Miles Away From Home — Coping with Homesickness
The world around you is dull. You cannot seem to focus on anything because everything reminds you of what is not home. There is this growing sense of anxiety and sorrow within you. You feel so alone, on the verge of tears and unable to do anything. You do not even have the willpower to reach out to anyone, scrolling through social media and feeling even more depressed. You isolate yourself, helpless in your own pool of despair, questioning why you even moved here.
Why did you do this to yourself?
If you have ever been homesick, these feelings will probably be very familiar to you. It can eat away at your excitement for the new life you moved there with and leave you in doubt and regret.
But What Actually Is Homesickness?
Homesickness cannot be defined in one word or one sentence. Yes, it is it that yearning to go home, but really it is the discomfort of being in a place completely unfamiliar to you. You do not know your way around nor the landmarks, people, culture, or food. You do not where you belong in this new place. This is homesickness.
It is that feeling of being an outsider.
Struggles of International Students
When I moved to England to study at University of Kent, all the way from Japan in my first year, now two and half years ago, I experienced the most extreme form of homesickness. My dad had come with me to help me settle into my new life, but after he left...it was bad.
Really bad.
I was constantly on the verge of tears. I could not focus on anything, let alone do anything. When I called my parents, all I could do was cry. I was miserable almost all the time and isolated myself.
I just felt so alone.
At that time, I really thought I would not be able to survive it. But here I am, writing this article. I survived. And you can too.
There were several strategies I used that helped ease my homesickness, but before using these strategies, you need to first muster up the willpower and courage. Without doing this, these strategies will fall deaf on your ears. If you just take that first step, I know it is big but if you do, I promise you it will get easier.
How To Cope With Homesickness
1. Establish a safety net — a support network
What I mean by this is to get out of your house and socialize. Go to your classes or job and talk to people. Make friends. If there are societies or clubs at your university or any communal activities at your place, join them! The only way you are going to get out of your head and out of your misery is by talking to other people. Discuss topics that you like to talk about to keep you occupied. As you begin to do these things regularly, you will start developing consistent relationships with people and you will know who you can trust and rely on. This is when you will start to feel safe and secure as this new place is not so scary and unfamiliar to you anymore.
2. Pursue your hobbies
Watch shows or films, dance, shop, do sports, read, sew, draw, paint, knit, anything fun really. If you do not have any hobbies, you can easily find one. Remember distraction is key! The internet has an abundance of content and ideas to keep you preoccupied.
3. Cook home food and celebrate traditions/festivals you would at home
Keep in touch with your culture.
4. Listen to music that feels like home
This could be in your home/local language or any music that gives you comfort and puts you at peace. Something that you always come back to.
6. Exercise regularly
The main idea is to get out, get fresh air and your daily physical activity.
6. Keep in touch with your family (if you can), but not too much!
Call your family every day and you will find yourself feeling even more depressed! The key is finding that balance that works for you.
Homesickness slowly eases with time, but it still comes and go. There is unfortunately no cure for it. However, with these strategies you will gradually be able to manage your feelings and find your sense of peace. It is within your power.
