WP1: Walking On
When I opened the email in the middle of my Astronomy 100 class, my dream of becoming part of USC football had come true, “After speaking with our coaching staff, we would like to extend you all an invitation to participate as walk-on members of our football program — congratulations!” The phrase “congratulations” would echo throughout my head as I was physically shaking. Immediately, I left class, calling every family member and close friend I could think of.
That excitement would carry over for about a year until the beginning of my second season. That joy was now finite, and reality was setting in. The facade that clouded my experience was now wearing away. The once-ignored insults, slight jabs, and the subtle reminders of my status on the team were becoming more and more prominent and obvious in my life.
Walk-ons are invisible in a way; they are dispensable, and as a competent human, that is not a feeling you enjoy. You understand your purpose on the team very early on, but trying to climb the ladder of a Division 1 program in that position is next to impossible, a reality that is almost agreed upon amongst the coaching staff, like an unspoken/ It is understandable; however, why waste your time with someone you didn’t recruit and the program did not invest money into? It’s a hard pill to swallow, but we learned our place and eventually found the silver lining.
In the first episode of the Walk-on podcast and autoethnography, I will follow the lives and stories of the often-overlooked athletes in Division 1 football, the walk-ons. I introduce two loud personalities, L Simpson and Dan Fulton, fellow walk-ons who will tell those stories and perspectives, which offer a multifaceted view of life as a walk-on.
The Unrepresented Lives of Walk-Ons
The daily life of a walk-on athlete is the same as any scholarship athlete's, just without the praise and thanks. The schedule is a relentless cycle that will take a large mental toll on anyone. Imagine waking up at 5 a.m. to work out and go to film, followed by a struggle to stay awake in class, only to return to the field in the afternoon, with minimal time to complete your homework due at midnight. Though a day in the life may be similar between the two, scholarship athletes have many benefits that walk-ons do not get to share. Those on scholarship scholarships enjoy additional benefits like travel, gear, and financial support.
Being a walk-on also means you must do what you are told; often, we find ourselves on the sidelines during practices, our participation limited to our scout periods, and our contributions overlooked. The coaches frown upon great play from a scout player as they usually have to re-run the play and give a different look so the A-team can succeed.
Yet, amidst these challenges, a unique aspect of our journey was the unbreakable bond of brotherhood that formed among us. In a way, we trauma-bonded. Our scout team meetings became our safe space where we shared our issues and opened up about our struggles, allowing many of us to find a silver lining in a grueling situation.
The Psychological and Emotional Impact
Mental health in sports is often overlooked, but the problem is finally being recognized and addressed worldwide. In the study, ‘An Examination of Depression, Anxiety, and Self-Esteem in Collegiate Student-Athletes’, it is stated that “Depression and anxiety are present within student-athletes, regardless of sport type…all student-athletes would benefit from the creation of validated, patient-centered mental health screenings and psychotherapeutic interventions.” Highlighting how much of a battle mental health is in sports.
Being a walk-on athlete, it’s no different, “It was a lot to deal with,” Dan expressed, capturing our constant struggle to balance academics and athletics with very little personal time. The scholarship athletes are cushioned by scholastic and financial support, often having the ability to get away with stuff we [walk-ons] couldn’t.
Our brotherhood meetings once again provided us a sanctuary away from the stress and pressures of football. Those venting sessions were our necessary coping mechanisms and our new support systems. There was an agreement of mutual support, offering relief in an otherwise relentless routine.
Quitting football was a tough decision, but my mental health is improving everyday without it.
Personal Growth and Development
As walk-on athletes, we underwent a demanding lifestylethat cultivated unparalleled growth and resilience. Your habits change, you become a different person and it is for the better. You are taught discipline on a level that is hard to teach yourself. Waking up early and pushing through the hellish workouts instilled a powerful mentality that continues to be applied to our everyday lives. The walk-on experience was not just about the physical and mental wear and tear, but a lot of days became a life lesson in perseverance and self-respect.
As we transitioned out of the student-athlete lifestyle, we found that the skills and mindset honed on the field translated seamlessly into other areas of life. Dan stated, “When I get a real job…I’m just going to be prepared for tough situations,” supporting the mindset we have all adapted for future challenges, both in and out of sports. The walk-on journey taught us how to thrive in adversity, turning the once daunting tasks of early mornings and intense workouts into a source of strength. It became a masterclass in resilience, shaping us into individuals ready to tackle any challenge with confidence and discipline.
As I reflect on my journey as a walk-on I wouldn’t change a thing. I am eternally grateful for the lessons learned the skills acquired the mentality developed and the friendships forged. This experience may raise questions for those observing from the outside…
“Why would you subject yourself to this treatment for such a long time?”
“Why did you decide to quit?”
“Why did you choose to become a walk-on in the place?”
The answers to these questions are simple; two are my friends who joined me on this podcast.
This exploration into life as a walk-on athlete at USC merely touches the surface of our encounters. It’s a grueling but rewarding lifestyle filled with excitement, facing many reality checks, substantial personal growth, and everlasting connections. Through this autoethnography and podcast, I hope to have shed more light on the trials of walk-ons like ourselves. The walk-ons may be overlooked, but we are undeniably pivotal to any collegiate team.
With all that being said, if I could go back and do it again, I would do it without hesitation.
Full Podcast
Sources
Daniel Jimenez-Fulton
L Simpson
Theo Bravos
Work Cited
Weber, S. R., Winkelmann, Z. K., Monsma, E. V., Arent, S. M., & Torres-McGehee, T. M. (2023). An Examination of Depression, Anxiety, and Self-Esteem in Collegiate Student-Athletes.
