ friends or peers were critical of their looks relating to the beauty standards.

40.9% of participants had friends or peers criticize their looks, in relation to the beauty standards. 59.1% of participants didn’t. The results were pretty split and revealed that it depends on the friends or peers that critical comments would be made about the way they look.

If you answered yes, what did they say? If you answered no, write N/A.

Some those who answered yes shared:

- “my friend would always look at me and say can you even fit that. or they would say that they are too skinny for something and that I should try it instead”

- “they told me i got a big forehead if i layered my fingers on my forehead and if it over 5 fingers i got a big forehead”

- “Now no, but before yes, they would judge my body even I was still at standard weight”

- “My legs aren’t skinny enough”

- “They called me fat”

The majority of participants were criticized by friends or peers for being “fat.” Being thin is idolized in East Asian culture. People are constantly shamed for not being thin enough. The idea of thinness is unrealistic. The comments people make are uncalled for. One participant mentioned how their friend would ask them if they can even fit a certain clothing or that they should try on a piece that is too big for their friend, which implies that since they are bigger, it should fit them. Another participant had their friend comment on their legs saying that they weren’t skinny enough. Having a small face is a part of the standard as well. One of the participants mentions how her friends point out that she has a big forehead and that they can fit all five fingers on it. Peers and friends can point out these insecurities, which tend to be related to the commonly seen beauty standards. People tend to say they are just “jokes,” but many of them tend to affect people for the rest of their lives.

Do your friends/peers affect the way you think about beauty standards?

The question is used to gain insight if peoples’ friends/peers affect the way they think about beauty standards.

The opinions for this question were divided. 50% of the participants felt neutral about friends/peers affecting the way they think about beauty standards. 40.9% of the participants strongly agreed or agreed with the question, while 9.1% disagreed. The results tend to heavily depend on who the participant has encountered before or is close with. Those that hold the beauty standards heavily can affect those around them and spread it among their friends/peers.

Have you ever felt pressured by East Asian media (Kpop, Tiktok/Douyin, Anime, Dramas, Movies, etc.) to fall into the beauty standards?

The question was used to see if the media pressures the participants to follow beauty standards.

The majority of participants, 72.7%, responded yes that the East Asian media pressured them to follow the beauty standards. This shows what we watch and are constantly shown can affect us. The things around us have this influence on our lives. With the growth of media, women and young girls continue to have access to different types of media that are instilling beauty ideals in their lives. 27.3% of the participants responded that the media didn’t pressure them to fall into beauty standards.

If you answered yes, which one and why? If you answered no, write N/A.

Some those who answered yes shared:

- “Kpop, Douyin, Anime and Dramas often made me feel like I wasn’t skinny enough to be considered attractive in East Asia”

- “Kpop: Kpop idols say really concerning things about their weight/physical appearance sometimes and since I watch it so much it becomes like a standard”

- “Douyin starts beauty trends that are gradually becoming way too unreasonable like fairy ears, infant lashes, and just the 白幼瘦 (pale, young, skinny) trends in general.”

- “Slim and lighter complexion because i thought i would be more attractive”

- “Kpop, Kdrama, mostly. In those realms of media everyone involved in it looks like a supermodel and they are so idealized they are almost fake. But watching movies where looking like that is the normal, it makes me sometimes unconsciously want to look more like them.”

Most responses from the participants focused on media like kpop, douyin and anime. Recently, kpop has grown mainstream and become a great influence on beauty standards. One participant mentioned that what kpop idols say about their own appearance and weight make them insecure of themselves. This occurs a lot, since the media we are seeing is constantly putting this idea of what is beautiful or not in our heads. We feel like we must look like those we see on television. Another participant said that even though they know most things we idolize in the media are unrealistic, they still unconsciously see themselves wanting to look like them. These images of beauty we see in the media are engraved in our minds, since they are always shown and put on a pedestal for us to follow. These ideas are related to Paulo Freire’s idea of banking in Pedagogy of the Oppressed. These frequent images of the beauty standards are constantly shown, so people can remember and follow it. Douyin is another source of media. Trends relating to the beauty standards tend to grow and be heavily influenced by it. A participant said that the beauty trends on the app are becoming way too unreasonable and far from reality. The way that unrealistic ideals are being shown and popular to a large audience is extremely harmful. People are pressured to think that what they see is how they should look. They want to change their appearance to ways that are unachievable naturally.

Does the media affect the way you think about the beauty standards?

The question was asked to see if participants are affected by the media in relation to beauty standards.

The majority of participants strongly agreed and agreed that the media affected the way they think about beauty standards. The media has become a part of our daily lives. We always see what society wants to push onto us. The ideas of beauty have always been a topic of it, creating standards that are achievable to most. The rest of the participants felt neutral about the topic.

Has anyone compared you to East Asian media (Kpop, Tiktok/Douyin, Anime, Dramas, Movies, etc.)?

This question was used to see if participants were compared to figures in East Asian media.

The majority of participants have not been compared to East Asian media. Only 36.4% responded yes that they have been compared before.

If you answered yes, who/what did they compare you to and what did they say? If you answered no, write N/A.

- “compared me to characters due to hair and body type.”

- “Someone once said I look like Jennie from blackpink. I guess even though it’s a good comparison in my opinion, it’s still fitting me into K-pop beauty standards.”

- “One of them thought I look like an influencer on douyin. I think that’s probably because I have a really fair skin”

- “they tell me to cut my hair like this, wear my clothes like a certain celebrity, or get double eyelid surgery”

Comparisons with figures in East Asian media can be seen as a double-edged sword. They can be seen both positively or negatively. It’s a compliment to look like them, since they are the standards of beauty. However at the same time, it creates the concept that pushes the ideals on us more. If we are compared to an idol or celebrity, we would want to make sure that we look the same or even try more to fit into the standards. There’s this internalized idea in our minds that makes us want to look more like them. A participant mentioned how they were compared to a kpop idol named Jennie, and felt like they were being compared to the standards. Another participant said someone told them they looked like an influencer on Douyin. These comments show how people are creating these comparisons to the beauty standards towards normal people. This puts a box around a person, since it pressures them to want to look like the beauty figure or fit more into the ideals. They are being praised for it, which instills the idea even more on them. One participant mentioned that people told them to look like certain celebrities, even telling them to get surgery. This is the toxicity of comparisons because people tell others to look like another to be considered beautiful.

Which one has pressured the beauty standards/affected you the most?

The question was included in the survey to see what participants feel that they are most pressured by to fit into the beauty standards.

45.5% of the participants chose family as the ones who pressured the beauty standards and affected them the most. This shows that people’s own families are the ones behind their own insecurities. These beauty standards are told to us at a young age, which we end up growing with. We feel this pressure to look and be considered beautiful. Our own family members are the ones telling us to change the way we look to fit this ideal of beauty. 36.4% of the participants chose media. The growth of media has led to the constant pressure of ideals being shown to women and young girls. It’s difficult to escape the constant comparisons to people who are portraying themselves as the standard and see people praise them for it. The media also shows the horrid parts of society and how treatment varies with looks. 18.2% of the participants chose friends/peers. The influence from those around us can affect the way we think about ourselves. Comments made by friends and peers can be detrimental, especially with the focus on beauty standards.

These universal experiences that women and young girls face with the beauty standards are still constantly being seen today. People tend to believe that the media is the main source behind inflicting the ideals of beauty on society. The survey helped me realize that behind most of the toxicity of the beauty standards come from the people we are surrounded by. We don’t even realize that all these pressures to be considered come from those we are close with. The majority of the participants felt that their family or friends/peers were the ones to pressure the beauty standards on them the most. Our family is who we grow and learn from. The internal pressure of these standards will continue with us, especially if they are taught and implied at a young age. Friends and peers influence the way we see ourselves as well. We want to feel “acceptance” with them. Being told by your own family or friends that you aren’t attractive enough is harmful. The ones telling us to act on these ideals are the ones we trust and rely on. We feel more pain from those we are close with. We can watch the media and feel this pressure, but it isn’t the same. These spread of ideals tend to result from a hegemonic society. These beauty standards have become so normalized, that people have trouble realizing the unrealisticness of it. People tend to always blame the media in the end, avoiding the truth of how society has become and internalized these ideas. The pressure of it all coming from those we are close with, originating from ideals that continue to be passed down generations to come.