It Would be Much Better if Dogs Could Talk
Haven’t you always wanted to know what your dog is thinking?
Let’s face it, dogs are probably the best thing about life. If you disagree or prefer cats then you’re wrong! Dogs are loyal, trusting companions, friends and members of the family. But they have one downfall. They can’t talk! Imagine a world where we could communicate using language with our adorable pets. I don’t think we would ever be quiet!
No more barking!
No longer would we be harassed by that piercing bark wondering “what do you want?” after you’ve walked, fed and watered them. Instead, we could have a polite chat, discuss the problem and find a solution- Simple!
Dinnertime would be a lot quieter
You could tell them the time that dinner will be ready without them whining from 4pm onwards. You could discuss what they want for dinner. Maybe they’re fed up with dried, chicken flavoured biscuits every night, wouldn’t you be too? You could find out exactly what they like and dislike. It would make dinnertime much more exciting (and quiet) for everyone!
Walkies!
Imagine being able to discuss where they want to go for a walk. I can hear the conversation now: “fancy walking round the field?”, “no my legs hurt from climbing that hill yesterday, let’s stick to the park.” Then you wouldn’t have to worry about why they’re pulling to go home or acting more sluggish than normal, they would just be able to tell you. You could discuss other dogs too. Note what ones are nice and what ones your dog likes to play with. It would be like living a whole other life! Of course you would have trouble chatting about walks without them hearing and getting excited. Assuming they could spell too, w-a-l-k would be too easy! A new code word would be required.
We could ask their opinions
Wouldn’t it be great to know what your dog really thought of you? More importantly, do they like that outfit you’re wearing? Often they give us that look and it’s hard to decipher if they’re disgusted by our appearance or are just hungry. Well if they could talk, we could just ask them! My dog is always the first to meet new friends and boyfriends. They could actually tell us what they thought of them. In detail. Before we introduce them to our parents. Without them speaking you can normally tell who your dog likes and who they want to keep a wide distance from, but being able to discuss this with them would make life a whole lot easier!
We could explain
When you leave the house and they give you those puppy dog eyes that are sure to raise your guilt, wouldn’t it be good if you could explain where you’re going and why? Telling them you’ll only be an hour will actually make sense to them. They would understand that you have to go to work and that they’re not allowed to come- even though you desperately want them to! It’s hard to explain to a dog that doesn’t understand, but imagine talking to one that does!
What do dogs think?
We would actually know what dogs really think. What goes on in their head? Is it all food and sleep and walks? Do they have the capacity to have a conversation and would it be meaningful? We’d also know how they feel when they’re ill. Are they in pain? That’s probably the hardest thing about owning a dog, seeing them ill but not actually knowing how they feel or being able to help. Talking dogs would eliminate this matter!
Maybe this isn’t as impossible as we think…
Working on a Google April Fool’s joke, Amazon claim that they are actually attempting to produce a collar that detects dog’s movements and produce speech according to their actions. So, if the dog is pawing the door, it will say “I want to go out!” Like it? As dog lovers, I think we could all probably work this out anyway, it’s hardly rocket science. But something else that Amazon claims the collar can do is both more impressive and intriguing…
They suggest the collar might actually be able to translate barks into English! So my dream of being able to talk to a dog could actually come true! Although, there are a few problems that may cause a hindrance to this much needed technology. Barks are very loud and it is suggested that the barks may drown out the speech produced by the collar, ultimately making it useless. There is also the issue of the wide variety of breeds of dog. Having a universal collar would pretty much be impossible. Dogs come in all shapes and sizes and each has different characteristics. A collar for a Schnauzer would both be too small for a Dalmatian and would have trouble identifying different movements and the need they symbolise. Additionally, something it doesn’t appear that anyone has considered is whether dog barks are actually translatable. It’s highly unlikely that a bark represents a word or phrase, so how can these be identified?
Perhaps a solution would be a robo-dog. We could programme them to speak like a human but behave like a dog. That’s the best of both worlds right? Depends how you feel about using an A.I. as a pet, it might not be the most emotional creature. But, it’s mess free and still loyal.
Best friend
Basically, a speaking dog could be your best friend. You know they would be honest, caring and loyal. Give man’s best friend a voice and that’s it- life is complete! Who needs anyone else?
