(Judging People on) Social Media is for Idiots
And so is comparing yourself to others.
When reading that title you might think that “Oh no, another mommy telling me what to do”. Don’t be frightened my children, I will take it easy on you. I’d just like to point out that if you spend your days scrolling through your Instagram feed looking at other people’s #selfies judging them and picking them apart then what are you really doing? You use a huge chunk of valuable time you’ll never get back at shouting mean thoughts to a screen. Next time, go yell at a wall and see how that works out for you. Better yet, do it front of a mirror and see how it feels like.
At what time did it become socially acceptable to start telling strangers that you don’t like their face? It’s like the whole internet adopted the demeanor of a drunk guy who got turned down at a bar. “You’re not as pretty as you think.” Okay great, but who asked you? We’ve entered an era where self-love and pride have become taboos we’re not allowed to have. We’re judged and chastised for sharing our pictures, unless it’s a progress picture, which, really, are the only ones we’re allowed to be proud of. If you’re not a work in progress there must be something wrong with you, and you should totally work on that. We live in a society where anon hate is a concept, as if the real-life hate was not enough for us. People get bullied online, because, apparently, it’s not enough to get bullied offline. Seriously?
I must admit however, that the idea for this piece of writing stemmed from my own social media behavior. I’ve noticed that whenever scrolling through Instagram, especially the fitness tags which I enthusiastically follow, I tend to judge the pictures other people share on their profiles. Yes, I judge what they willingly choose to post on their own account which they own and run as they seem fit. How dare they. “You’re not fitness enough, put your shirt back on”; “you should be wearing pants, I cannot see your hamstrings”. Instead of embracing the courage they’ve had in sharing a photo they are obviously very proud of and showing them support, I stare at my screen angrily, trying to find something that’s wrong with it. And why do I do that? Because I am an idiot, probably. I gain nothing positive to my life from this free-time activity of mine, but frankly just feel ashamed after. Social media can be great but in the worst case scenario it can become a source of negativity and hostility, an embryo of ubiquitous hatred that will ruin your day. In my humble personal opinion, the world’s a sad enough place as it is, why should we keep on spreading it around? Why do I keep looking for that angry part inside myself? I’m going to like the picture anyway, why do I need to hate it first?
Continuing on the topic of judging others, I believe a lot of it comes from our own insecurities. We keep comparing ourselves to others in every possible way; looks, lifestyle, work, friends, followers or whatever, everything can be put under scrutiny and comparison. Picture-taking skills or writing style if everything else fails, but rest assured, there’s always some way a person can be better than you. However, I’m going to tell you a secret now, are you ready? It doesn’t matter at all. You’ll never be the same as someone else, but why would you ever want to? You’re supposed to be unique and you’re supposed to stand out so why should you aspire to become like others? If it won’t make your life better in any way, then just don’t do it. It’s that simple.
Furthermore, what do we gain from comparing our bloopers to others’ highlight reel? No one’s social media truly depicts how they are on a Day-to-Day-basis. Adding to that, the pressure nowadays to be the certain way or look the certain way is so enormous that of course it’s hard to ignore. (Almost) Everyone has that inner need to be liked, and sometimes that need for acceptance can go a little too far and you end up hating yourself because you’re not somebody else. Add the cruelty of social media trolls and you have a nice mix of hatred from every possible source, and no one gets anything out of the process.
I’d suggest that you stop hating others and start caring for yourself. At the end of the day you’re the only person you really have to stick with, and it would be a lot more fun to hang out with a person you actually like, wouldn’t it? Don’t define your value according to the comments, likes, responses, or re-tweets you get, but just feel good about yourself in whatever way it might be. (Unless it means judging or slamming others, don’t feel good about that.)
With thanks to Jennifer A.
