How I Learned Just How Much Long-Distance Sucks
And how I learned to cope with it
When I went to uni, I was secretly hoping I would do what so many before me have done and find the potential love of my life. Lucky for me, this did happen. Unlucky for me, it wasn’t long before we had to endure long-distance. Having become a couple at the end of 2020, with all the restrictions, it was difficult to actually spend time together whilst adhering to the rules. There was a slip-up every now and again — who’s to blame a new couple sharing a kiss or two? — but overall we dealt with not seeing each other and distancing only slightly. There were countless walks in the great outdoors, so we could spend time together in a way that didn’t break the rules. I ended up feeling like a puppy, not being able to contain my excitement for our next walk.
With four months-worth of lockdowns, three lots of university holidays, and now my boyfriend’s year abroad, it is likely that we managed to spend only 2 or 3 months together in person, out of what will be a 1 year and 7-month long relationship when he comes home. We both feel that we can class our entire relationship as long-distance, especially considering we haven’t spent more than 4 consecutive days together. There was always something in the way, preventing us from seeing each other. The pandemic was the main reason, but unfortunately there was university work, as well as expensive train fares, family get-togethers, and slightly uncomfortable roommates — plus the lack of privacy.
We kept pushing back the thought of Spain, especially with the pandemic; nobody knew what was going on, and we were holding onto the hope that he wouldn’t actually have to go. Unfortunately, he did go, and the first term was the hardest 3 months of our lives. Thank God for FaceTime! Seeing each other at Christmas was just amazing, but it couldn’t last long. The next 6 months are going to be extremely hard; the distance between us feels way more than the 1000 odd miles it actually is.
The main way we have managed to stay (just about) sane during this time is by texting all day, as well as using FaceTime. We have made sure we set a specific day to FaceTime just in case we don’t manage to call at any other point during the week (though this is rare, thank goodness!). These allow us to spend time together virtually, which is the next best thing and the only thing we can do right now. We use Netflix Party almost every phone call, so we can still act sort of normal by watching TV together while we’re calling. We usually talk while we’re watching something, either about the show or something else, so it is nice to still have familiarity while being miles apart.
Overall, we have found that the best way to cope with this is through communication and trust. Those are the basics of a good, strong relationship. For anyone having to go through this or will have to go through this in the future, my single piece of advice is to find any opportunity to have a proper phone call; it works wonders on any bad mood you have and helps dispel arguments if there have been any. The joy I get from seeing my boyfriend’s face and hearing his voice at the same time make up the loss I’m feeling without him.
