Introvert Hangover and a Diminished State of Mental Well-being.
Introvert hangover. While there is no official definition for the term, it resonates heavily within the introverted community. It is the culmination of the after-effects introverts experience following an overwhelming amount of socialization. The phrase can be likened to a hangover one gets from drinking too much alcohol (hence its name), and the symptoms include mental fatigue, physical fatigue, irritability, and increased sensitivity among other things. According to an article written by Darcey Pitman, “introvert hangover” describes the sensation of feeling drained that many introverts experience after prolonged social interaction and the need for an isolated recharge that follows (talkspace.com). As indicated by Pitman, if an introvert fails to access the proper settings for self-care, then mental health issues can ensue. The introvert can feel inundated and anxious, which quickly leads to irritability and fatigue. If this becomes a frequent experience, it can cause prolonged mental health deficits.
There are a number of causes for introvert hangover, including overstimulation, too much time socializing, and overexertion. These will be discussed in detail later, but first, it is necessary to understand what it means to be introverted in and of itself. Introverted people are internal processors, meaning they turn inward for energy and value being alone. They also tend to be very prudent, prefer to observe, and have a natural instinct to reflect rather than outwardly engage. Before continuing on, it is important to note that the purpose of this text is not to imply that all introverts will inevitably become mentally unwell if they aren’t already. Rather, it is to highlight the unique ways in which introverts can easily find themselves in states of diminished mental well-being. By understanding how this occurs, introverts can not only find comfort in knowing that their experiences are common and justified, but they can also better equip themselves for how to recognize warning signs and unfavorable behaviors that lead to introvert hangover.
Not surprisingly, the above-mentioned introverted characteristics are the main reasons why introverts are often misunderstood. Due to the fact that they prefer to keep to themselves, people tend to misconstrue their motives and behaviors. Most commonly, an introvert’s quietness is wrongly perceived as disinterest. This contributes to the widely held misconception that introverts are antisocial, judgmental, and rude, which is generally not the case. In a TikTok uploaded by user @dustinpoynter, he acts out a skit as an introvert under the premise “if introverts were brutally honest.” The video illustrates a common experience between an introvert (Dustin) and a non-introvert. The non-introvert accuses Dustin of being angry or sad simply because he isn’t saying anything. In reality, Dustin is content. However, like many non-introverted people, the non-introvert in this video believes that Dustin should be actively engaging or outwardly expressing as a way to show emotional satisfaction.
This type of expectation is what leads to introverts feeling guilty. It prompts an internal question of “What am I doing wrong?” and makes them wonder why there is a disconnect between them and the other person or persons. According to Elizabeth Balder’s graduate student research paper, “Since introverts tend to be observant people, they are likely to feel guilty and anxious when thinking they may have upset others” (16). Essentially, introverts feel culpable for not connecting with people in the way they need, prefer, or understand, and, because they are internal processors, introverted people tend to carry the weight of this guilt until they can think themselves through it. This takes up a lot of mental space and, thus, manifests itself as a key attribute of introvert hangover. The longer they hold onto this sentiment, the more mentally fatigued they become, which ultimately leads to a diminished state of mental well-being.
To add fuel to the fire, introverts live in an extroverted world. It is very apparent that extroverts are preferred over introverts because of their natural inclination to engage and interact rather than to observe and listen. Consequently, introverted people routinely feel overlooked and undervalued. In author Susan Cain’s Ted Talk titled “The power of introverts,” she says that in Western society, and in the United States especially, the “man of action” (extrovert) is favored over the “man of contemplation” (introvert). Cain explains that in the twentieth century, the United States evolved from an agricultural economy to a world of “big business,” which prompted a cultural shift in its value system (youtube.com). As society became more fast-paced and crowded, favor shifted towards the “man of action,” who is personable, magnetic, and charming, thereby diminishing the capabilities of the “man of contemplation.” This truth serves as the catalyst for much of the discrimination introverts face today and the mental processes they undergo as a result.
Essentially, the innate strengths introverted people possess for adept listening, critical thinking, and heightened creativity are overshadowed by the dominant traits extroverts typically express, including strong socialization skills, charisma, and assertiveness. This may not seem like a big deal, but it has a snowball effect. Introverted people are less likely to be considered for promotions and leadership positions because they are deemed antisocial, lackluster, and passive, which postures them as undesirable team leaders and executives. This causes introverts to feel unappreciated and wonder whether or not they are “good enough.” The profound contemplation of such a question is an after-effect of introvert hangover. Unfortunately, introverted people tend to fixate on unclear or unsettling topics because they want to reason their way through them. In situations like these, they may dwell on self-criticisms for a long time, leading to a downturn in their self-esteem and confidence.
Many introverts make an effort to avoid the aforementioned circumstances by choosing to act like extroverts. They conceal their natural tendencies to ponder and reflect and instead behave in gregarious ways. This inauthentic behavior stems from the pressure introverts feel to conform. In social settings, introverted people are urged to be talkative and outwardly engage with other people as a way to fit in and not seem aloof, disinterested, or rude. However, in reality, their innate way of engaging is mostly by listening and observing, especially when the environment feels chaotic or overstimulating. The Psych2Go YouTube channel and Balder’s research paper both provide insight on this situation. According to the former, “The pressure to be outgoing and constantly socialize can be draining for introverts,” and the latter states that “Introverts tend to lose hope when pressured to go against their natural temperament (youtube.com; scholarworks.uni.edu). Putting on a façade of extroverted characteristics forces introverted people to suppress who they truly are and causes overexertion, ultimately leading to exhaustion. In these situations, the introvert hangover can take effect even before the introverts have left the social setting. They may start to mentally disengage from their conversations, have trouble focusing, experience boredom, and become easily annoyed. This will make them increasingly eager to access solitary refuge, which is not always available in the moment. Moreover, even though solitude is a great way for introverts to recharge, it can also have dangerous effects if utilized improperly.
Depending on what mindset and attitude introverts enter their private space with, solitude can enhance their mental state or hurt it. Most of the time, solitude is advantageous for introverted people because it gives them the opportunity to recharge mentally, physically, and emotionally. However, there is a key difference between taking space for self-care and isolating oneself. According to an article written by family addiction specialists Lin and Aaron Sternlicht, several mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety thrive on loneliness (familyaddictionspecialist.com). Thus, too much alone time can be detrimental. If used as a way to avoid others, excessive solitude can actually increase social anxiety, making introverted people even more reluctant to engage with others. The distance created between them and other individuals can also result in loss of friendships and a weakened support system.
Furthermore, solitude allows introverts to dwell in their own thoughts and opinions. As stated in a Psych2Go YouTube video titled “The Dark Side of Introverts,” “Introverts have higher levels of electrical activity in their brains,” which is a primary reason why they habitually overthink and feel emotions more deeply than others (youtube.com). This directly relates to another point made in the Sternlicht article, which states, “Overthinking, especially in relation to negative thoughts, compounded by harboring such thoughts due to seclusion,” can lead to introverts bottling up their emotions, which can further trigger thoughts of guilt, worthlessness, and hopelessness, subsequently exposing them to more mental health issues (familyaddictionspecialist.com). In this way, prolonged solitude can be extremely harmful for introverted people because they are deep internal processors, and solitude gives them ample opportunity for self-reflection and self-criticism. Without having someone around to offer a brighter perspective, the negativity can pull them into an even darker place. During this mental state, introvert hangover can be amplified and quickly become overbearing.
When introverted people expose themselves to prolonged social engagement, introvert hangover presents itself as the consequence and is fueled through natural introverted characteristics. The introverts’ inclinations to observe, listen, and reflect makes them highly susceptible to overthinking, self-criticism, and rumination. This creates an intricately webbed connection between introverted traits and a diminished state of mental wellbeing. While it is true that introverts are innately gifted with critical thinking skills and introspection, these same attributes can induce poor mental health if not monitored properly. That being said, when introverts understand the ways in which they are uniquely vulnerable to harmful mental states, they can make informed decisions to help prevent and mitigate such experiences.
Work Cited
“5 Reasons Why Introverts Burnout More Quickly Than Extroverts.” YouTube, uploaded by Psych2Go, 9 October 2023, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUrTH0uS3Fg&t=28s.
Balder, Elizabeth A., “Introversion : relationship with mental well-being” (2007). Graduate Research Papers. 301.
Dustin Scott Poynter [@dustinpoynter]. “Part 30 | IF INTROVERTS WERE BRUTALLY HONEST.” TikTok, 13 July 2023, https://www.tiktok.com/@dustinpoynter/video/7255464416638962986?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7185086366485153326.
Pittman, Darcey. “Introverts vs Extroverts: Do They Handle Mental Health Differently?” Talkspace, 4 May 2021, www.talkspace.com/blog/introverts-vs-extroverts/.
Sternlicht. “How Mental Health Issues May Differ among Introverts and Extroverts.” How Mental Health Issues May Differ Among Introverts and Extroverts: Family Addiction Specialist: Addiction Counselor, www.familyaddictionspecialist.com/blog/how-mental-health-issues-may-differ-among-introverts-and-extroverts.
“The Dark Side of Introverts.” YouTube, uploaded by Psych2Go, 27 June 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlpezhtrATQ&t=28s.
“The power of introverts | Susan Cain.” YouTube, uploaded by TED, 2 March 2012, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4&t=28s.
