WP4: Embracing All of My Identity
The summer before my senior year of high school, I had a “conversation” with my dad about college applications. I wouldn’t call it a real conversation as that implies both parties were talking. While my dad asked me questions about where I would be applying, I stared down at my hands and fiddled with my rings. I gave him the occasional nod of the head or a shrug of the shoulders. In frustration my dad said, “Adithi seriously? This is important, I need you to talk. Are you this quiet with your friends?” The answer was no. In fact, I was quite lively with my friends.
Throughout my entire life, I have always compartmentalized the different parts of my identity. I essentially adopted a different persona when I was with my immediate family, my relatives, my school friends, my teammates, and my band peers. I was always terrified of the idea of blending my various identities, so I was never able to be my authentic self. Looking back on my childhood, I never even questioned why I felt this way. I had blindly let societal expectations dictate my behavior. Subsequently, I changed my actions based on who I was with.
The writing that I have done this semester finally gave me the opportunity to think analytically about what has bothered me for so long — stereotypes. It encouraged me to figure out why they exist, why people allow them to have so much influence, and how they can be dismantled.
With each writing project, I dug deeper and deeper into stereotypes. I started off the semester with WP1 where I developed a framework to deconstruct exactly how stereotypes are bolstered by society. This was the first time that I was prompted to structure my writing with a framework. This originally overwhelmed me as I had the impression that this would require extensive research. I only had my own experiences to rely on, and I didn’t think that anyone would care for them. However, once I started to think about why stereotypes made me feel confined to a single identity, the framework came to me naturally.
With the use of frameworks, I finally understood the value in writing with my own voice. By combining my personal experiences with research and analysis, I recognized that I had the power to teach, rather than just inform, my audience. At this point in the semester, I began writing to communicate my thoughts and feelings, not just because I needed to get the work done.
In WP2, I discussed my own experiences with stereotypes and explored the personal impact they can have. In the interview that I conducted, I discussed my relationship with my Indian identity, which is something that I had never done before. While I was initially scared to be so vulnerable, it was surprisingly therapeutic. In admitting how I pushed away my Indian identity, I was finally able to start the process of healing. This project is what made me realize that I do not need to confine myself to a single identity as determined by society.
This project also gave me the motivation to further explore the topic of stereotypes since it helped me realize that so many people suffer from them. In addition to interviewing myself, I talked to two of my friends about their experiences with stereotypes and their representation in the media. By giving them a platform to share their perspectives, I found that their experiences were similar to mine. This reassured me that other people would benefit from my work, so I was more inclined to put in the effort and create a valuable contribution.
As the first two writing projects helped me overcome my blind acceptance of stereotypes, WP3 gave me the opportunity to think about how to dismantle them. This was the first time I felt that what I had to say was valuable. All the prior writing that I did in high school was about topics I didn’t really care about, so I never understood the impact that writing can have. This was the first piece of writing that I felt could actually help people. It gave me an overwhelming sense of accomplishment knowing that this exploration not only helped me cope with how I have been affected by stereotypes, but it can also be used to help others overcome the oppression caused by these notions.
Additionally, as an introvert, the writing that I’ve done this semester has allowed me to convey the feelings that I normally wouldn’t say out loud. In writing my Medium posts, I was able to come to terms with how my parents’ troubled relationship affected me. I have always been hesitant to talk about my parents. However, after seeing how my writing about stereotypes made me feel empowered, I decided to take the risk and write about it. By writing this post, I was finally taking control over a part of my life that I had suppressed. I felt a sense of closure knowing that my identity is not defined by my past experiences.
Overall, the writing that I have done has taught me two things about myself: my perspectives have value and I do not need to confine myself to a single identity. This semester’s writing allowed me the opportunity to go further than the superficial exploration I had done in high school. By having the freedom to write in my own voice and about something that has personally affected me, I now understand that my experiences matter. Additionally, by conducting a deep analysis on stereotypes and how they are used as a form of oppression, I have given myself the confidence to embrace every aspect of my identity.
