It Would Be Much Better if We Just Stopped Worrying
Life is a tower of Jenga blocks.
“Stop worrying!” “Don’t worry about it!” “There’s no need to worry, everything is gonna be ok!” My friends, my family, my other half must spend 50% of their speaking-to-frankie-time telling me to calm the hell down. First and foremost, I am one of life’s worriers. It’s a simple statement but I think there are those out there that can relate. If you too belong to the special breed of humans that have panic as their default emotion, then this article is for you. I don’t know what it is, I don’t know how I developed this way of life and I don’t know what exactly I worry about half the time yet here I am, relieving my woes to you lovely people as I try and uncover some of these mysteries.
I don’t think that I have always been like this. There will be no flashback to a 10 year old Frankie, watching her peers playing hopscotch in the playground whilst she sits on the side, assessing the potential risks and aggravations. All in all I was a pretty laid back kid, and for the most part I even am now. I think if you knew me superficially, you would get that impression. I am quite chill about a fair few things and I have an easy going, often silly, personality which often portrays a carefree, bouncy human being. Again, I am for the most part that Frankie. This isn’t a Jekyll and Hyde story and I’m not going to suddenly reveal a split, half murderous, personality. I think the best analogy is that of a tower of Jenga blocks. For the most part I’m stable, having a great time; all the blocks are perfectly aligned. Then you apply a bit of pressure to one of the blocks, and suddenly your tower is looking slightly off-balanced. And because one block is slightly off, this has a domino effect on the other blocks. As you keep applying pressure to different blocks, trying to place them neatly on the top, your tower becomes more and more unsteady. The further along through the game, the more blocks that are out of place, and it becomes harder to put them back in their gaps to re-build the tower.
Now I’m not saying I’ve been close to crumbling like a plethora of wooden blocks, more like I’ve teetered like an unsteady, leaning-tower-of-Pisa-like Jenga tower. For those unable to decipher my skills with analogy, and to just clear things up, the idea behind this analogy is that I tend to have a slight stress or worry, and this then seeps into other aspects of my life until I’m:
- Suddenly worrying about things that I either shouldn’t
- Worrying about things that are so far into the distance that they don’t bare thinking about
- Worrying about the smallest of things that shouldn’t even be worries at all
A worry makes friends with other worries until you feel completely taken over by the worry-gang. These worries have a way of making you feel insecure but more importantly out of control and play on things you didn’t even realise were within you. These worries, so deeply ingrained within the subconscious, come to light in a surprising and sometimes shocking manner. You then become worried that you’re having these worries, worries that you didn’t even realise you had until you were worried about them; this is incredibly worrisome.
As you can imagine, it becomes a whole jumble of panic and emotions. When you’re trying to function as a human being (doing your work, socialising and performing basic tasks) this can be greatly hindered by these worries and thoughts constantly playing on your mind. This can then affect your judgement when dealing with problems or even just generally any situation. I think looking in from the outside, whether for a friend or in hindsight upon yourself, its easier to have an objective view on things and to notice where judgement is being affected. But when you are in the thick of it, when it is you facing these worries and these concerns it is a completely different ball game. People can reason with you. They can pragmatically discuss every worry you come up with, highlight when there is no need to worry and offer you the most wonderful comfort and support you could ever wish of a person. Regardless, when you are so caught up in your own worry-web, and this isn’t to say you aren’t grateful of this or that what is given to you isn’t helpful or doesn’t touch the sides in some way, it is easy to forget when other worries creep in again. The voice in your head, the niggle of self doubt is a powerful thing not to be underestimated.
So what do I do to combat these worries? How do I stop the blocks from being disjointed? Well first of all, our blocks are always going to be disjointed from time to time. We wouldn’t be human if it was as easy as that. The idea is to recognise the signs and know what helps you. I think it is easy for the downward spiral to form, and knowing what things really make you feel good can help to stop this in its tracks. For me, this has been exercise, but exercise not for a particular body but for strength and enjoyment. Often gym classes are a good way of listening to some good tunes, having a bit of a sweat and letting go of some tension. 9/10 I feel good after some sport, and if I don’t it is because my body or my mind is too tired (this is important to note also). If this is the case, or sport isn’t something that de-stresses you, then finding something else is equally as beneficial. I would say that surrounding yourself with people often helps, as bouncing off other people’s stories and experiences can make you focus on something else. I think what is important here is the idea of focus. When it is your mind that is leading you astray, using it for some other purpose, concentrating on something else is a really good technique. When you’re busy trying to follow a complex Zumba routine, you aren’t thinking about all the worrisome quirks in your life. Then you feel like you have achieved something when you’re done and your state of mind is a lot more positive.
Now in spite of a dodgy analogy, an extensive rambling and a tally of the usage of the word ‘worry’ at approximately 405, I hope that this article has helped you in some way. If it has only verified that you are not the only one to feel like this, given you a tip on how to cope, or inspired you never to read anything on this topic ever again, then at least I have performed some sort of service. I’m not going to end this telling you dear people to simply stop worrying, because we all know that this is an impossible task, but merely do worry (hear me out). It’s ok to worry, it’s natural to us. We have the ability to worry dating back to evolutionary times through our instinct of survival. Sometimes it is good to worry as it prepares us for the ongoing challenges and allows us to mentally equip ourselves for what we have to deal with. So be at one with yourself and your worries, control them and thus yourself, and keep on top of that teetering Jenga block.
With thanks to Hattie Farley
