Is Social Media Destroying Relationships?
The scary truth behind relationships in a social media-obsessed world.
By Cloearnold
In the world we live in today, it is almost impossible to get by without using social media. According to Statista, we spend an average of 153 minutes a day on social media, increasing from the 93 minutes spent in 2012. This average time is constantly increasing, causing many to fear the effects that it may be having on our health and well-being. Another widespread concern is the effect that social media is having on our relationships. Is it the cause of modern day break-ups and damaging our chances of finding true love? It is all good and well being able to keep up with your favourite celebrity or share photos of your recent summer holiday. However, if social media is ruining something completely vital to our survival as humans, then what’s the point?
We are ignoring each other in person.
I think that one problem with social media is that it gives people an instant cure for boredom. If there is even a second when someone is not speaking or doing something, the subconscious response now is to pick up their phone and scroll through social media. It is appalling the amount of times I have gone to a restaurant to see couples looking through their phones, rather than taking that chance to communicate with each other. This time should be a chance for couples to talk about things that are happening in their lives, make each other a laugh, and ultimately just make memories! The fact that this has been taken away from us by the world of social media being only an arm’s length away is relatively upsetting. If we don’t want these special moments with our partners to disappear, we should be making a conscious effort to put our phones down and engage in conversation with our loved ones.
‘Fake’ relationships are making us feel inadequate.
The problem with social media is that everybody wants to come across as if they are perfect; they want us to think they have the perfect job, the perfect relationship, and an all-round perfect life. Couples are constantly posting photos with the “adventures” they have been on with partner, who they “adore” and “couldn’t live without”. However, you never see anyone post about the typical everyday problems that most people experience in their relationships, such as the endless arguments about who lost the car keys or who took the bins out last. Relationships on social media appear almost too good to be true, leaving many feeling inadequate and unsatisfied with their own reality. Well, the truth is they are not so seamless as they make out. Nobody should ever have to compare themselves or their relationship to what they see online, but sometimes it cannot be helped. Instead of doing this, we should start promoting the ordinary realities that make our lives so entertaining, rather than wanting everyone to think everything’s perfect.
We are stalking each other.
People are becoming obsessed with ‘stalking’ their love interests, whether in a relationship with them or not. Information about people’s whereabouts and when they were last ‘active’ is so readily available that people are checking up on their partners’ every move. This may be something that sounds quite unimportant in the grand scheme of things and something that couples wouldn’t have had to worry about twenty years ago. But, in reality it is causing many complications in peoples’ relationships and causing them to question where their partners are, or why they’re not responding to their text from fifteen minutes ago, when they were ‘active’ on Instagram two minutes ago. It’s a minefield in the online world.
If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to?
Many studies have shown that there has been a correlation between the rise in depression and the increase in social media use. It is affecting our self-esteem and teaching us to constantly compare the way we are to others online. Suicide rates are now at an all-time high and many are experiencing anxiety on a daily basis. Although the results from many studies show correlation, not causation, it’s a coincidence that there has been a rise in these factors in a time that social media is so prevalent in peoples’ lives. But, how is this affecting our relationships? Well, exposure to photo-shopped and filtered photos has left many people questioning their own appearance. Unfortunately, this has impacted on the way that they are in relationships. Through no fault of their own, people have been left feeling not good enough due to the effects of flicking through others photos. Therefore, peoples’ moods and confidence has decreased. This has led to difficulties building a relationship with someone else, and ultimately ruining what may have been, in a ‘pre-social media time’ a perfectly happy relationship. Loving yourself needs to be put to the forefront before trying to form any relationship, and social media isn’t helping.
