Being ´British`

Just admit it, you do like your tea, usually with milk. You say thank you to the bus driver. You say sorry when someone else bumps into you. You are proficient in queueing. You are British. I’m not.

Studying in England for half a year made me notice some of your extraordinary habits and ways. Most of these are based on my five housemates which, let’s be honest, is just about enough evidence to characterise a whole nation. So let me introduce to you: yourself.

You are British or, in fact, you are English? This is still confusing to me. However you probably like bacon and if you do there is a big chance you can eat it at any time of the day. Literally. You will choose to save two pounds for the bus even if that means you have to walk for half an hour. However you will not cycle, even the notion! Which I kind of understand considering cycling in the UK is like being in a warzone with ugly helmets and neon jackets.

It is not strange for you to address your uni teacher with their first name. It is not strange for your uni teacher to tell you how they are still hangover from last night’s concert. You eat around six. You are probably not a vegetarian (because of bacon) and you are not a big fan of fruit. You think your country is not part of Europe. Surprisingly, you don’t talk that much about the weather, but your middle aged parents and teachers probably do.

You like drinking alcohol. You know at least five different ways to say you were drunk last night. You can manage to walk into a short dress without a coat when it is freezing (because of alcohol). However you find it harder to walk on high heels (because of alcohol). It is socially acceptable to start drinking before five. This made a lot clear for me. You like make-up, especially foundation. There is no such thing as ‘the British accent’. You don’t want to study forever, instead you actually want to get a ‘real’ job soon, because your tuition fee is ridiculously high.

You don’t speak like they do on BBC or in Harry Potter. This was kind of disappointing I have to admit. You have so many charities and even more chuggers, charity muggers. Having a foreign accent makes it a lot easier to escape from them, I learned.

You like harsh humour. You have thought about getting a tattoo. You like watching the bake off. You don’t have cream teas each weekend. You overtake more of the American culture then you are willing to admit. Quidditch is an actual sport, but not an actual word, according to Word.

Lastly, you don’t get why foreigners like your country. This foreigner really does however. I will miss it when I go back to my weed-smoking, cheese-eating country filled with tall blond people on bikes.