WP4: Writing to Understand who I Am

Identity is unimaginably complex and so difficult to quantify or label. Before this class, if you had asked me how I identify, you may have gotten at best, a half-baked answer about how I’m a USC student, or at worst, a confused look. The whole concept of identity was vague, blurry, some sort of elusive concept- I knew I had an identity, as we all do. But the hard part is simply putting it into words, trying to explain how I’m a USC student and I’m also a feminist, and a second-generation American, and a CS major. There were parts of my identity assigned to me at birth, and then there are aspects that I picked up along the way to becoming who I am now, but I couldn’t understand any of it substantially. I was lacking a key tool to explore this concept: writing.

Writing has played an immense role in allowing me to unpack my intersectional identity, and leverage my unique perspectives to contribute to intellectual discourse.

Writing gives me the power to finally recognize the intricately woven aspects of my identity, and these components of “who I am” which have shaped every aspect of my worldview. In the first few weeks of Writing 150, we learned about Freir’s work Pedagogy of the Oppressed, and we took a dive into exploring how language enables the oppressed to work toward liberation. There was one specific quote from the introductory section of this work that struck a chord with me, and I strongly feel that this statement helped establish a tone for the rest of my writing pieces in this class. Freir states, “one cannot reduce the analysis of racism to social class, one cannot understand racism fully without a class analysis, for to do one at the expense of the other is to fall prey into sectarianist position, which is as despicable as the racism that we need to reject” (Freir 15). This statement clarified the concept of identity for me significantly, helping me see how useless it would be to analyze solely one component of my identity.

First of all, I began to appreciate the uniqueness of my intersectional identity, and how this allowed me to make valuable contributions to existing discourse. Looking at my identity as just traits, I can say that I am female, a young adult, CS major, second-generation Indian, upper middle class, raised in Orange County, able-bodied, straight, cis, an only child, a college student, quatrolingual. Yet none of these categories form my identity; rather they contribute little pieces which all overlap with each other. For instance, being a woman and being a second gen Indian have two different sets of attributes, oppressions, and social groups that come with them; but when they intersect, I am in an entirely unique circle as Indian women specifically face unique circumstances. Women are often subject to discrimination and sexism in general, and second-generation Indians are often faced with oppressions such as racism or colorism. But being an Indian woman combines these two experiences, and oppressions, producing experiences unique to Indian women which is not just the sum of each experience. Recognizing this uniqueness was the first step in using writing to facilitate discourse on my identity. I see this as a two-way cycle: because of my complex intersectionality and the resulting uniqueness of my experiences, I have a lot of potential and valuable perspectives to add to existing narratives. Conversely, joining these discourses through writing has allowed me to better unpack my identity itself. In both of these ways, it is explicitly clear how writing is a fundamental tool in exploring my unique identity and allowing me to leverage my personal voice as my biggest strength.

Figure 1. A Venn diagram representation I created (via Canva) to illustrate my identity as an overlap of hegemonic labels assigned to me at birth. Some of these labels foster privilege in my life because they align with the hegemonic worldview (such as being straight, cisgender, and able-bodied). Others make me more likely to face discrimination or oppression. However, I can only start to define my identity when these are analyzed comprehensively through writing.

Observing my progression from WP1 to WP3, I can clearly identify a change in my writing voice: a positive change, by which I gradually became more aware of the intricately related aspects of my identity. I began improving my skill of leveraging writing to unpack banked concepts I learned in relation to my identity, and this facilitated a deeper, more complex understanding of the factors influencing my view on life.

In my WP1, I studied an intersection of one of my core identity aspects: being a woman in tech. I always knew that there was some discrimination I was facing as a result of my personal experiences, but I was unable to pinpoint the specific factors and mechanisms allowing this. In WP1, I unpacked this issue through writing by studying how women often need to engage in code-switching in order to thrive in toxic, male-dominated environments. Masculinity is an identity trait that is valued in these patriarchal “bro” cultures, and feminine-presenting women are not set up to thrive unless they can effectively code-switch to assimilate into the hegemony. Writing this paper allowed me to communicate this issue with my audience, and understand the complexity of sexism in the tech workspace. Looking at this analysis retrospectively, I can see that there can be even more dimensions added to this analysis: I’m not just a woman in tech, but a woman of color in tech, and this comes with unique struggles that I would face in a tech workplace setting consisting of predominantly white males. Adding in more components of my identity further narrows down the niche that my experiences are relevant to, emphasizing just how valuable our individual identities and perspectives can be in driving works of writing.

I began to explore the intersection between ethnicity and sexism at a deeper level in my WP2, and investigated the role of Bollywood cinema in influencing the identities of second-generation Indian-American girls. I took a look at the sexist rhetoric that these movies propagated, and archived interviews with many of my second-generation Indian American friends to understand their views of these movies and how these movies impacted their identities growing up. Through writing, I was able to capture the impact of skewed, misogynistic cinema on individual lives and explore the distinct stories of oppression and “otherness” that each girl had to share. I was able to use writing to analyze our complex identities taking factors of ethnicity, second-generation status, and gender into account. Most importantly, I was able to finally get the jumble of thoughts and feelings about this highly personal topic into actual words- words that I could use to communicate my take on this issue to the world.

I have to say that I am most proud of my work in WP3 where I continued using my unique perspectives and intersectionality to flavor my academic writing. WP3, being a more academic/research paper, was a turning point in my writing career. I began to fully appreciate the role that my voice played in the paper and research, and I finally was able to distance myself from the notion that academic writing is detached with no human voice behind it. I still remember being told in elementary and middle school essay writing courses to never use the word “I” or “me,” in formal writing. Inherently, this exclusive use of the third person was a major roadblock preventing me from exploring my identity and using my unique perspective to contribute to existing discourse. WP3, however, went a long way in undoing this mentality. I focused on the social issue of how deep-rooted misogyny in Indian culture has transcended cultural boundaries, analyzing how and why problematic beliefs have evolved to fit into immigrant Indian households in Western society. The intersectionality I focused on here was similar to that of WP3, however, I also spent time analyzing the intersection of other components such as caste and skin color which further complicated oppressions faced by Indian-American women. I drew information from a multitude of academic sources, citing feminist scholars and demographers. Yet throughout the paper, I never lost my own voice. I did not fear taking an active stance in my writing: instead, I embraced it and used my own experiences to drive my understanding of my own identity.

There is value, and there is power, in being able to define my identity through writing. Writing gives me the power to unpack my identity and leverage this to contribute unique, highly personal ideas to discourse. Reflecting on the ideas of Freir, without the tool of writing, I would be surely more vulnerable to oppression because I would not be able to articulately understand my identity and how that shapes my experiences in life. For example, after writing WP2 I am more capable of recognizing subtle sexism and misogyny in my own family and friend circles, and working against it using communication and language. At the very core, this is the most important role that writing plays in my life: it is a tool that allows me to understand and leverage my complex identity, the cards which I have been dealt in life. Writing allows me to recognize both my privileges and oppressions. It allows me to understand the uniquely interconnected factors of my identity that affect my perception of the world and how the world perceives me. I am capable of navigating the world and fighting for my justice simply through the power of articulating my identity via the written word.

Works Cited

Paulo, Freire. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. The Continuum International Publishing Group Inc., 2005.