Have Squatters’ Rights Gone Too Far?
With news just in of a porridge-feasting intruder
The mother of a family of three from Canterbury, Kent, has reported having her porridge eaten, chairs sat on and beds slept in having returned from a ‘staycation’ in the Sherwood Forest Centerparcs last night.
Mama Bear, 45, reports the horror of returning from a family trip away to discover her Quaker Oats had been demolished, with the intruder leaving heaps of dirty-porridge bowls ‘to soak’ in the sink.
Mr and Mrs Bear had treated their child, Baby Bear, age 8, to a fun outdoors break during the school holidays. As Mr Bear, 59, waited outside with their terrified child, Mrs Bear bravely inspected the house.
“It is just so devastating. We had only just got the chairs re-upholstered,” Mrs Bear told the BBC this morning.
With three sets of cutlery and bowls dumped in the sink and each of their bedrooms made a mess, the family are questioning who would do this and what was their motive?
A local eyewitness and neighbour, Mrs Hedgehog, age 60, reports hearing a commotion at approximately 2.30 am, the day before the Bears returned home. She alerted her husband, who scrambled out of bed to catch a glimpse of the fiend.
Forensics have released the following sketch based on the eye-witness report:
This afternoon the Woodland Police issued a statement:
“We understand that this has been a deeply traumatic event for The Bear Family. Quaker Oaks are very expensive, and no one deserves to return from holiday to a sink full of dirty dishes and unmade beds. We strongly urge any witnesses to come forward with information.”
Mrs Bear, a fish-monger, is due to be signed off work with stress for the foreseeable future and says she is fearful to allow Baby Bear to return to school.
The incident is being treated as highly suspicious. Police are advising neighbours to keep oat-based snacks out of direct sight.
If you witnessed any events or hold information related to these events, please contact The Woodland Police or email porridgethieves@kent.com
