WP2: Game flashback
I’m not a typical gamer, but gaming has dramatically impacted me over the past five years. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but the annual report from steam for 2022, which just ended, shows over 4,500 hours of total play time over the last five years, with over 100 games played.
Honestly, I didn’t expect to be able to play the game for so long. In the beginning, the game was just a tool for me to soothe my mood and release the pressure, but over the years, it seemed to be an internal part of me, even though it had been nearly a year since I opened the game website frequently.
It’s amazing how looking at the game statistics and dazzling covers can transport me back to the initial excitement and emotions I experienced when first starting in front of the screen. This reflection has allowed me to understand better how gaming has impacted my life over the past five years and influenced my upbringing.
Let us begin.
2019
My lack of self-confidence and feelings of inferiority made connecting with my peers during high school challenging. Their discussions about the latest trends in fashion or popular culture were topics I found uninteresting or intimidating, leaving me feeling disconnected from the group.
It’s all Greek to me.
Despite feeling disconnected from my peers in high school, I found solace in playing games to connect with others. The Witcher 3 was a transformative experience, providing a thrilling adventure that allowed me to immerse myself in Geralt’s world. It captured my attention, making me feel more active and engaged. It gave me common ground with some of my classmates, providing a starting point for conversation and helping me build deeper connections with others.
2020
The arrival of the novel coronavirus upended all my plans, and campus life abruptly stopped. With online studies as the only option, I resigned to immersing myself in PC games. Little did I know that fate had other plans, and my life took an unexpected turn when a classmate — someone with whom I had only exchanged a few words before — introduced me to CSGO. Surprisingly, this newfound hobby became a source of joy and camaraderie during isolation and uncertainty.
A few friends in a discord group spent that time in a thousand rounds of CSGO. As I improved my marksmanship skills in the game, I also learned how to cooperate better with my teammates and connect with others, bringing more joy to our shared experience.
While it may sound ridiculous, CSGO has given me more than just a fun gaming experience.
2021
This year has been a revelation for me. I have found myself surprisingly free from the pain and disappointment of the past, and I have greater expectations for myself in the future.
2021 was supposed to be a year of hope for gamers, with the highly anticipated release of Cyberpunk 2077. However, the game turned out to be a disappointment, much like how the year was for me. The pressure of college applications and several exam failures crushed me.
I wondered if I was spending too much time trying to attain relationships I couldn’t have before. It felt like I had developed some form of PTSD, where the things I couldn’t get in the past were making me crave them in the present.
2022
In 2021, it felt like a beast was trying to destroy me, but everything changed after receiving an offer from USC in 2022. That night, I felt like I was going crazy with emotions, and the pain of the past was swept away like a tornado, leaving quietly.
I can still vividly remember that day. It was raining. I got drunk, looked at the computer screen, and tried to play the game, but I turned on football manager 2020, which sounds like bullshit.
The significance of this game in my life is immeasurable. It’s a football game that has accompanied me for nearly 1500 hours over the past four years, and even today, I still find myself playing it. This game has taught me the importance of companionship and how to cherish the people who stick by your side for a long time. It’s made me realize the value of those who are always there for me, which is why I keep coming back to it.
2023
Since entering college, I have focused more on experiencing life and socializing with friends, and games have become less of a priority. However, one game that stands out is Detroit: Become Human. It made me contemplate more profound concepts like human morality, ethical limitations, and emotional connections. This game would have been uninteresting to me five years ago, with its lack of action-packed gameplay and simple dialogue options. However, the cinematic storytelling and the impact of my choices throughout the game made me an unforgettable experience.
Maybe it’s because I did grow up.
I am grateful to these games for accompanying me from adolescence to adulthood and helping me grow from seeking friendship to exploring deeper aspects of life. They have positively influenced my attitude, values, and identity. Without them, I cannot imagine who I would be today.
I want to express my appreciation for these games and the person I was in the past who had the courage and curiosity to explore and experience the world through the lens of gaming. Thanks for shaping me into who I am today.
