How Cynophobia ruined my childhood
For most of my childhood, I feared leaving the house and particularly going to outside spaces. Most common childhood activities were off the cards for me. I was diagnosed with Cynophobia as a toddler, which hindered my childhood more than anyone ever expected.
When I was a baby, my nan was pushing me in my buggy through our local park in London, and a gigantic dog ran away from its owner and leapt onto me in the pram, drowning my face in saliva and blocking my view of the surroundings outside of my buggy. This singular incident affected the rest of my childhood drastically.
My phobia of dogs become apparent when I refused to go to the park or any public outdoor spaces. Most children would be begging to go to the local playground, however, that was my worst nightmare. Although my parents did attempt to encourage me to want to go out, I was always traumatised. I have vivid memories of walking through my now-favourite park, and when I saw a dog in the distance, I climbed up the nearest tree like a squirrel and had a panic attack in the branches three metres high. I refused to move as my parents begged me to get down before falling, and I didn’t move until I knew the dog was gone.
One of my biggest triggers was the sound of the light jingle of what I associated with a dog lead and collar bashing together. I regularly interpreted this sound from various instances that were completely unrelated to dogs, for example, the sound of a bundle of keys clinking straight away appeared to me like a dog was nearby. My severe anxiety undeniably worsened with these extreme and particular sensory issues, and I used the constant apprehension of this noise to decide if I was in a safe environment or not. My best friend in primary school had three dogs, so I would rarely go to her house for playdates as most children would, or if I did then her mum had to lock the dogs in the kitchen, and I had to fight through the dreadful panic attacks triggered by the barking.
After 10 years of living in constant terror, my parents decided to reach out for psychological help for me, as this phobia was prohibiting me from living a free childhood. I had trapped myself in a mental cage and thrown away the key. After speaking with doctors and doing their research, they discovered that there was only one free therapy organisation for children suffering from Cynophobia in Europe, based in the Essex Dog Training Centre, and coincidentally it was a 15-minute drive from me! Out of the whole of Europe!
I began these Cynophobia classes weekly, and I vividly remember the petrifying first session where I had to be in the same room as the therapy dogs, and I was asked if I could stand approximately 5 metres away from one on a lead. I couldn’t. I ran out of the room screaming and crying.
6 months later, I ‘graduated’ from the Cynophobia course, and received certification for overcoming my phobia. Throughout my time participating in these therapy classes, now Queen Consort of the United Kingdom, Camilla, visited the dog training centre, and I was chosen to show her around the property and be filmed for multiple news channels simultaneously. My dad and I were interviewed for the ‘Look East’ news channel, which was broadcasted the next evening. This was an unforgettable experience for me and my family.
The Essex Dog Training Centre saved me from a life of anxiety and continuous fear. Now, completely phobia free, I love dogs and mostly forget I ever had a phobia. However, I am confident that my life would’ve gone in a completely alternate direction if I didn’t receive help. My childhood finally began at 10 years old, and it’s safe to say that I have made up for it since then.
