A fear of clowns is not funny
No pun intended
‘Coulrophobia’ is the technical name. I get that you didn’t ask and that it might be an irrelevant fact that has no substantial meaning to anyone that is reading this, but for me at least it gives me comfort that I’m not the only one suffering from such a fear. After all, if it has an official and recognised name then maybe I’m not so crazy.
Yes, that’s right. I’m deathly afraid of clowns.
I couldn’t tell you how I acquired such a fear. In fact, no one but me even knows I have it. Maybe it’s sprouted from some deep-set childhood trauma that has embedded itself so far into my mind that I’m unable to identify it, although I think that’s quite unlikely. When I say I’m scared of clowns I don’t just mean the typical “scary” clowns, such as the likes of Pennywise who are meant to be terrifying. Oddly enough I find them less scary. I’ve seen interviews and behind the scenes, I’m fairly acquainted with the actors, I know who is behind the mask. They are substantially less threatening than those you would see in a circus or at children's parties. Who are they? Who is behind the face paint?
That is the most terrifying concept to me. Masks and make-up can hide literally anything. Looks. Thoughts. Scars. Behind seemingly innocent painted smiles could be an angry, sad, or fearful individual. But painted faces can tell a whole different story. They show an excitable and fun character, who children and adults alike should feel comfortable, playful and happy around. But not me. Unless I know who is behind the mask, I will never be comfortable.
Even as a child, before I even had a concept of there being someone “underneath” the make-up, I still found them absolutely terrifying. I remember once when I was a lot younger, a friend of mine had a birthday party; there was a bouncy castle, music and balloons, everything you’d expect for a lavish and extravagant 7 year old’s party(she had rich parents). They also hired a live performer which, no surprise here, was a clown. He was wearing your typical clown attire, red nose, big colourful hair and massive red shoes that were about 10 sizes too big. I remember other kids sat right below the stage, watching in wonder as he juggled with various object and bellowing out a gut-wrenching laugh that I still remember today. But not me. I cowered behind my parents, refusing to go a step closer unless I was physically dragged. The laugh, the big shoes, the brightly coloured attire that should provoke happiness and joy, was all too much for me. I didn’t like it one bit. My parents, of course, didn’t understand why I was so scared. It was a clown.
“They’re supposed to be fun”, they said.
I read somewhere once that clowns are unsettling to some as they are so ‘unnatural’ in their appearance. The bright colours, the multi-coloured face paint, are all features that we don’t see every day. We are accustomed to seeing people naturally, with soft colours, but clowns and such stand out, for some in all the wrong ways. I think its the uncertainty that I find so unsettling.
Of course, mass media hasn’t helped my phobia at all. In recent years individuals people have used this craze to evoke fears in others, dressing up as clowns and standing on streets to scare people. Some found it funny, many weren’t bothered, but I, of course, found it terrifying. People at the time had no idea who they were, or what their intentions were, which is exactly what about clowns that I have come to fear the most. There was even a sighting of one on the road across from where I went to school at the time. I didn’t go in for a few days after that, and I’d be exactly the same today.
So there, I’ve said it. I’m terrified of clowns. From Pennywise to Ronald Mcdonald, they will always be one of my greatest phobias, however ridiculous that may seem.
