The Most Amazingly Awesome Life-Changing 17-Step Cheat Sheet You’ll Ever Download
Ready to get your hands on the most important cheat sheet you’ll ever download?
Are you ready to accomplish something that takes normal people years, but you’ll be able to do it in just 7 easy steps?
Have you been dreaming of getting the perfect blueprint for the success you’ve always been dreaming of?
Well I want to give you all those things, and all it takes is clicking the download button.
But before I let you download the cheat sheet, a little bit of urgency and scarcity…
This offer will expire in some amount of days from whenever you read this.
There is a 30-day money back guarantee backed by logos of obscure “security” companies or random credit card logos I found on Google Images.
The replay of you reading this will expire 24 hours from now!
Are you concerned that you may not have the skills required to utilize this amazing offer?
What if I told you that I never had any skills. Not a single skill. But then I got the skills required by following my own cheat sheet. I was able to accomplish exactly what we’ve both been thinking about this entire time! Did I write the cheat sheet after or before I used it? NO ONE KNOWS!
Hold on there, sport… There’s more!
If you act in the next 735 seconds, you also get:
- Free shipping
- A 140% OFF discount
- Buy 3 get 17 free offer
- Optional complimentary Russian Brides/Husbands!
You’re ready to download the cheat sheet aren’t you?
You can’t wait to click a button that might/will/probably/won’t/should/doesn’t/does/absolutely/potentially change your life forever?
You want to keep scrolling, but you can’t stop reading because this offer is so great and you’re so great and I’m so great and isn’t it just great how wonderful life is when you can have free downloadable cheat sheets and blueprints???
WAIT ONE HOT MINUTE!
I don’t normally do this, but I decided you get some fast-action bonuses!
Bonus #1 — You get a crappy e-book I wrote 4 years ago that never sold and that no one ever wanted. Here’s a photo of it as a real book, because that makes total sense…
Bonus #2 — I’ll put you in my 29-day email funnel, where you’ll get 5 action-packed emails per day, all formatted terribly, with a very difficult to find unsubscribe link (spoiler alert: some emails won’t even have an unsubscribe link!!!!)
Bonus #3 — I talked some random social media expert/guru/sherpa/ninja into contributing one of their products to this as well (second spoiler alert: no one has ever read or used this product because it’s not any good).
Bonuses #4–7 — These will be testimonials I make up from fictional people who talk about how awesome I am (who can verify any of it, anyway??)
Bonus #8 — A downloadable certificate of achievement with your name on it! (It’s actually a clip art template in Powerpoint that I just type your name in and save as a BMP file.)
The additional free bonuses are out of this world, right?
You’re drooling all over your keyboard and desk?
You can’t wait to get this earth-shattering cheat sheet download that’s going to give you everything you need AND MORE?
Well, I have bad news.
There’s no actual cheat sheet.
There’s no blueprint.
The are no optional Russian Brides and Husbands.
I wrote this because I’m tired of seeing lots of free downloadable cheat sheets on the front pages of people’s websites. Sure, I dabbled in the cheat sheet game once upon a time. But then I moved on. Then I realized I wanted people to buy my products or sign up for my email list because they actually wanted to, not under the guise of hacking some system (which never actually works) or whatever.
So yeah, if you want real content about what it’s like to run an online business (selling digital products, software, and weird things) you can join my weekly newsletter (called the Action Army).
There are no cheat sheets to get my newsletter. No freebies. Nothing you can download to make your life better in just 12 easy steps. I don’t even have an image of a fake email signup form for you to fill out. You actually have to click a link — *GASP!*
Less cheat sheets. More thoughtful content that helps you figure out how to do things in a way that matters to you and doesn’t feel like cheating.
