WP4: My Voice MATTERS

For the first time in my academic journey, WRIT 150 has helped me find my true voice. Not only has this class ENCOURAGED me and EMBRACED my voice, but it has also CHALLENGED me. Challenged me to discuss what truly matters to me and to speak up for the countless Latinx who feel voiceless.

Previously, I would steer away from discussing “touchy” subjects at all costs because I felt like I couldn’t. That I couldn’t voice my opinions and write about what mattered to me because the institution would punish me. I was restricted and felt voiceless. I wasn’t given any freedom to write about what I wanted, I was forced to essentially regurgitate meaningless and useless crap. My voice was held captive and I was brainwashed to believe this way of writing was the only acceptable way.

Now, I feel FEARLESS and ready to conquer the world. WRIT 150 has given me the confidence to uproot the institution. I understand more than ever, the importance of speaking up. Not only for myself but for the brown girls struggling to be heard. We ALL deserve to be heard. After writing about dismantling colorism and the colorist hierarchy, I feel POWERFUL and UNSTOPPABLE. I’m making a difference for my community and I couldn’t be more PROUD.

Writing this semester has been a delight, and I don’t think I’ve ever said that about academic writing before. Though the writing process was a bit challenging in the beginning, it was very cathartic. After I unlearned the do’s and don’ts the institution pushed for and relearned what makes writing truly MEANINGFUL, I began a new writing journey. One where I learned to embrace my Latina identity and my Indigenous features.

Writing isn’t easy. It’s quite challenging, but it’s meant to be. Writing is meant to push you to question anything and everything. Especially when the topic matters to you, something that is personal to you. Writing about colorism was very personal to me. I challenged myself, more than I had ever before, to find answers. I knew that I needed to find answers more than anything, I knew answers would free me. I NEEDED to be freed. However, it’s easier said than done. Writing about colorism brought up years of trauma and pain, but it was worth it. I found my answers and I couldn’t be more relieved. I did what my light-skinned family and community couldn’t, I admitted to being in pain. And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed.

WP1 helped me come to terms with the discrimination I experienced growing up. That colorism is indeed real and wreaking havoc on the lives of darker-skinned Latinx. WP2 allowed me to reach a new level of vulnerability and honesty with not only myself but my loved ones as well. I was able to learn so much about my loved ones and their experiences with colorism. WP3 pushed me to vocalize the unbearable suffering I have experienced due to the isolation created by the colorist hierarchy. This socially constructed system continues to normalize parents causing their children pain.

These writing projects encouraged me to start therapy. I knew therapy would help me discuss everything in much more detail, my experience with colorism was merely the tip of the iceberg. WRIT 150 has provided me with an outlet between therapy sessions, and I couldn’t be more GRATEFUL. I intend to continue writing like this, to continue using my voice because I know there are people out who are struggling with the same thing. They aren’t alone and I want them to know that. I’m READY to continue this writing journey of mine with the platform I have created. My work truly means so much to me and I couldn’t be more EXCITED to help more of the Latinx community.

Ultimately, this class helped me discover my true self–the Michelle that wants to help her community, the Michelle that isn’t afraid to uproot the system, and the Michelle that is willing to go the extra mile to find answers. Writing has helped me break out of my shell and given me the CONFIDENCE to tell my story. WRIT 150 was an experience like none other, it taught me that my voice MATTERS and that I can use it to EMPOWER others.

Thank you, Professor Dissinger. Thank you for BELIEVING in me, and giving me the FREEDOM to tell my story. You’re the BEST.