Future: the foreigner edition
I have been in the UK since 2015.
In these past years, I have never seriously thought about myself as a foreigner, or immigrant, or whatever you want to call it when you’re not originally from the country you’re currently living in.
I mean, it is quite obvious once you speak to me that I am. So, I have always been aware of it.
After all, it is kind of hard not to notice with the looks, and the questions, and the accent mocking.
But I have never given it much deep, considerate thought before.
And I have no idea why.
I’ll be perfectly honest, probably during the first few months to year, I paid a little more attention to it than I do now.
However, I was not, and still do not, pay attention to it for myself. Instead it dawns on me how it must be for others.
What I mean by that is, I am a white woman.
I can blend in, in this country.
If you just saw me walking down the high-street, chances are the first thought you’d have is probably not about my nationality.
It is an eye-opening experience to be a foreigner. If you are ever given the opportunity to live somewhere else, even for a short while, DO IT.
Anyways.
Lately, my nationality has been weighing kind of heavily on me.
I am in my final year of university. This means my visa, the thing that keeps me here, is going to be expiring soon.
Which means I have to start making some pretty big plans…
Let’s just start with the rest of this year, 2021.
April
~ Just started
~ I have finished all of my formal classes for my university undergrad.
Now what?
Well, I plan to work on my final assignments and submit them.
Then I will be hoping to get marks high enough to be able to earn my degree.
(Last year I had a few issues that took a toll on my marks, oops)
May
~ I will hopefully — thank you, COVID — be sitting some exams for an additional qualification. This will be my second and third time sitting some of them.
June
~ I plan to be moving into a new flat with a mate. Because moving to a new house is always the most fun one can have and never stressful.
~ Plus, we probably can’t actually afford the place we’ve signed on for…
~ Plus, plus, we have to furnish the entire flat as a super fun bonus.
Can you hear my wallet screaming? I can!
~ And there will be a few more exams for that previously mentioned additional qualification.
July. ‘Oof’. July.
~ A very nerve-wracking one for me because, applications open for a new visa, I may be eligible for… (we will cover my current visa shortly)
~ This new ‘Graduate Visa’ (‘GV’) would let me stay in the UK for the next two years without having to reply an employment sponsorship to keep me here.
~ Which sounds very nice for the first while, but keep in mind, during those two years I would also be trying to get a job that would be able and willing to sponsor me once the ‘GV’ expires.
August
~ This is where things start to split off into the unknown/no control territory…
~ Scenario #1: I get accepted for the ‘GV’ and start looking for work to support myself, at least for a while. Whilst also looking to start some kind of a career position.
~ Scenario #2: I get denied for the ‘GV’ and have to start panic-applying for career positions in order to gain sponsorship to stay in the country once my current ‘Student Visa’ (‘SV’) expires.
September
~ Scenario #1: continues from previous month.
~ Scenario #2: If, by the end of this month, I have not received any offers of sponsorship employment, I need to start making arrangements to return back to my home country.
What kind of arrangements? I hear you ask. Well…
Flights
Travel safety precautions (depending on COVID at the time)
Packing and sorting what I am able to keep and what I have to get rid of.
Coordination with UK Gov and Visa Compliance team.
Finding someone to take my room in the new flat in order to not screw over my mate.
Figuring out what to do once I am back in my home country (COVID, job and mental health wise).
October
~ Scenario #1: continues
~ Scenario #2: My ‘SV’ officially expires, and I am no longer legally permitted to be in the country and have to return home.
~ Scenario #3: I have managed to secure employment with a sponsor, and I start a life/job in the real-world.
(Cannot currently decide which of the above options is more terrifying.)
November
~ Scenario #1: If this is the scenario that comes to fruition, then I will have to be making some travel arrangements (again, what will COVID have in store for us by now?) for this month; returning to my home country for some amount of time to attend a friend’s wedding.
~ Scenario #2: Attend my friend’s wedding and then move to the other side of the country to live with my sister, because it is incredibly unhealthy for me to remain in my hometown.
~ Scenario #3: Convince my brand-new job to give me a few days off of work so that I may travel to my home country to attend my friend’s wedding and then come back.
December
~ Fuck knows.
Welcome to the life and mind of an international student who does not want to return to their home country once they have finished university.
So, after reading all of this, I’m sure you can only imagine my reaction when given the assignment to write a piece on the subject of the future.
I have never been one to often think about the future. Which is kind of ironic given how much of a planner I can be, at times.
I like to plan for as much as possible, but I also always keep in the back of my mind that I can’t plan for or control everything.
I have always hated those questions you get growing up, and even sometimes still:
‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’
‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’
‘Do you see yourself having a family someday?’
It feels very odd to me to think about the future, of myself or anyone else for that matter. Growing up I could never imagine myself at the age I am now.
I honestly didn’t have in my mind that I would be alive for this long, so why think about something I couldn’t believe would actually happen?
Even today, I can’t think about myself a few years from now, let alone a few months. There are just too many possibilities of what could happen…
Gestures to the entire past year.
Anyone have a crystal ball that I can borrow?
