WP1: Casualties of Divorce on a Child’s Mind
The mind of a child is incredibly susceptible to the information it is surrounded by and the negative experiences from their home will affect them. The anxiety a child experiences from their parent’s divorce can be controlled at the parental level. Children that are involved in the complications of their parent’s divorce will have a more difficult experience in social development and overcoming behavioral issues, resulting in the development of social anxiety disorders. I was very involved in my parent’s divorce, serving as a form of communication between them. Being deeply involved in their complications severely impacted my mental health, taking away from normal, positive experiences that most kids have. Years down the line, my involvement in these situations was a reason for the development of social anxiety and other behavioral problems. Parents must make sure to exclude children from their divorce process yet continue to provide them with a sufficient level of attention. Unnecessarily involving a child in the divorce process takes away from the ability to experience a thriving, stable childhood, affecting their perception of relationships, and resulting and can result in social anxiety and other psychiatric disorders.
As a child gets involved in the divorce process, the parents put their children in a position that can prove to be detrimental to their mental health and perception of family. Being as receptive as it is, a child’s mind will develop in accordance with what it is surrounded by. My parents seemed to lose sight of their divorce affected me as I got more involved. They did things that benefitted themselves, but at the cost of detrimental damage to their children’s health. Playing a contributing role to my parent’s divorce skewed my perception of an intimate relationship because I had no positive experiences associated with my parent’s relationship. Constant shouting, verbal degradation, and malicious ploys were typical situations in my everyday home life.
I learned all aspects of my parent’s failed relationship. Such experiences cause children to grow weary of relationships because they do not want to fall into similar scenarios that they witness. A child builds their ideals and values through childhood experiences, taking note of their parent’s relationship as a guide. Positive parental relationships provide a solid path for a child, allowing them to structure their own relationships. A child being exposed to a negative experience leaves them with no guidance on how to conduct a relationship, creating a sense of caution. Alan Ravitz, a clinical psychiatrist from the Child Mind Institute writes to all parents to consider what is important for the children, not themselves. He explains that the rights of children can be breached and can result in psychological damage if children are not able to think for themselves (Ravitz, 2021). Children should be able to take positive experiences away from their parents. Not being able to do so confuses and will make its way into adulthood and the relationships the child will be involved in.
Social anxiety is a very common disorder that children of divorce suffer from, stemming from their family setting. It alters a child’s perception of normal social activity, causing a prolonged development of social abilities. A study of child psychology and education found that family is the most basic social foundation of any person and the altering of a supportive family environment will have a significant impact on a child’s social abilities and personality development (Tahirović, Demir, 2017). Children grow to be unsure about their social roles and ways to make personal choices and decisions. Rather than addressing confusion with their parent’s guidance, they are more likely to resolve confusion on their own knowledge which leads to more errors and a prolonged learning curve (Tahirović, Demir, 2017).
The National Library of Medicine reported that marital instability is linked with risk factors, one of the most important being natural/forced separation from parents (D’Onofrio, Emery, 2019). This ties in directly with social anxiety because of a child’s need to be nurtured by both parental figures. When there is a lack of parental support, a child feels neglected and worries about familial problems. In my situation, my parents have not spoken a word to each other in 10 years, making me the messenger between the two. When I turned eighteen, my mother forced me to flee from my dad’s house, causing a great deal of trauma as the separation between my parents continued to grow. This posed problems as I grew because it planted a skewed conception of communication, playing a part in my lack of developed communication skills. It increased social awkwardness as I always recalled the faulty communication between my parents. It felt like I had two families and two completely different lives that grew to be mentally exhausting. The importance of proper care and nurture for children in similar situations cannot be stressed enough; stability in a child’s family, regardless of divorce, is important in sufficient development so anxiety disorders do not result.
One’s childhood plays a large role in defining who they are today. A child’s involvement in divorce and other family complications alter the stable environment a child needs to thrive. This leads to skewed perceptions, social anxiety, and other psychological disorders. Divorce held a defining role in my childhood, affecting my personal communication development, adolescent social skills, and anxiety. I’ve grown to understand how receptive children are to what surrounds them, drawing in every experience as a puzzle piece in finding their true selves. Children must be nurtured in times like these because it will significantly alter their developmental process. They should be separated from their parent’s issues and be provided with a stable environment that will guide them on a supportive path to mental and physical adulthood. Prioritizing children in divorce scenarios is imperative in ensuring growth and development.
Works Cited
Clinic, Mayo. 2018. “Anxiety Disorders.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. May 4. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/syc-20350961#:~:text=Anxiety%20disorder%20due%20to%20a,%E2%80%94%20even%20ordinary%2C%20routine%20issues.
D’Onofrio, Brian, and Robert Emery. 2019. “Parental Divorce or Separation and Children’s Mental Health.” World Psychiatry : Official Journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA). John Wiley & Sons, Inc. February. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6313686/#wps20590-bib-0002.
Ravitz, Alan. 2021. “Don’t Let Your Kids Be Casualties of Divorce.” Child Mind Institute. September 27. https://childmind.org/article/dont-let-your-kids-be-casualties-of-divorce/.
Tahirović, Senija, and Gokce Demir. 2017. “Influence of Parental Divorce on Anxiety Level of Adolescents.” IntechOpen, December 20. https://www.intechopen.com/chapters/57391.
