You’re Not a Failure — You Just Need an Easier To-Do List

Eat, Poop, Lie Around: Check!

There’s so much to do! Why can’t I just lie in this children’s ball pit all day and night? Photo by Jacob Mejicanos on Unsplash

Do you feel like a failure most days?

Sure, we all do.

But failure is a feeling — or, well, maybe it’s an actual thing you can do. Hmm.

Either way, the reason you feel like a failure is you’re setting your expectations for yourself too high. If I cross a whole bunch of things off of a to-do list, I feel better about myself. So every day I make myself a list of easy things to cross out. You know, things I was probably going to do anyway, like talk to another human IRL, drink coffee and change my underwear (then put my same pajama pants back on).

I bet you do things every day. I bet you’re doing something right now. Go ahead: add “Read Darcy’s extremely entertaining Medium piece” to your list. You can cross it off at the end.

Here’s a sample to-do list to get you started:

Brush teeth.

At least once. Or maybe twice. No… once.

Everyone in the family who was alive when the day started still alive at the end of the day.

Replace “end of the day” with “noon” for an easier list and quicker gratification.

Take pills.

If you’re supposed to take pills. If you’re not, maybe write “don’t take pills” and cross off immediately.

Lie around.

Also, run around. Basically, copy your dog’s to-do list.

Get a treat.

Again, the dog metaphor.

I crossed off everything on my adorable list! Photo by Gabriel Yuji on Unsplash

Poop.

If you’re not pooping every day, you should maybe see a doctor.

Wipe.

Or spray-clean. Up to you whether to combine this with the previous item.

Wash at least three body parts with soap.

Each hand counts as one.

Worry if you’re a failure.

You’re gonna do it anyway. You might as well write it down and cross it off.

Read some stuff on Medium.

Alright, cross me off your list, you successful person, you. You earned it.

What other very doable things will you add to your to-do list today?